What would you if?

[Culioneros]

Your grown child calls you to vent and to have someone to talk to ((26 year old). It becomes apparent that he needs financial help again but he won't say it because he has done it before and embarrassed to ask again. Do I bother preaching to him again about budgeting correctly, do I just ignore it or do I just send him some money so he can breath easier.

He has a low paying job and is not into drugs or alcohol. He does have a girlfriend that he has to entertain on the weekends etc...

What to do?.

 

[papasmerf]

ask if he has thought about moving back home until he is back on his feet

 

[OneEyeGuy]

It's tough out there for the young ones. Give but keep it low as to not spoil him and not relying on you all the time. He has to develop a backbone and to budget correctly.

 

[God]

It's tough out there for the young ones. Give but keep it low as to not spoil him and not relying on you all the time. He has to develop a backbone and to budget correctly.

There was a time when a University degree assured you a of good job, good pay and a comfortable life. Not any more. Today, the unemployment rate for young people in this country is close to 15% – double that of the general population. But the real crisis is the increasing number of university and college grads who are underemployed– scraping by on low-paid, part-time jobs that don’t require a degree. Although there are no official statistics in Canada,

it’s estimated that after graduating, one in three 25 to 29 year olds with a college or university degree ends up in a low-skilled job. And to make things worse, 60% graduate with an average debt of $27,000. Mired in debt, and working in dead end jobs, their launch into adulthood is being curtailed. Some call them “the lost generation”. But, it’s not only young people who may be lost. If the next generation fails to gain a toehold into the economy, who’ll buy boomer’s houses? Who’ll pay for social programs? Youth unemployment and underemployment is a ticking time bomb with serious consequences for everyone.

GENERATION JOBLESS delves into why so many young Canadians are overeducated and underemployed. The reality is that today’s twenty-something’s are entering an economy in the throes of a seismic shift where globalization and technology are transforming the workplace. Automation is replacing tens of thousands of jobs at a time. Companies fixated on the bottom line are outsourcing jobs and wherever possible getting computers to do the work.

Employers are placing a higher premium on experienced workers, unwilling to invest in training new entrants to the workforce. So, young people are caught in a catch 22. How do you get experience if no one will hire you without it? Many are working for free as unpaid interns, just to try and get their foot in the door. And, for the first time in history youth are facing another unique challenge – competition with their parents’ generation for the small pool of jobs that do exist. Boomers who are delaying retirement.

By all accounts the problem is only going to get worse. Especially since the key players in Canada –universities, employers and governments – are not working together to find a solution. Canada is the only country in the world without a national body responsible for education and is seen as one of the most decentralized and fragmented countries in the world when it comes to helping young people make a smooth entry into the world of work.

Several experts weigh in on what many are calling the most important social issue of our time – including Francis Fong, TD Bank Economist and author of the report The Plight of Younger Workers that paints a bleak picture of youth employment in Canada;Armine Yalnizyan Sr. Economist, Canadian Centre for Policy Alternatives who has been tracking trends in the labour market for two decades; and Dr. Paul Cappon, former head of the Canadian Council on Learning a research and advocacy program focused on learning in Canada;

The documentary takes viewers to Switzerland where the youth unemployment rate is 2.8% - the lowest in the developed world. Here the idea of young people graduating with degrees and unable to find jobs is virtually unheard of. Dr. Stefan Wolter, Director of the Coordination Centre For Research In Education, explains how all levels of government, educators and employers, work together to ensure that education and training are linked to employment.

 

[Julius Caesar]

Sounds like he is aware, that his money is tight.
And it is quite tough to find a great paying job, for his age group.
Relying on you and helping him once in a while are a fine line.
Sometimes lectures can have the reverse effect than what we intend.

 

[tboy]

It's tough out there for the young ones. Give but keep it low as to not spoil him and not relying on you all the time. He has to develop a backbone and to budget correctly.

I hate to say it but in many cases you can budget all you want but often people just don't make enough money to have a reasonable standard of living. I mean, there's been times in my life where I had only enough money to be able to buy a loaf of bread and had to make that last a week.

As for the "young ones" I had a customer who was in his 60's and had made and lost millions and while doing a reno for him he had to borrow money from his mother to pay me....I think it all depends on the situation though. If you have enough money and know he isn't just blowing it on non-essentials, then give it to him, don't lend it to him. A "loan" doesn't help him out, just prolongs the agony.

It also has to do with earnings too. They say the poverty line is $18K a year or thereabouts but try and live in toronto on that. That is, not living in a shit hole with roommates, eating kraft dinner 6 times a week, and not having much of a life. Even up here where I live: you can't get a reasonable apartment for less than $800 plus utilities and with heat, and our cold winters, that could run you as much as $400 a month more during the winter. Now add in a phone, and internet, and maybe the cheapest tv package and you're talking almost $1500 a month easy and since there really is no bus service so to speak, and like me, if you work out in the boonies, you need a reliable vehicle, there's no WAY you could survive on anything less than $35K a year.

Times are tough, prices keep going up and wages aren't. I think as parents you're going to find more and more kids, no matter what the age, relying on you to help them out.

 

[tboy]

Oh, one other thing: it is more pronounced in the US than here but it is happening here as well. The "economy" can be growing and more money is being made but the problem is all that growth and profit is going to a smaller and smaller segment of society. I forget the exact numbers but something like 99% of the economic growth in the US went to the top .01% of the population. The next 1/2% went to the next 1% and the last 1/2% of growth was fought over by everybody else.

What this means is that the rich are getting richer and not spending the money on wages. In talking to a financier he explained that the wealthy get many tax breaks in order to have a trickle down effect that is supposed to spread those dollars saved all through the economy. The problem is that while yes, the wealthy do spend, they spend it on things like a new lambo gallardo which only helps a very very small portion of the population.

A great example given is that some regular folks will buy a new car, like maybe a ford edge. This is supposed to also help the economy. But I explained to him that while yes, that does help a bit but really, where does the lion's share of the profit of that car sale go? First and foremost ford, then the ford dealer. Then yeah, the salesman might make a couple of hundred off the sale. Then maybe yeah, the mechanics who might work on it might make some pennies but again, those with money make the lion's share. Then think of the gas companies.....they are raping us left and right and sure, they might have attendants at the gas station and yeah, people working in the refineries but again, where does the lion's share of the profits go? to the execs. You can't have a trillion dollars (or was it billions?) profit and pay everyone in the food chain fairly.

Another good example is air canada. The execs asked/forced all the peons to take reductions in benefits, wage freezes etc because "the company was in trouble" then what happens? The ceo gives himself a $15 million dollar bonus and a 20% increase in salary.....

 

[Prick]

Give him $300 and ask him if you can do his girlfriend for an hour.

 

[Art Mann]

How far away does he live? What kind of $$ are involved? Can you afford to sacrifice those dollars with little or no expectation of repayment?

Apart from this low point of financial need, what kind of relationship do you have?

Are you pals? Do you watch the ball game together? Sit on the porch sharing cold beers and discussing each other's work/career/dreams?

If you answered yes to the last three, great, you already know what to do.

If you wish you could say yes, then you have an opportunity right now to strengthen your relationship and make it more rewarding.

If a quick substantial cash injection will take immediate stress out of his life and you can do it, good on you. If this is more an ongoing problem due to the low-paying job, maybe frequent small fiscal boosts could be a way to help out too.

Try creatively linking family bonding to fiscal support, with the focus on family bonding. Spend more hang time and while you're at it pick up some mundane costs for him, boring, basic stuff, thereby letting him devote his cash flow to more luxury items (like taste in clothing).

Invite him over to watch the game and when he goes tell him to take the rest of that case of beer along. Or stop by his place with the beer and shoot the shit while you christen the case. May it's not always beer, maybe take him steaks for the BBQ. Or get in the habit of treating him and his girlfriend to a nice dinner out ... with you (+partner if attached).

The key is to make this process of supporting him in little ways be the side effect of getting together. Done crassly it's just bribery for affection, especially if you haven't been close. Done more naturally it's just fatherly generosity. You might not solve all his financial problems, but this will be way more pleasant for both of you than preaching at him.

All of this getting together is premised, of course, on the assumption you both live in the same city. If you're at distance, you may still want to help him with cash input from time to time, and I would recommend it be accompanied by "family time." Go visit for the weekend. Have him come to town and bring his girlfriend. Take them out to experience live theatre. Treat them to dinner. Take them on vacation on your tab if you can afford it and think you can survive a week or two of togetherness. Do what you can. I would.

Your son sounds like a good kid. You should be grateful he calls to vent.

My son is of similar age. He calls to vent all the time. Or talk about work. Or just to shoot the shit. Or we help each other with home reno projects, during which we may grumble loudly at each other. Sometimes we grab a sandwich at lunch, sometimes a beer after work. I did not experience this kind of relationship with my own father. I am grateful to enjoy it with my son.

Sometimes I look at my credit card statement and think, "How did this get on my bill? What's the chance of extracting that cash from his pocket? Will there never be an end to the financial cost of parenting?"

And then I think "What a small price to pay for this friendship."

 

[oldguyzer]

It's no tougher out there today than it was years ago. The difference is attitude. Kids today are too complacent and don't care to do it themselves when there's a handout available. I paid for 13 years of University by working evenings and weekends. I took pride in my jobs, no matter what they were. Today, kids want everything handed to them because that's the norm. Do you really think school is harder today than it was years ago? Answer is no. Coddled kids end up as whining adults. And politicians.

 

[Culioneros]

And then I think "What a small price to pay for this friendship."

Very well said Art Mann and thanks for the advice guys. We are very close and 5 hour drive away.

 

[Transient]

What about scheduling an appointment with financial consultant? There are consultants that evaluate and help to establish household budgets for reasonable fees. Sometimes the information has greater impact if presented from someone other than a parent. Go with him and support him but have him discuss his numbers with the consultant. Give him the tools to take responsibility for his spending and maybe that will set him on the right path.

 

[HOF]

Wow, there are some great suggestions here!

1. Moving back home can be an option; however, he should be paying room and board or rent and have rules. That way you could help him learn to budget. He pays 1/3 of utilities and groceries plus something for rent which you save for him.

2. Get a roommate!

3 Downsize.

4. Go dutch with the girlfriend or have her pay every other time! (Women's liberation and all)

5. Financial counselling.

6. Get a second job.

7. The strength of your relationship is important, would he appreciate help and learn better management techniques, or would he think your kindness is weakness and this becomes a re-occuring issue?

8. Oldguyzer is right! With respect to education, it isn't different now. Anyone who attended College, University or Apprenticed had to work very hard to get ahead.

9. At 26, the world is his playground; move to the lands of opportunity. Canada is a large country with Western Provinces growing.

10. Another point of education, there are too many obsolete degrees and diplomas. If you look at most post-secondary programs, 65-75% are truly useless. Here's a justification, what do most with sociology, psychology, political science, history, geography, English, journalism and so many others desire to do after graduation become teachers. These degrees though earned are useless today and to carry 30K debt after obtaining a designate of Hons BA or BA will take along time to pay off.

 

[-b]

Send the money.....:-Cool/"

 

[Pullmyfinger]

Wow, there are some great suggestions here!

Ditto.