SP/MP Horror/Funny stories

[jumpingjackflash]

I would love to hear your funny or hair raising experiences. No need to name names unless the scam is still going on and you think it may help another to avoid the situation.

Mine happened about 3 months ago. I was at a very popular strip joint. I went in with $300.00, spent approx. $100.00 but when I arrived home and checked my pockets my little stack of cash was gone. I didn't bother going back because I couldn't prove anything.

Many of you veterans must have some great stories, some funny some maybe not so funny.

Ladies on the other side, how about your funny or scary client stories??

 

[Reverse]

In my last week I had a late afternoon appt. I hear a knock on the door and look through the peep hole and notice my grade 11 high school teacher on the other side of the door. It wasn't the fact I was positive he had a smelly ass but there was no way I was opening the door. I called the agency and let them know about the situation and they quickly took care of it.

Smelly bum, terrible marker and just way to creepy for my liking!

 

[RAWD]

I was in a hot and heavy session with my fave at the time. It was on a particularly warm spring day and the AC hadn't kicked in. I was sweating like a pig while doing my thing so I reached out to a stack of facecloths on the shelf to wipe off my sweat.

Do you know what facecloths are used for at an MP?

 

[peace]

OUch!!!!

 

[HOF]

In my last week I had a late afternoon appt. I hear a knock on the door and look through the peep hole and notice my grade 11 high school teacher on the other side of the door. It wasn't the fact I was positive he had a smelly ass but there was no way I was opening the door. I called the agency and let them know about the situation and they quickly took care of it.

Smelly bum, terrible marker and just way to creepy for my liking!

Glad that wasn't me and my bum smells like Irish Spring!

When can I get an appointment? PM me:biggrin2:

 

[-b]

In my last week I had a late afternoon appt. I hear a knock on the door and look through the peep hole and notice my grade 11 high school teacher on the other side of the door. It wasn't the fact I was positive he had a smelly ass but there was no way I was opening the door. I called the agency and let them know about the situation and they quickly took care of it.

Smelly bum, terrible marker and just way to creepy for my liking!

I did not even see your Avart , I knew it was you...:LMAO: I am even shaking my head.....:no:

 

[HOF]

Well, I have several good/bad stories!

5 years ago, the team I was coaching was in a tournament at downsview park and right outside of the gym a car show was happening. Cars like the fast and furious and the girls to match fast & furious. One booth was the "Got Ass" girls and they had "Got Ass bucks" they were all 20s looked like American money the front had a girl in a bikini and the back the ass.

Here's where it gets funny. On my way home, I stopped at the infamous Cannonball, bought an MGD and this girl that looked like a young Mariah Carey approached. Yeah, we went to the private lounge, she gave me the rundown and I chose from it. So when it was done, I reached into my wallet and accidently gave her the "GOT ASS" bucks-there must have been 9 or 10 folded and she said, "Great American Money!" and stashed it in her purse. I took a couple swigs of beer, said goodbye and got outta dodge! The last was the last time I ever went there!:biggrin2:

MGD 10.00 w tip
Extra-curricular action 00.00
Pulling one over on a stripper.

Absolutely Priceless.

 

[-b]

:no:

 

[Maurice Boscorelli]

MGD 10.00 w tip
Extra-curricular action 00.00
Pulling one over on a stripper.

Absolutely Priceless.

Now if said stripper were too see this and secretly come to the Christmas party and kick you where the sun doesn't shine, then that would be priceless.

 

[Shiek]

I remember hearing from a stripper about that cheapskate that paid her in fake yankee bills, however her description didnt match you and she never worked at CB so you're off the hook

 

[HOF]

Now if said stripper were too see this and secretly come to the Christmas party and kick you where the sun doesn't shine, then that would be priceless.

:no:


Well, I did read elsewhere that some dude believes he was ripped off by two strippers in Toronto, so I feel no guilt for this.:biggrin2:

 

[HOF]

I remember hearing from a stripper about that cheapskate that paid her in fake yankee bills, however her description didnt match you and she never worked at CB so you're off the hook

:LMAO:

 

[Art Mann]

So that was a funny story, HOF ..... now what about your horror story:biggrin2:

 

[HOF]

So that was a funny story, HOF ..... now what about your horror story:biggrin2:

Well, Vikki Blue!

 

[Fullthrottle]

I booked an appointment through Craigslist. She sounded very sweet on the phone and looked great in the pics. I'm into Asians and she was only charging $160.00 for the hour. A 40 something Asian lady with so so teeth greeted me at the door and I was too horny to turn back.

She started with a cbj and every so often I was catching a whiff of shit. It would go away and then "slap" another whiff of shit! Hmmm, we had showered together so I know her ass was clean but this whiff of shit was coming from somewhere.

I decided I would start off in mish for the main event and she assumed the position. I placed the throttle into position and rammed in when all of a sudden at the same time she lets out a huge clacker and wow there now is a definite stench of shit. She quickly pushes me off, says something in Chinese and rushes to the bathroom which was in the room. All I heard was a symphony of strange noises and moans coming from the bathroom and the entire room was now engulfed in a stench of SHIT!

Needless to say the sog never happened and I left while she was still in the bathroom. Even the Viagra I had popped prior to the session was not helping at this point!

I already had paid the $160. and I'm sure she was glad she didn't have to face me.

$160=CBJ, one thrust mish and the stench of asshole permeating through the room= priceless .

 

[RAWD]

I booked an appointment through Craigslist. She sounded very sweet on the phone and looked great in the pics. I'm into Asians and she was only charging $160.00 for the hour. A 40 something Asian lady with so so teeth greeted me at the door and I was too horny to turn back.

She started with a cbj and every so often I was catching a whiff of shit. It would go away and then "slap" another whiff of shit! Hmmm, we had showered together so I know her ass was clean but this whiff of shit was coming from somewhere.

I decided I would start off in mish for the main event and she assumed the position. I placed the throttle into position and rammed in when all of a sudden at the same time she lets out a huge clacker and wow there now is a definite stench of shit. She quickly pushes me off, says something in Chinese and rushes to the bathroom which was in the room. All I heard was a symphony of strange noises and moans coming from the bathroom and the entire room was now engulfed in a stench of SHIT!

Needless to say the sog never happened and I left while she was still in the bathroom. Even the Viagra I had popped prior to the session was not helping at this point!

I already had paid the $160. and I'm sure she was glad she didn't have to face me.

$160=CBJ, one thrust mish and the stench of asshole permeating through the room= priceless .

That is both a horror and a funny story!

Reminds me of scary tale of hobbyist pounding an SP hard on the bed and then looking down in horror to see a long skid mark left on the sheets.

 

[papasmerf]

I booked an appointment through Craigslist. She sounded very sweet on the phone and looked great in the pics. I'm into Asians and she was only charging $160.00 for the hour. A 40 something Asian lady with so so teeth greeted me at the door and I was too horny to turn back.

She started with a cbj and every so often I was catching a whiff of shit. It would go away and then "slap" another whiff of shit! Hmmm, we had showered together so I know her ass was clean but this whiff of shit was coming from somewhere.

I decided I would start off in mish for the main event and she assumed the position. I placed the throttle into position and rammed in when all of a sudden at the same time she lets out a huge clacker and wow there now is a definite stench of shit. She quickly pushes me off, says something in Chinese and rushes to the bathroom which was in the room. All I heard was a symphony of strange noises and moans coming from the bathroom and the entire room was now engulfed in a stench of SHIT!

Needless to say the sog never happened and I left while she was still in the bathroom. Even the Viagra I had popped prior to the session was not helping at this point!

I already had paid the $160. and I'm sure she was glad she didn't have to face me.

$160=CBJ, one thrust mish and the stench of asshole permeating through the room= priceless .

What a crappy story

 

[Art Mann]

Well, Vikki Blue!

Amazing how much story you can convey in just three words.:biggrin2:

 

[Cardinal Fang]

Since we're on a self deprecating kind of theme I'll start with my SP story.

This one involves the escort better known as Daisy aka Jillian of Cupids. She was a popular escort back then who had a rack you could motor boat in better than cottage country lakes. She had announced her retirement and I ended up meeting her at a party at Treasures one night after her last day. When I introduced myself she looked me up and down and said I wasn't what she expected. She obviously thought I would be more obnoxious looking in person. Having passed her visual criteria which I realized was a low bar she agreed to see me. The following week we met up at her place and she had a drink ready for me. She joked it was her version of the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. I quickly remember Douglas Adams writing about this drink that "the effect of which is like having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick." Sounded fun to me!
As I sipped on the drink I focused on her bodacious "ta tas" and mouthed "oh my God" everytime she looked away. Come time for the festivities we quickly proceeded to the bedroom. That's where the stomach ache began. As she was going down on my I could not focus on what was happening because frankly it felt like an Alien wanted to spring forth from my abdomen. It got to the point I couldn't hold it any longer and told her to stop! I got up and ran to the bathroom and threw up violently in her sink.

I began to think what the hell was happening and then realized the drink I had consumed. The only thing I know I have bad reactions to is some whiskey's and in particular Bourbon.

"Daisy? What did you put in the drink?"
"Bourbon and some fruit juice, why?"
"Oh nothing!"

*Insert sound of more vomiting*

 

[thesun]

I was at this Asian mp place. The attendant was some old lady but I was in serious need of a massage and a happy conclusion. The massage was horrible and I am thinking, It is ok. The Happy conclusion will make up for it. Well to my surprise, she was actually napping while jerking me off. Is it possible to multi task while napping??????