Stay!

[Danolo]

I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the
local shopping center and rolled
Down the car windows to make sure my
Labrador Retriever Pup had fresh air.
(She is a "Yellow" [blonde] Lab . . . )


She was stretched full-out on the back seat
and I wanted to impress upon her that she must
remain there.
I walked to the curb backward,
pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically,
"Now you stay. Do you hear me?"

"Stay! Stay!"

The driver of a nearby car, a pretty blonde young lady,
gave me a strange look and said,

"Why don't you just put it in Park?"

 

[Ozzie]

A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.

Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.

She showed him the instructions on the tin,

"For best results, put on two coats".​

 

[Hardon1]

How can you tell a FAX has been sent from a blonde?



There's a stamp on it.

 

[Ang]

A young fellow ran into an old man who was carrying a bag.


"What's in the bag?" the youngster asked.


"magic apples", the old man replied.


"Prove it", said the young man.


"Well, besides apples, what is your favorite two fruits?" asked the old man.


"Watermelon and peaches", he answered.


The man handed him an apple and told him to try it out. The boy took a bite and said that it tasted like a watermelon. "Ok, turn it over", he said.


The boy did and took another bite and said that it tasted like a peach.


The youngster still wasn't convinced that they were magic.


The old fellow told him to name something else that he liked to eat.



"I like to eat pussy." he snapped.


The man handed him another apple and told him to try it.


He took a big bite, spit it out, wiped his mouth and exclaimed, "That tasted like shit".


The old man looked at him, smiled and said, "Turn it over."

 

[Cycleguy007]

He took a big bite, spit it out, wiped his mouth and exclaimed, "That tasted like shit".

 

[Nothingtodo]

A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.

The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.

The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.

Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.

Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.

To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.

The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"

The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"

 

[Curly]

A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game.
She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand."

"What did you not understand ?"

And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

​