Why did God Create Man First?

[blissful]

1. Practice makes perfect.
2.Give us someone to bitch at immidately.
3.There's a first draft with anything.
4. to see what needed to be fixed and then make the proper changes.
5.First is the worst.....second is the Best
6. To be Funny

Have fun. play safe. and smile, not many people do.

 

[Auggie]

Yes, but that bitch start all the problems and got them kicked out of their place by the owner.

You can't get away with defying that fucker, he's pretty vengeful.

 

[tboy]

Well, he tried to make things better the second time around but he found you can't improve on perfection!

Speaking of adam and eve:

Adam was wandering through the garden of eden one day and eve rushes out of the trees screaming ADAM ADAM ADAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

What what? adam says:

He looks down and eve is bleeding from between her legs.

What am I going to DO? says eve.

Adam starts shoving leaves and stuff between her legs but it doesn't help. Adam is freaking out, he says: Eve, you go to the river and clean up, I'm going to ask god for help....

Eve goes off to get cleaned up and Adam yells out:

GOD GODDDDDDDD GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Yes adam? god answers

God Eve is bleeding and I don't know what to do I've tried everything and nothing works oh I'm so worried!!!!!

God says: Oh sorry, I forgot to tell you. That's a part of life. Women ovulate and once every month if the egg isn't fertilized she will bleed. Everything's going to be fine...

With a sigh of relief adam says: Oh, ok, whew I was worried.

God says: By the way adam where IS eve?

Adam says: Oh, I sent her to the river to clean up....

God says: Oh crap, it's going to take me forever to get the smell outta the fish.......

 

[Butch]

Why did God Create Man First?

He didn't want any advice :tongue:.

 

[Ang]

Who else was Eve gonna ask, "Does this fig leaf make my ass look fat?".

 

[Esco!]

Man had to arrive on scene first and collect building materials to construct a fully functional kitchen before woman arrived


*runs out of thread*

 

[blissful]

Because She was only joking.

Men and Women were created equal but women continued to improve.

 

[Esco!]

Men and Women were created equal but women continued to improve

Woman also got man to improve, only to turn around 20 years later and say thats not the same man she first married :aww:

 

[tboy]

Woman also got man to improve, only to turn around 20 years later and say thats not the same man she first married :aww:

lol

ZING!!!​

 

[Cycleguy007]

 

[blissful]

And God Made Man


One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve called out to God..."Lord, I have a problem!"

"What's the problem, Eve?"

"Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."

"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.

"Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples."

"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."

"What's a 'man', Lord?"

"This man will be a flawed creature, with aggressive tendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to empathize or listen to you properly. All in all, he'll give you a hard time. But, he'll be bigger, faster and more muscular than you. He'll also need your advice to think properly. He'll be really good at fighting and kicking a ball about, hunting fleet-footed ruminants, and not altogether bad in the sack."

"Sounds great," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow. "What's the catch, Lord?"

"Yeah, well.... you can have him on one condition."

"What's that, Lord?"

"You'll have to let him believe that I made him first."

 

[Esco!]

^^^^ LMAO...we've been duped :happy:

 

[Cycleguy007]

Top Ten Reasons Eve Was Created

10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the
garden because he would not ask for directions.

9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate
and hand him the remote.

8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf
when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.

7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist, or
haircut appointment for himself.

6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put the garbage
on the curb.

5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be
able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.

4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he
left his tools.

3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when
God caught him hiding in the garden.

2. As the Bible says, It is not good for man to be alone!

1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back,
scratched his head, and said, "I can do better than that!"

 

[blissful]

Top Ten Reasons Eve Was Created

10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the
garden because he would not ask for directions.

9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate
and hand him the remote.

8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf
when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.

7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist, or
haircut appointment for himself.

6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put the garbage
on the curb.

5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be
able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.

4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he
left his tools.

3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when
God caught him hiding in the garden.

2. As the Bible says, It is not good for man to be alone!

1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back,
scratched his head, and said, "I can do better than that!"

The tread was Why God Created Man First. CG

So this is for you.

Men is proof even God makes Mistakes.

 

[Cycleguy007]

Actually...

Actually...

The tread was Why God Created Man First.

I thought that was the title of the "thread". :tongue:

 

[Esco!]

God created man, and rested.

God then created woman, and nobody has rested since :shock:

 

[Esco!]

Actually the proper joke goes like this:


In the beginning, God created earth and rested.
Then God created man and rested.

Then God created woman, and since then neither God nor man has rested :happy:

 

[IFUSEEKAMY]

I know people joke about this subject a lot but in all seriousness I think it'd do a whole lotta good if men and women appreciated and respected why.

 

[Esco!]

I know people joke about this subject a lot but in all seriousness I think it'd do a whole lotta good if men and women appreciated and respected why.

 

[tboy]

I know people joke about this subject a lot but in all seriousness I think it'd do a whole lotta good if men and women appreciated and respected why.

respected why what?

But more to the point: you have to be able to laugh at yourself. If you can't? Then one ought to get really really stoned and learn to.

There is not ONE thing in this thread that (while stereotypical) isn't true to a certain extent.

I remember one GF I had who expounded on the fact that she wasn't a typical female and gave me grief all the time for debating the point. One time she was in the change room at a store and was talking through the door on this very subject. She comes out of the room, turns her ass to me and asks "do these pants make my ass look big"???? I just about killed myself laughing...I literally had tears running down my face......(and no, she didn't talk to me for the rest of the shopping trip).