So I am 1 week in to a 4 week Yoga Teacher Training Intensive and loving it, and also finding it an emotionally taxing experience, not to mention one that has me analyzing and questioning myself. I am looking for a means to get out of the hell that is nursing, as this profession was never one that I had wanted to do in the first place, but a means to financial security at a time when the economy sucked... I am without a doubt the quintessential Gen Xer, bitter and twisted in my scathing assessment of the economy and the future, with a hatred for the Baby Boomers so virulent that only their complete and utterly destruction and annihiliation will see me satisfied. Those fuckers in with their cheap post-secondary educations, cheap housing and charmed lives as they cash in on their good future while fucking the rest of us up the ass with the rising cost of real estate and living, so they can live in luxurious retirement while the rest of us starve and struggle. They and their entitled little asshole Millenial children whom they helicopter parented, and funded with guilt money for having neglected them in their self-serving greedy pursuit for money, status and power. But I digress....
I am conflicted and being and learning about the yoga philosophy, my previous understanding being woefully inadequate and misunderstood, and finding out that my increasing awareness and enlightment will equally deepen my depth of shadow and dark. I am embracing my shadow side, my dark self, my inner slut who has lead me to such naughty and dirty behaviour. And so there is no "All good" or "All bad" but a balance of these aspects in equal amounts concentrated in one woman (ME) as I strive to fulfill my potential. And that is good... I like the slut, she is alot of fucking fun and she is astute to boot. I realize that I want to be both facets of the same coin, both good and bad, both Madonna and whore... and as I am finding out, that yoga and enligtenment would demand it..... Not ready to give up the earthly plain not now or ever .... am too much indulged and rooted in the sensual aspects of humanity and the wild nature of the world.... I want a life not transcending this exitence but intensely immersed in it. And I am coming to realize that it could very well come to pass.... as I pass along my fear and need for security and cast off the mantle of "professional, and nurse" .... dare I hope to become something I truly want and have dreamed about for years? I can scarcely fathom the inherent potential and the longing stark hope that has me daring it could possible come true. The GenXer unlike the Baby Boomer who was born with horseshoes up his/her ass realized years ago that God shined on the Baby Boom generation, and shit on hers... and no amount of hope could change that.... but maybe, just maybe Karma is ready to give her a fucking break.... Because let's face it, she is seriously due....
I am conflicted and being and learning about the yoga philosophy, my previous understanding being woefully inadequate and misunderstood, and finding out that my increasing awareness and enlightment will equally deepen my depth of shadow and dark. I am embracing my shadow side, my dark self, my inner slut who has lead me to such naughty and dirty behaviour. And so there is no "All good" or "All bad" but a balance of these aspects in equal amounts concentrated in one woman (ME) as I strive to fulfill my potential. And that is good... I like the slut, she is alot of fucking fun and she is astute to boot. I realize that I want to be both facets of the same coin, both good and bad, both Madonna and whore... and as I am finding out, that yoga and enligtenment would demand it..... Not ready to give up the earthly plain not now or ever .... am too much indulged and rooted in the sensual aspects of humanity and the wild nature of the world.... I want a life not transcending this exitence but intensely immersed in it. And I am coming to realize that it could very well come to pass.... as I pass along my fear and need for security and cast off the mantle of "professional, and nurse" .... dare I hope to become something I truly want and have dreamed about for years? I can scarcely fathom the inherent potential and the longing stark hope that has me daring it could possible come true. The GenXer unlike the Baby Boomer who was born with horseshoes up his/her ass realized years ago that God shined on the Baby Boom generation, and shit on hers... and no amount of hope could change that.... but maybe, just maybe Karma is ready to give her a fucking break.... Because let's face it, she is seriously due....
