Have you ever been caught cheating?.

[RAWD]

The worst feeling is that nagging doubt of wondering if you did your best.

If you are ready to end it, you would know. You would be at peace. Heck, you'd feel good about it.

That's not just a place you have to get to. It's a journey you have to travel in your own mind and heart.

 

[Bubba]

Getting caught in the act.

Getting caught in the act.

Bored and curious again. Anyone wants to share their experience when you got caught cheating of your partner. What did you do or say. Or have you ever caught your partner cheating on you?.

 

[Chunky]

If you're married you should be cheating!:whip:

 

[Cycleguy007]

 

[Paranoid Phantom]

If you're married you should be cheating!:whip:

Only after the second year :intello:.

 

[Totaldenial]

Bored and curious again. Anyone wants to share their experience when you got caught cheating of your partner. What did you do or say. Or have you ever caught your partner cheating on you?.

If you ever get caught. Read my handle .

 

[Herbie]

What would you do if you catch her with another woman :intello:.

 

[jumpingjackflash]

What would you do if you catch her with another woman :intello:.

You join in or even better call me.

 

[Butch]

Never been caught. I hide it well :no:.

 

[Tourist]

If you ever get caught. Read my handle .

Totally agree
+1

 

[zigzaw joker]

been found doing the lap dance thing while chatting on "Canbest",.. wasn't pretty, almost cost me everything ... laid low for 10 weeks ..then slowly began to return to my old ways,.. that was 10 years ago ... i'm more careful now, especially since MP's and SP's are in the mix now.. if i'm discovered again ...there will be no reprieve, i'll go directly to jail, i will not collect $200 going past go.. no "get out of jail free " cards this time around ..... and i'll need to modify my "Freedon 55 plan" .. instead of me being 55 when i retire... my kids will be 55 when i'm able to retire

 

[estaban]

One directional sex

One directional sex

I've been plucking up the courage to start talking about sex as apposed to internalising it and feeling caged and over sexed

Basically I've been married a 6 years now and I've come to point where I feel inhibited by my marriage. First of all sex was great and frequent but as time has gone on, it seems to have reached stagnation. I have tried various things to spice things up, and to be honest, to no real avail . I'll list a few symtoms to give an idea of the situation:

Sex one directional: from me to her never the other other way round (sometimes it would be nice not being the driver)
She doesn't instigate, If I don't instigate sex, it'll not happen (i've tested this)
I've tried introducing a sex toy - she not interested (it doesn't feel right??)
She won't mas****ate herself, in my presence or not
Porn is not her thing
When I try talk about it, conversation dies and her only response is "Ok, it's me, I'm the one with problem! Issue closed"
I've tired to introduce tantric sex
I feel sex is simply for making babies (in her view- now that she wants one)

About me:

I love sex and have a high sex drive - I think the national average in terms of frequency would suit me just fine...
I've had an affair before, probably to get a sex life (We've talked it through and are over it - I felt terrible about being deceitful though). This boosted the sex life, but only in the short term...
I feel it would be a huge mistake in my life to leave the relationship (but I'm beggining to think it might be better than cooped up sexual desire)
I'm fed up with having to satisfy my sex life with porn and masturbation (somehow I feel it's kind of cheating, counter-productive and makes me feel deceitful)
I'm begining to think of having a marriage in name and seeking pleasure elsewhere (but this seems wrong).
I feel a need to explore sex and this marriage is in the way - of course, without question I want her to be on the same page and to join me if it's not going to happen within our marriage...

What do I do? I'm really scraping the barrel for a solution, or at least some direction...

I have always had a suspicion that she's repressing lesbian tendancies and this may be the cause...?? She insists not, as she has had a lesbian encounter before, her previous best friend is lesbian.

I have considerred bringing a third person into the situation to help remove some barriers, but she's not going to let that happen, I've tried...

 

[Danolo]

Like the song says...

"Make a new plan, Stan, and set yourself free..."

 

[peace]

Estaban,
Although I havent experienced marriage but your situation reminded me of my ex -girlfriend of 4 years. lesbain tendancies or not, you will begin to repress your own sexual feelings in order to survive the relationship. Unless you are secretly masturbating and watching porn everyday, this is a potential BIG mistake as it took me awhile to overcome my own repressed sexual feelings when the relationship was over. However, I finally got it back and enjoy hugging even more. Actually it came back quickly when I met a beautiful ASIAN woman......

ps. if you choose to have an affair, then you wont worry about being sexually repressed. Instead you carry a big guilt....

pss. Many people often view marriage as a life time commitmment....so if your wife wont change, think about another 30 yrs of one sided dimensional sex....YIKES!!!!!!!!! Actually this might be a good thing....it helps porn to stay in business while strengthening the muscles in your left or right hand...

 

[SneakySnake]

Find a new wife :neutral:.

 

[tboy]

How many times have we heard this song?

Dude, every married guy on here (ok, well most) have walked in your shoes. Hell, there was a guy on another site who was singing that song after 3 weeks lol.

"Ok, it's me, I'm the one with problem! Issue closed"

SOrry, if she was my partner the first words out of my mouth would be: sorry, case is NOT closed. Not until we start to seek professional help.

Now I will ask you this: how often do you want it?

Another thing you have to realize: men and women view sex in different ways. Many (most?) women see sex as a way to "get" a guy and once gotten, then they figure why? Unbeknownst to them, if they use sex to GET a guy, they have to use sex to KEEP the guy.

How is the rest of the relationship? Are there kids involved? Is she your best friend? Do you have open and honest communication on other topics? and most importantly: Can you live without her?

I see any relationship is a 3 way situation; You have intellectual compatibility, you have emotional compatibility and you have physical compatibility. For any relationship to work you have to have at least 2 very strong parts to make up for the lack of a 3rd. If you're not in sync emotionally (madly in love with each other for eg) and you can't talk to her about things that interest you, then dude, time to get out now while you still can.

If you have two really strong points, everything is perfect except for the sex part, then see escorts. If the subject ever comes up again say: I want all these things with YOU, if you don't want them with me then what do you want ME to do?

BTW: sex therapy can help her overcome her hangups in regards to sex. Now if you're talking ball gags and playing pony boy, that's a little different but if you just want a healthy sex life, then that's not too much to ask.....

 

[Auggie]

Is she a good cook?

If not, kick her to the curb.

 

[Doggie]

Is she a good cook?

If not, kick her to the curb.

LMAO I gotta agree with Auggie

 

[Jesus Quintana]

One directional? Are you into pegging or something?

 

[GenevieveLajoie]

A few things:

Many women do not get "into it" the same way that most men do (we're generalizing here, so obviously, there are quite a few exceptions to this generalization): men tend to get horny, and therefore want sex. For many women, it almost goes the other way: hornyness comes from being stimulated. So, for many women, initiating sex out of the blue goes against the way their body is wired.

I've read a good advice recently on this topic (I think it may be from Dan Savage, but I'm not sure): keeping in mind that your wife may well be wired to start feeling horny and wanting sex after her body has already been stimulated (kissing, fondling, dirty or romantic word whispered to her ear, snuggling, massages, etc.), you could try adding more make-out session into your daily life. Think first base only. She most likely feel pressured about the sex issue in your marriage. To take this pressure off (which can't be good for her libido), the idea is to add intimacy into your marriage, but without the expectation that it has to lead to anything past first base. Let her take the lead to move on to second and third base.

Women's (and men's) libido go through cycle, and hormones have a lot to do with it. Sometimes, a lack of libido can be due to hormonal imbalance, or to mental illness (particularly depression). If you think that there may be a medical reason for her lack of interest in sex, you should suggest that she sees her doctor to make sure that everything is in order with her. Medication - if she takes any - also often has a detrimental effect on libido.

You say that she sees sex only as a way to make babies now that she wants one: I assume it means that you don't already have children? Of course, children, especially young ones will take a lot of energy out of their parents, especially their mother, which can be a reason why a woman is not interested in sex. But if this is not a problem yet, you can bet that your sex life is not going to improve once you do have a kid. So, if I were you, I would think hard and long before starting to make kids with someone who after only 6 years you already feel "caged in" with. Kids have this uncanny ability of complicating stuff a lot.

Finally, if you have already tried everything you can think of, if there is no medical issue explaining your wife's lack of desire for sex, and if she refuses couple counselling (I would recommend couple sex therapy rather than conventional couple counselling) and shuts down any attempt at conversation to deal with your issue, here's another way to approach the issue with her:

You could suggest that she gives you permission to discreetly go get your needs met somewhere else. Since she is not interested in sex anymore, and since sex is not an important aspect of her relationship with you anymore, there is no reason why she shouldn't let you engage with someone else in this activity that doesn't even interest her. You agree to be discreet, to have your priorities straight (wife and family always come first, you don't take time/money/resource away from your family to get your dick wet, you play safe, you get tested regularly, etc.), and she agrees to turn a blind eye.

Basically, the idea is to confront her with a choice, or with the implication of her choice: she can of course unilaterally decide that she doesn't want sex to be a significant part of her life anymore. But she can't reasonably expect and unilaterally decides that you will go without sex for the rest of your life because she isn't interested in it anymore. So, either she works with you to bring sex back into your marriage, or she lets you get it somewhere else.

Of course, there's also divorce.