SP/MP Horror/Funny stories

[RAWD]

I was at this Asian mp place. The attendant was some old lady but I was in serious need of a massage and a happy conclusion. The massage was horrible and I am thinking, It is ok. The Happy conclusion will make up for it. Well to my surprise, she was actually napping while jerking me off. Is it possible to multi task while napping??????

Totally. I had a girl fall asleep on me mid-blowjob once. The thing is, she didn't completely stop. She kinda kept licking and kissing intermittently. It was kinda fun, actually.

 

[Art Mann]

... Is it possible to multi task while napping??????

I just fell asleep reading this thread. Does that count?

 

[papasmerf]

Totally. I had a girl fall asleep on me mid-blowjob once. The thing is, she didn't completely stop. She kinda kept licking and kissing intermittently. It was kinda fun, actually.

same thing happened to me in Kindergarten

we were five and it was time to pull out our rugs and nap.

Well seems she was a lot more tired than I

 

[jumpingjackflash]

Several years ago I walk into a popular mpa and pick out a beautiful looking map. As the lovely creature is massaging my back she asks me if I'm going to be a generous gentleman and take the bs. I happily oblige and her bs technique was impressive especially when she spins into a 69 position and I go for a deep lick. As I'm licking a spot a string dangling and I stop and ask her if she has a visitor. She replies

"yes hon, is there a problem?":SayWhat?:

I reply "yes there is, I DON'T LIKE MY FISH RAW"

 

[papasmerf]

Several years ago I walk into a popular mpa and pick out a beautiful looking map. As the lovely creature is massaging my back she asks me if I'm going to be a generous gentleman and take the bs. I happily oblige and her bs technique was impressive especially when she spins into a 69 position and I go for a deep lick. As I'm licking a spot a string dangling and I stop and ask her if she has a visitor. She replies

"yes hon, is there a problem?":SayWhat?:




I reply "yes there is, I DON'T LIKE MY FISH RAW"

was likely a party popper

pull the string and out pops confetti

 

[Bridgette_xo]

One time I was having a hard time getting the condom to go on a client so I pulled it to put it on and accidentally snapped it on his...yeah. He wasn't upset but I was embarrassed!

 

[Analme]

One time I was having a hard time getting the condom to go on a client so I pulled it to put it on and accidentally snapped it on his...yeah. He wasn't upset but I was embarrassed!

Ouch, that would hurt!:biggrin2:

 

[HOF]

One time I was having a hard time getting the condom to go on a client so I pulled it to put it on and accidentally snapped it on his...yeah. He wasn't upset but I was embarrassed!

I am hosting SP condom placement class this Saturday; you are now on the list!

 

[Bridgette_xo]

I am hosting SP condom placement class this Saturday; you are now on the list!

Thanks HOFFIE. :sorry2:

 

[-b]

Thanks HOFFIE. :sorry2:

Or better yet you can come over to my place and I can show you
how to really snap them so they cry real tears.....:LMAO:

Or we could eat cheese cake and watch a movie.....:blush2:

 

[Robintheboywonder]

Or we could eat cheese cake and watch a movie.....:blush2:

Count me in, cheese cake is my favourite!

 

[Robintheboywonder]

Funny thing that happened to me was in an massage parlour. I was brought into a room to shower and await my lady of choice. I come out of the shower and I'm drying off when an attendant walks in with another dude. They are both in shock and awe as they stand there looking at me in the buff. I like to think they were impressed but for some reason they were giggling as they walked out!

 

[peace]

So you enjoy men looking at you....

 

[-b]

So you enjoy men looking at you....

:LMAO:

Peace, don't make fun of your Lover.....:biggrin2:

 

[Robintheboywonder]

So you enjoy men looking at you....

No I don't but what I hate more is people walking away giggling after seeing me naked!

 

[papasmerf]

No I don't but what I hate more is people walking away giggling after seeing me naked!

zooooooooo, dis es vhen you first decided your mother hated you??:rofl!:

 

[Sophia Sinclair]

Funny thing that happened to me was in an massage parlour. I was brought into a room to shower and await my lady of choice. I come out of the shower and I'm drying off when an attendant walks in with another dude. They are both in shock and awe as they stand there looking at me in the buff. I like to think they were impressed but for some reason they were giggling as they walked out!

 

[HOF]

No I don't but what I hate more is people walking away giggling after seeing me naked!

:rofl!:

 

[Madman]

 

[peace]

madman likes looking at you robin