Blank_Dave
Reviewer
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2010
- Messages
- 1,780
This is something I've been wanting to post for along time, given that I have received a lot of support from the various posters here (...ok, when they were on ****) But there's something I want to get off my chest....Thus a Confession Of a Fat Guy
Now what would I be confessing to?
Dave's really a cop? No.
Dave's gay? Curious maybe, but no.
Dave's really a woman? Not the last time I checked.
Dave really is a fat guy, and has been lying about loosing weight? Now that is closer to the target. It does involve lying.
Time for a quick recap. This time last year, I was around portly 260lbs, virgin and miserable. Around Thanksgiving I found my way into ****, and got my cherry popped by the amazonian blonde Brittney. That started something...And I don't mean my hobbying...Ok that too. I had a few other tumbles, with the lovely lady LaJolie, and amazing Amanda (just prior to her retiring) But it was the first frolic that changed things. I realized "life doesn't need to be like this," and that I wasn't happy with the person in the mirror. So over the months, I changed my activity level, diet, etc to address my physical issues, and sought help with my mental/emotional ones.
Since then I've gone from wearing a 260lber XXL shirts and 44 waist pants, to a 185lber in 34 jeans and M shirts. Outstanding isn't it?
Well where is the lie then? And it's a lie I use nearly every day, and honestly I feel bad using it. So what is it?
When people often talk to me about being amazed at my change they way "Loosing weight is really hard isn't it?" Here's the lie..."Yes, yes it is." No, no, it isn't hard....When you're damned well ready to do it. And I was ready. Some where in the later part of last year, the bell tolled and it signaled the time for me to change, and I have very seldom looked back. As extra motivation, I asked my doctor what weight he'd like to see me at (180lbs), and I swore to myself I would not hobby until I saw that weight. And the pounds just melted away...Until I hit 190, and I quickly leveled out at 185. Frustratingly, I've been stuck here for the better part of a month.
With that said, I look at where I am and what I can do, and I can't help but be amazed. Used to be I couldn't run a half a block, I can now do 5K, and am contemplating entering a 10k race next month. Not only do I run 5k, I do it at 4 in the morning, in under 30 minutes. I do not remember ever being this thin or physically capable.
But...While not as disgusted by who I see in the mirror, I still think of myself as a fat guy. I still see the dunlap gut (that can pass the pencil test), the jello like thighs, the wide arse and moobs that are bigger than some of the ladies'.
My sex drive is still out to lunch...Hell I barely masturbate once a week. It was the words of one person in chat that made me look at this differently though...Oddly enough, they came from HOF..."Right now sex isn't important to you."
I know there's more I wish to say, but I've gone blank on the subject.
I'm very tempted to go to the party this Thurs, but I'm still undecided as to whether I'll go, and whether I'll get a room so I can just stay the night. My shy side is wanting to give it a pass. But I see it as good exercise for my social skills. Though some persuasion wouldn't hurt (and I don't mean of the companion type...Though that would be nice).
Plus I would like to thank a lot of people on this forum, and on ****, for their support and encouragement, just too many to name...And once certainly lady for getting the ball rolling.
Thanks for your time,
Dave
Now what would I be confessing to?
Dave's really a cop? No.
Dave's gay? Curious maybe, but no.
Dave's really a woman? Not the last time I checked.
Dave really is a fat guy, and has been lying about loosing weight? Now that is closer to the target. It does involve lying.
Time for a quick recap. This time last year, I was around portly 260lbs, virgin and miserable. Around Thanksgiving I found my way into ****, and got my cherry popped by the amazonian blonde Brittney. That started something...And I don't mean my hobbying...Ok that too. I had a few other tumbles, with the lovely lady LaJolie, and amazing Amanda (just prior to her retiring) But it was the first frolic that changed things. I realized "life doesn't need to be like this," and that I wasn't happy with the person in the mirror. So over the months, I changed my activity level, diet, etc to address my physical issues, and sought help with my mental/emotional ones.
Since then I've gone from wearing a 260lber XXL shirts and 44 waist pants, to a 185lber in 34 jeans and M shirts. Outstanding isn't it?
Well where is the lie then? And it's a lie I use nearly every day, and honestly I feel bad using it. So what is it?
When people often talk to me about being amazed at my change they way "Loosing weight is really hard isn't it?" Here's the lie..."Yes, yes it is." No, no, it isn't hard....When you're damned well ready to do it. And I was ready. Some where in the later part of last year, the bell tolled and it signaled the time for me to change, and I have very seldom looked back. As extra motivation, I asked my doctor what weight he'd like to see me at (180lbs), and I swore to myself I would not hobby until I saw that weight. And the pounds just melted away...Until I hit 190, and I quickly leveled out at 185. Frustratingly, I've been stuck here for the better part of a month.
With that said, I look at where I am and what I can do, and I can't help but be amazed. Used to be I couldn't run a half a block, I can now do 5K, and am contemplating entering a 10k race next month. Not only do I run 5k, I do it at 4 in the morning, in under 30 minutes. I do not remember ever being this thin or physically capable.
But...While not as disgusted by who I see in the mirror, I still think of myself as a fat guy. I still see the dunlap gut (that can pass the pencil test), the jello like thighs, the wide arse and moobs that are bigger than some of the ladies'.
My sex drive is still out to lunch...Hell I barely masturbate once a week. It was the words of one person in chat that made me look at this differently though...Oddly enough, they came from HOF..."Right now sex isn't important to you."
I know there's more I wish to say, but I've gone blank on the subject.
I'm very tempted to go to the party this Thurs, but I'm still undecided as to whether I'll go, and whether I'll get a room so I can just stay the night. My shy side is wanting to give it a pass. But I see it as good exercise for my social skills. Though some persuasion wouldn't hurt (and I don't mean of the companion type...Though that would be nice).
Plus I would like to thank a lot of people on this forum, and on ****, for their support and encouragement, just too many to name...And once certainly lady for getting the ball rolling.
Thanks for your time,
Dave
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