MisterAsianLover said:
I listen to these women make these claims about sexual assault, sexual harassment etc. They cry and tell how there lives changed forever because some man made a sexual advance against them.
Well, I don't know any guy that would react the same way if a female were to make such an advance.
Why?
Because men like sex, women don't. Men want sex ALL THE TIME. Women, rarely do. So, when a man makes an advance, the woman is traumatized. But, if a man was approached in the same way, he would 'high-five' his buddies and smile on the drive home.
No one can dispute that.
Teacher make advances against me as a student in her class in highschool? Dream come true.
Hmmm.... So are you entirely negating the traumatizing experiences of young males by persons of trust in positions of power? Wow.... you are sexist and clueless, against your own gender no less. That or utterly callous about sexual abuse and its resulting lifelong psychological trauma....
https://goodmenproject.com/featured...be-the-poster-child-for-sexually-abused-boys/
"I think our cultural expectations of what it means to “be a man” – call it “masculinity” if you will – play a significant role in keeping men quiet. Here are 5 ways in which those cultural expectations can negatively impact boys.
#1: Guys defend themselves. Teens and adults who were physically or sexually abused often believe that they should have been able to physically fight off their abuser. Although victims often recognize that this notion is logically absurd because those adult abusers were much bigger, heavier, and stronger than their child victims, it often takes months or years before they genuinely accept that reality. In a culture where boys are taught to “stick up for themselves,” “end fights, not start them” and the like, it’s that much harder for guys to accept that they were victimized.
#2: Guys (always) want sex. In American culture, we believe that dudes are primarily interested in sex, and don’t really care with whom, where, or when that sex occurs. This notion is central to a subgenre of movies starting with Porky’s and highlighted by American Pie, as well as TV characters from The Fonz through Sam Malone through Joey, Charlie, and Barney. Although only a minority of guys act this way, when we hold it up as the standard, it makes it more difficult for a boy or man to come forward and say “I was raped” because he’s not only admitting his victimhood, he’s saying that he’s different than most guys. Or rather, what we think most guys are like.
#3: Questions about sexual orientation (re: male abuser). In cases of male on male sexual abuse, the most common pattern is an adult male abusing a pre-pubescent boy. Despite the knowledge that they were coerced into sex, male victims often wonder if their experiences (will) make them gay. After all, current day American culture tells us that any type of male-male sexual behavior probably means a guy is gay. Being abused is very different than “experimenting,” but even then we assume that a guy who experiments with another guy is probably gay.
#4: Questions about sexual orientation (re: female abuser). It’s hard enough to admit being raped. For a guy who was sexually abused or raped by a woman, he’s got to get people to move past their idea that he didn’t want sex (see #2) and acknowledge that he couldn’t defend himself (see #1). Ask a teenager to describe a guy who turns down sex and can’t fight off a girl, and they’ll probably tell you he’s a fag.
#5: DIY mentality. Guys are taught to be independent, solve problems on their own, and not ask for help. Its part of the reason they don’t read instructions or ask for directions while driving. Yet it’s clear that for serious trauma, talking it through with someone else can be incredibly helpful. For some issues, it doesn’t matter if that conversations happens with friends who genuinely understand it, a group of others who’ve also been abused, or with a professional. But to address all the ways in which abuse can mess people up, a well-trained professional who understands men and masculinity is the most effective option. "
