RAWD said:
OK, so how can we (I) be a better friend to someone in depression? What can I do or say? I often find myself wanting to help, but at a complete loss for words.
Well for starters have a read of Depression Comix. It's pretty clear Clay has suffered from it as well, to be able to do comics that hit the nail on the head so well. As such it offers tremendous insight into what a depressed person feels like. Though as Maurice said above, unless you've been there, it can be hard to really comprehend.
To put it in an eggshell. Think of one of your worst days where you felt down in the dumps. Now imagine feeling like that day after day, with no light at the end of the tunnel.
But again, it's different for different people. Some their emotions are raw, they'll cry, rage, what ever at the most minimal provocation. Others will become withdrawn and lethargic.
From what I've read, depression is under diagnosed amongst men, because they're inclined to hide it more, and often become x-oholics. X being work, alcohol, drugs.
As for what you can do....Well, I'm kind of at a loss here too, as my family doesn't like to recognize it. You know out of sight out of mind. The best I can say off the top of my head is just be there for them, and be non-judgmental. They may seem logical and rational, be remember they're seeing the world through extremely distorted lenses.
When I started into group a couple of years ago, it was frightening because I didn't know what I was walking into; reassuring because suddenly you're with people who are in the same 'place' as you are and you don't feel so lonely; and I felt like a fraud because there were people in these groups who had committed themselves to the mental health units, who were on medical leaves from work because of it, etc. And here I am, more or less functional, holding down a job and able to interact to a degree with the world at large, what the hell was I doing there. (As it turned out, I'm inclined to a form of depression called dsythimia, a milder but long term from of depression)
When you take the above ramblings, and set it aside. Just be there for them, and let them know
you are there for them. RAWD, you come across as being a very empathic person, do what feels right. Sometimes they need a kick in the ass, other times a listening ear, or a shoulder to cry on. Just remember, depression does a fine job of making mountains out of molehills, and making white look like black.
