Distraught!!

[Maurice Boscorelli]

You are joking, right?. You do see the whole picture.....

I would say he does have a point here.

 

[RAWD]

BTW: why isn't barbara banned? She just called everyone, including the moderators, two timers and all of us assholes?????

Hard to argue with the truth, old boy.

 

[Knights Templar]

If Barbara continues to insult the members here she will be banned.

I hope Tboy is wrong about these spam texts. What if the dude was really just golfing. OUCH...

 

[a 1 player]

I can't wait until he comes home. He'll pay, seriously he will pay. I've already put his prized motorcycle outside in the rain but before I did I spray painted it and put sugar in the gas tank. His clothes have been thrown all over the front lawn and his laptop is on the deck enjoying the raindrops as they fall. ASSHOLE!!

At least I know he'll be crying when he is told how much alimony he's going to be paying, ASSHOLE!!!!

This is the part that really gets to me.

To a woman (Generally speaking), revenge always boils down to a dollar figure. Her feeling of entitlement to money she herself never earned, and never would have had without her money earning partner to begin with. Make no mistake, money is a medium of exchange that one acquires for their productive labor, plus time. In essence, she is asking for hours of his life and his productive capability. No one has a right to this except the person who does the labor, (and perhaps a victim if there is retrobution to be paid if a crime were committed). I don't need to hear any bullshit about women (or men) who choose to stay home, and that the job of housekeeping is every bit as valuable as that of a common worker, it is not. Any high school dropout can be a stay at home parent and clean a house, it takes brain power, ambition and drive to have a money earning career.

So your husband is having an affair, big freaking deal. Statistically it happens to at least 2/3's of us at some point or another. Either figure out what went wrong and work it out, or move on. To hold any person responsible and hostage for financial backing is the lowest of the low, the mark of a person who is not willing to take personal responsibility for their own well being or life. You Barbara have just lost any sympathy I had before.

ps, I'm not talking about a reasonable amount of child support here, that is a whole other issue.

 

[Jpncby]

I really don't get why anyone would ever deserve alimony... If someone feels that the other person held them back then maybe they shouldn't have been together. Relationship or not, you have to always do what is best for you first. For someone to get money for their lack of ambition seems unfair.

 

[Insertion]

The divorce laws in North America are very unfair and biased towards men. 50% of all equity accumulated during the marriage is all you should be entitled to Barb, sorry but I agree with the sediment that you are out of line. Marriages break up everyday, deal with it and move on.

 

[Barbara]

Gentlemen you have my sincere apology for calling all the married members assholes. I was angry and I needed to vent. If the mods need to ban me please do.

I have not allowed him back home. Yes he will be paying dearly for his affair. He earns approximately $600,000 a year and yes some of you are correct in stating I have been a live at home mom. I have raised 2 beautiful children and allowed him the freedom to follow and build his career. Now it's time to pay back and paying back he will be. I will apologize for the name calling BUT I WILL NOT apologize for claiming what I'm rightfully owed!!

 

[peace]

need a hug barbara?

 

[Auggie]

Gentlemen you have my sincere apology for calling all the married members assholes. I was angry and I needed to vent. If the mods need to ban me please do.

I have not allowed him back home. Yes he will be paying dearly for his affair. He earns approximately $600,000 a year and yes some of you are correct in stating I have been a live at home mom. I have raised 2 beautiful children and allowed him the freedom to follow and build his career. Now it's time to pay back and paying back he will be. I will apologize for the name calling BUT I WILL NOT apologize for claiming what I'm rightfully owed!!

We're here for you to vent, Barbara. :he:

I agree that you're entitled to money for creating a home and raising a family - you're part of his success.

Take care of yourself.

 

[tboy]

Funny thing is, they were separated already so technically, he wasn't having an affair.

You're not allowing him back into the house he paid for? Hmmm doesn't that sound a little hypocritical? Why do you feel that you have the right to bar him from home? If you're that pissed off and hurt, why wouldn't YOU leave?

I don't know that she's been a part of his success....if that were true then would she also be part of his failure? If he lost his job and couldn't get another would she stand on a street corner and blow truckers to pay the mortgage?

Allowed him the freedom to follow and build his career? How? By raising the kids? He didn't have any part of that? I doubt that.....I should think that HE allowed YOU the freedom to be a stay at home mom and raise the kids. Otherwise, you'd have been forced to go out and get a job yourself. I bet that if he didn't have a wife and kids he'd still be earning the same amount. I'm not saying he didn't benefit from having a wife at home. But that is the ONLY part that should be considered when alimony is being considered.

The absolute WORST thing a guy can do is have a stay at home mom for a wife. That is the deathknell for him if they should part ways. If she had a job she'd only be (morally) entitled to the difference between her take home and half his take home. Now, the courts will give her probably half his earnings. I feel alimony should be calculated based on the career path the wife was embarking on before the marriage. For eg: did she graduate highschool? college? did she even have a full time job? Was it something like a receptionist?

Something to consider is the life she would have had had she not gotten married....

One thing we ALL have to consider here: we're only getting one side of the story. Who knows? She could have gained 200 lbs, stopped having sex with him 6 yrs ago, and anytime he comes near her she pushes him away with disdain.......

I have to wonder: if a guy came on here saying he found out his wife was having an affair and he vandalized her car, threw all her clothes on the lawn and peed on all her shoes would we still be giving him our support? I bring this up because of that song about slashing the tires on his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive, carved her name into his leather seats......I couldn't help but think how many womens groups would be up in arms if a song was written like that about a man doing that to a woman........

 

[Al Bumin]

Funny thing is, they were separated already so technically, he wasn't having an affair.

You're not allowing him back into the house he paid for? Hmmm doesn't that sound a little hypocritical? Why do you feel that you have the right to bar him from home? If you're that pissed off and hurt, why wouldn't YOU leave?

I don't know that she's been a part of his success....if that were true then would she also be part of his failure? If he lost his job and couldn't get another would she stand on a street corner and blow truckers to pay the mortgage?

Allowed him the freedom to follow and build his career? How? By raising the kids? He didn't have any part of that? I doubt that.....I should think that HE allowed YOU the freedom to be a stay at home mom and raise the kids. Otherwise, you'd have been forced to go out and get a job yourself. I bet that if he didn't have a wife and kids he'd still be earning the same amount. I'm not saying he didn't benefit from having a wife at home. But that is the ONLY part that should be considered when alimony is being considered.

The absolute WORST thing a guy can do is have a stay at home mom for a wife. That is the deathknell for him if they should part ways. If she had a job she'd only be (morally) entitled to the difference between her take home and half his take home. Now, the courts will give her probably half his earnings. I feel alimony should be calculated based on the career path the wife was embarking on before the marriage. For eg: did she graduate highschool? college? did she even have a full time job? Was it something like a receptionist?

Something to consider is the life she would have had had she not gotten married....

One thing we ALL have to consider here: we're only getting one side of the story. Who knows? She could have gained 200 lbs, stopped having sex with him 6 yrs ago, and anytime he comes near her she pushes him away with disdain.......

I have to wonder: if a guy came on here saying he found out his wife was having an affair and he vandalized her car, threw all her clothes on the lawn and peed on all her shoes would we still be giving him our support? I bring this up because of that song about slashing the tires on his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive, carved her name into his leather seats......I couldn't help but think how many womens groups would be up in arms if a song was written like that about a man doing that to a woman........

You are the same guy who had a good time trying to convince most when the Japs had their sad day that you are not racist. Go ahead and bring your quotes up and then your American friend Maurice can also kiss your ass while at it. Man nothing against you both but time to give it a rest.

 

[tboy]

You are the same guy who had a good time trying to convince most when the Japs had their sad day that you are not racist. Go ahead and bring your quotes up and then your American friend Maurice can also kiss your ass while at it. Man nothing against you both but time to give it a rest.

what the fuck are you talking about willis? What the hell does the financial state of japan have to do with this thread?

Speaking of giving it a rest.....look in the mirror next time you say those words.....

 

[Maurice Boscorelli]

You are the same guy who had a good time trying to convince most when the Japs had their sad day that you are not racist. Go ahead and bring your quotes up and then your American friend Maurice can also kiss your ass while at it. Man nothing against you both but time to give it a rest.

Interesting that you had to bring up the American angle in your little diatribe. You sound a wee bit bitter there dude.

 

[Maurice Boscorelli]

I have not allowed him back home. Yes he will be paying dearly for his affair. He earns approximately $600,000 a year and yes some of you are correct in stating I have been a live at home mom. I have raised 2 beautiful children and allowed him the freedom to follow and build his career. Now it's time to pay back and paying back he will be. I will apologize for the name calling BUT I WILL NOT apologize for claiming what I'm rightfully owed!!

According to your own words

Thanks all for the welcome and your help as well and the many messages in my in box. I would like to keep low key for now and trying to understand this underworld site. My husband is one of your members, separated for now and trying to work things out.

Like as has been stated if you were separated then he can't be having an affair now can he.

 

[Art Mann]

Gentlemen you have my sincere apology for calling all the married members assholes. I was angry and I needed to vent. ... I will apologize for the name calling ...

Apology is a lovely perfume, Barbara; it can transform the clumsiest moment into a gracious gift.

You are obviously an intelligent woman able to respond logically to counterpoint views despite your emotional distress. I've always told my son it's child's play to throw verbal stones but it takes a man to apologize. Clearly you have more balls than most men, venturing into this locker room and not only holding your own amongst the jocks, but doing so with dignity.

More people should apologize, and more people should accept apologies when sincerely made.

... BUT I WILL NOT apologize for claiming what I'm rightfully owed!!

Frankly I don't think this is any of our damn business and don't see why you would even need to consider our feelings or opinions on this issue.

 

[Iambad]

what the fuck are you talking about willis? What the hell does the financial state of japan have to do with this thread?

Speaking of giving it a rest.....look in the mirror next time you say those words.....

Mirror looking at you dude. I cannot fault you much lately but you do have a reputation of being too much the pro I am right and the world is wrong kind of type. Shit I was like that for a long time but learned the hard way.

Interesting that you had to bring up the American angle in your little diatribe. You sound a wee bit bitter there dude.

I don't see any sign of that unless one is an American.

 

[Iambad]

According to your own words

Like as has been stated if you were separated then he can't be having an affair now can he.

WTF are you trying to reason with a woman with a broken heart. Thought you are smarter than that. Christ this is a review site but there is a fuckng confused soul out there. You have no pity or were you burned too many times that you lost your soul?

 

[Maurice Boscorelli]

WTF are you trying to reason with a woman with a broken heart. Thought you are smarter than that. Christ this is a review site but there is a fuckng confused soul out there. You have no pity or were you burned too many times that you lost your soul?

Go through a few divorces and break ups and you will understand that there is always another side to the story. I just don't look at things through rose coloured glasses anymore thank you.

 

[tboy]

Mirror looking at you dude. I cannot fault you much lately but you do have a reputation of being too much the pro I am right and the world is wrong kind of type. Shit I was like that for a long time but learned the hard way.



I don't see any sign of that unless one is an American.

You sire are incorrect. I don't and have never said the 'world is wrong', I say "some are wrong". In most cases there are always one or two who agree with me publically and that many who agree with me in private. Just because some see my viewpoints as wrong, doesn't make them wrong.....

You see, I don't simply agree with the general consensus just because they are the general consensus. I review a post, comment, idea or event and make my own decisions/opinions. I was raised to think for myself and when the situation calls for it, voice those thoughts.

Take this thread for eg: there are some who are crawling around upside the op's arse taking everything she says verbatim. I on the other hand, see that there is another side to the story we're not hearing.

 

[SillyGirl]

Barbara...I completely understand how angry/upset/hurt you are. But if you are actually going to go through a divorce, my advice to you is to stop acting on your emotions. Things like burning his clothes will be used to make you look like a crazy bitch in court, and that won't be helpful to you.

Every single move you make should be carefully thought out with an eye toward how it will look to the judge, especially if there is any chance of a custody battle. And please, no matter how tempted you are, please please please don't use your children as a weapon to hurt your ex...no good can come from that. He will always be your co-parent, and it is very bad for children if the adults aren't acting like adults.

As far as alimony goes, it is easier for a guy to be a rock star at work if there is someone at home taking care of the rest of his life. When I got divorced I told my lawyer I didn't want anything that would be considered unreasonable...we went through a "cooperative divorce" process designed to keep things out of court. My biggest concern was to keep things civil for the sake of our son...I was so damn civil my lawyer told me several times that I was being too nice. If I had wanted to fight I probably could've taken him for another six figures, but the money didn't seem worth the stress on the kid and the irreparable damage it would have caused to my relationship with my ex.