Wife cheating

[SillyGirl]

You can't blame people for getting emotionally involved with someone, it isn't a choice. Seeing someone for physical needs is a rational decision, if someone chooses to fuck another person behind your back simply to get off that shows a lack of respect for your relationship.

Just like seeing escorts.

I wasn't blaming anyone for anything. Her husband is seeing escorts, who am I to judge? :neutral:

Regardless of how it happened, for most women, emotional involvement is a big deal. The OP would be smart to know his options should she decide to walk out the door.

Or worse, burn his stuff on the front lawn and change the locks.

No wait, I guess it would be better to change the locks first. :tongue:

 

[muckin]

wow,:he: this could be the thread of the month.lol. Keep them coming, great discussion.

I like the angle of getting her to the dark side, 3 help me become the next Sentry. :666: She has mentioned being open to the idea of a threesome in our conversations. Of course she is interested in bringing another dick in but will go with a second girl too. :he:

 

[muckin]

You really can't get mad...( i guess normal jealous feelings etc )
it's a perfect time to attempt to ''open'' the relationship

THE COUPLE WHO PLAYS TOGETHER STAYS TOGETHER :great::great:
thats actually where this might go. arty:

Not very...

you gave me a good laugh with this one. thanks

Rationally you have not any reason to be angry at her, however I'm sure all rational thought goes out of the window in times like this.

so true

If you want to make it work, call a marriage counsellor, priest, whatever.
thinking of counsellor. more $$$ than an SP, GOD DAM IT
Don't call a lawyer unless you want to end the relationship or are seriously thinking about it. The lawyer will advise you to do a whole bunch of things that are not warm and fuzzy.

But that's kinda my point. A lawyer will tell you how to end it, and not how to save the relationship.
Lawyers can be and usually are a cancer to these situations.
I would like to think that warm and fuzzy was part of the equation at some point in a romantic relationship.

Still, the relationship will NEVER be the same.

thats my thinking.

Yes he can. Mukin does not get emotionally with the SP he sees. His wife did, big difference there.
thats my feeling too, even if some feel its hypocritical.

Sorry to hear this Muckin. Is this why you stopped hobbying and posting reviews?

no, got busy with work, and was under the weather.

 

[athaire]

You don't really have any right to be angry about the physical aspect, but the emotional relationship is of far more consequence.

A consult with a lawyer is a good idea.

My thoughts exactly.

 

[LickingGravity]

You don't really have any right to be angry about the physical aspect, but the emotional relationship is of far more consequence.

A consult with a lawyer is a good idea.

Have to agree with the rational thought behind this response.

 

[tboy]

You can't blame people for getting emotionally involved with someone, it isn't a choice. Seeing someone for physical needs is a rational decision, if someone chooses to fuck another person behind your back simply to get off that shows a lack of respect for your relationship.

Just like seeing escorts.

Really? So you're saying you have (or believe) that no one has any self control? That the very second you meet someone you're either in love or you're not? Are you a woman? lol (sorry I thought only women believed in instantaneous love).

Sheesh, there's a million things you can do to avoid any emotional attachment to someone who isn't your spouse.

1) You meet someone you're attracted to, you avoid them
2) If you can't avoid them then you just don't allow yourself to take it any farther than as an acquaintance.

I mean hell, I've been in relationships where I've met someone who I click with yet did I search out their phone number? No. Did I ask them out? no....Did I flirt with them? No.....Why? because I was in a relationship......

Anyway, to the OP:

You're a hypocrite. You cannot get in any way shape or form angry that your wife is banging someone else when you yourself are doing the same damn thing.

Now for the emotionaly part, if you've tried your best to keep her happy emotionally and you yourself are still in love with her, then yeah, you can get miffed at that but if you really loved her, then you wouldn't be seeing sp's....

BTW: if you have to ask you already know the answer......

 

[muckin]

T BOY also makes some good points, your right I feel like a hypocrite.
Sometimes were just stupid and dont think with our big head. I may actually have her interested in broadening our sexual experinces now to spice things up, she has a wild side so this could get interesting. Were thinking of a night at Wicked to start things off. :666:

 

[tboy]

The only thing you should be prepared for in that sense muckin is if she's going to want a FMM not just a FMF....are you ready to cross swords with another guy?

 

[muckin]

The only thing you should be prepared for in that sense muckin is if she's going to want a FMM not just a FMF....are you ready to cross swords with another guy?

were in negotiations on that one

 

[Chunky]

MUCK, don't cross, tap or touch another man's sword!

Don't do it!

Leave her now!

Just kidding dude, do what you think will make you happy but I agree with Sillygirl on finding out your rights and costs via a good divorce lawyer. You can see one without the wife knowing about it and at least you will know the outcome if the open marriage doesn't work out.

 

[tboy]

MUCK, don't cross, tap or touch another man's sword!

Don't do it!

Leave her now!

Just kidding dude, do what you think will make you happy but I agree with Sillygirl on finding out your rights and costs via a good divorce lawyer. You can see one without the wife knowing about it and at least you will know the outcome if the open marriage doesn't work out.

Well, we can use a rule of thumb and say that it will cost him about 60% of everything he has, will have, wants to have, or had at one point......

 

[Auggie]

Really? So you're saying you have (or believe) that no one has any self control? That the very second you meet someone you're either in love or you're not? Are you a woman? lol (sorry I thought only women believed in instantaneous love).

I don't believe we always control who we fall in love with. Sure, we choose to see who we're attracted to in the first place but often we meet people we don't know and we fall for them.
It isn't a gender thing to think this way.

 

[RAWD]

I don't believe we always control who we fall in love with. Sure, we choose to see who we're attracted to in the first place but often we meet people we don't know and we fall for them.
It isn't a gender thing to think this way.

We can certainly control the events that lead up to falling in love, and we can choose to act on our feelings or deny them. Nothing happens in a relationship without conscious choice.

 

[muckin]

Well, we can use a rule of thumb and say that it will cost him about 60% of everything he has, will have, wants to have, or had at one point......

That wouldnt amount to muchmight be worth it.

 

[tboy]

We can certainly control the events that lead up to falling in love, and we can choose to act on our feelings or deny them. Nothing happens in a relationship without conscious choice.

Exactly, auggie seems to think our emotions rule our entire sense of being and there is no way to control our actions once emotions come into play.

By the same token I guess if auggie really hates someone and feels like killing them, he has no choice but to do so.....since he's saying that once you fall for someone you have no choice but to act on those emotions.....

I'd have to say that Auggie has my sympathies being a slave to his emotions and all. Thankfully most of us don't allow our emotions to control us.....

 

[Auggie]

Falling in love is a pleasant emotion that most people don't avoid. They may step back and look at it rationally and say the situation is wrong but at the moment they're swimming in emotions.

Anyone who never has acted on their emotions is too hardened to ever fall in love. They don't have my sympathies, it's something they chose for themselves.

 

[Rooster]

I think that at this point the marriage is likely damaged beyond any repair. There has been significant betrayal from both sides and if there was any interest in sex or a strong emotional bond with each other then neither side would be fucking around.

If there are kids then there is reason to try and keep things together otherwise the situation is financial. No use getting mad, just deal with it. The parties have to be looking down the road and thinking about positioning themselves for the inevitable breakup.

It doesn't have to be all negative. It just has to be looked at as a change in life path and perhaps the best thing for both parties. I think that a lawyer would have basic information for the husband as to how to proceed with his cheating wife. Just my opinion. Hope everything works out for your friend Muckin.

 

[RAWD]

Auggie, I actually agree with both you premises.

Attraction is entirely natural, but it takes a strong person to deny those feelings before they develop into love.

Ultimately, we all have to take responsibility for our actions.

 

[tboy]

Falling in love is a pleasant emotion that most people don't avoid. They may step back and look at it rationally and say the situation is wrong but at the moment they're swimming in emotions.

Anyone who never has acted on their emotions is too hardened to ever fall in love. They don't have my sympathies, it's something they chose for themselves.

Once again, you're off the mark. According to your theory is that once someone starts falling for someone else, that's it. Anything else is, in your words, they're "too hardened".

I hate to break it to you, but people who don't live by their emotions are pretty stable, compared to those who live only by their emotions, who are pretty UNstable.

Why does it have to be "live totally by your emotions" or "never act on your emotions"? Why can't someone pick and chose when they allow themselves to become emotionally involved with someone?

From the way you tell it the very second you meet someone, you're in love and that's it, you MUST MUST MUST pursue it even if it means cheating, lying, losing your kids, losing your home, otherwise they are "too hardened"??

What if that person is a crack addict? Must you throw your life away to be with that person?

What if they're a mass murderer or a rapist? Must you throw your life away to be with that person?

WHat if that person is underage? ....

I guess in Auggie World you must.......

 

[tboy]

Auggie, I actually agree with both you premises.

Attraction is entirely natural, but it takes a strong person to deny those feelings before they develop into love.

Ultimately, we all have to take responsibility for our actions.

I disagree, you don't have to be "strong" to avoid falling in love with someone. You just have to have a small iota of common sense and a little teeny bit of self control. You know, that part of us that prevents us from robbing banks, buying swampland in florida, buying the brooklyn bridge. You know, the part of us that says upon meeting the stripper with the big tits that says "you're married, don't fuck this chick".

But who am I kidding? Half the guys (more n half actually) are married and bang sp's weekly so that's the mindset in this place....