- Thread starter justme74
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Yeah, gen gets right to it as usual.
The only thing I say is: if you have a hockey helmet wear it when you talk to her about "going elsewhere" lol....seriously. Now she may be one of the .0001% who would agree to this, but more than likely things are going to get thrown. Oh yeah, wear a cup if you have one.....
Not to stereotype, and gen is one of the few ladies I've met who do think logically, but the vast majority react first, then think about it later. I have heard of 1 (maybe 2) guys in 40 yrs who have their wife's permission to seek sex outisde of a sexless marriage. Maybe gen has heard of more? (but I would hazard to say that any man who told her this has reason to lie...).
It's not like playing hockey, or football, or hunting. Where you can go have at it even if your wife doesn't.
The statement that really gets me (and I admit we are only hearing one side of the conversation) is the "it's my problem, issue closed". If that was really her reaction to you trying to talk to her about it then I have a feeling the issue goes far deeper than just lack of sex.
The only thing I say is: if you have a hockey helmet wear it when you talk to her about "going elsewhere" lol....seriously. Now she may be one of the .0001% who would agree to this, but more than likely things are going to get thrown. Oh yeah, wear a cup if you have one.....
Not to stereotype, and gen is one of the few ladies I've met who do think logically, but the vast majority react first, then think about it later. I have heard of 1 (maybe 2) guys in 40 yrs who have their wife's permission to seek sex outisde of a sexless marriage. Maybe gen has heard of more? (but I would hazard to say that any man who told her this has reason to lie...).
It's not like playing hockey, or football, or hunting. Where you can go have at it even if your wife doesn't.
The statement that really gets me (and I admit we are only hearing one side of the conversation) is the "it's my problem, issue closed". If that was really her reaction to you trying to talk to her about it then I have a feeling the issue goes far deeper than just lack of sex.
GenevieveLajoie said:
You can't see escorts without paying thousands of dollars a year. Wouldn't this come from the family's resources?
I very much doubt she'd agree to it but you're right to suggest a lot of good solutions and some possible reasons for her thinking.
GenevieveLajoie
Well-known member
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Well, this is something for a couple to discuss and decide. The idea is that you shouldn't put money on escorts (or a mistress) before making sure that your family is fed, clothed, that the bills are paid, etc. Like you shouldn't put money on golf unless your other financial obligations are met.Auggie said:
He may be surprised. Most people in a similar situation cheat without even trying to have a conversation with their SO about redefining the expectations and boundaries of their marriage, assuming that their SO will not agree to it. But if you are going to cheat anyway, why not start by trying to come to an agreement with your SO?Auggie said:
I also think that the key here is to confront your partner with the implications of their choice. If someone is not interested in sex anymore, and don't consider it a significant part of their relationship, then it makes no sense to simultaneously tell your partner that sex is such an intimate activity that they shouldn't have it with someone else. Either sex is important, or it's not. It cannot be both at the same time.
Monogamy also comes with the responsability to meet the needs of your partner, within reasonable limits. One can't demand monogamy, and refuse sex to their partner. That's cheating your partner on the agreement you made when demanding monogamy.
So, indeed, her partner may well refuse to turn a blind eye on him getting his dick wet somewhere else. But then he's just back to the same place, facing the same choices: in a sex-less marriage, with the option of going without sex for the rest of his life, getting some behind her back, or divorcing.
B
blissful
Guest
Here is my 2 cents. Gene is right in all she says.
You need to decide what you want.
From my experience if you do a 3some some partners are ok at first but then issues occurs.
Everybody thinks it easy, just have one but then the reality hits you as you or your mate watches you, start question the marriage and what you think of sex.
Take your time, once things happen you can not turn back the clock. If sex is major part of your marriage then divorce. If your friendship and love is then you will work through it.
Women get sexually turned on by the things you do for them, surprises, romance. Yes it is work. I understand her not asking. I stop asking when I kept hearing No all the time I did ask. So you maybe rejecting her without realizing it.
Also some women don't have that sexual wanton feeling and you should have married an escort.
You need to decide what you want.
From my experience if you do a 3some some partners are ok at first but then issues occurs.
Everybody thinks it easy, just have one but then the reality hits you as you or your mate watches you, start question the marriage and what you think of sex.
Take your time, once things happen you can not turn back the clock. If sex is major part of your marriage then divorce. If your friendship and love is then you will work through it.
Women get sexually turned on by the things you do for them, surprises, romance. Yes it is work. I understand her not asking. I stop asking when I kept hearing No all the time I did ask. So you maybe rejecting her without realizing it.
Also some women don't have that sexual wanton feeling and you should have married an escort.
Ummm bliss? Why are you talking about 3somes?
Gen: the only drawback with broaching the subject of getting it elsewhere is the ramifications of just bringing the topic up. I can't imagine any woman taking that well and if he's truly trying to save the marriage, that could be the end of it right there.
I missed the part in the OP about her not even playing with herself. That's a sure indication of some deep rooted sexual hangups so it isn't just estaban, it's her attitude towards sex in general.
Once again, even more so now, I think seeking a sex therapist is the next step.
Gen: the only drawback with broaching the subject of getting it elsewhere is the ramifications of just bringing the topic up. I can't imagine any woman taking that well and if he's truly trying to save the marriage, that could be the end of it right there.
I missed the part in the OP about her not even playing with herself. That's a sure indication of some deep rooted sexual hangups so it isn't just estaban, it's her attitude towards sex in general.
Once again, even more so now, I think seeking a sex therapist is the next step.
Maurice Boscorelli
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Amigo listen here.
I was in the same boat as you 20 years ago.
The problem was that she didn't really recognize that we had a problem.
We divorced remained friendly and she got a new fella.
One day her and I were talking because she was a member at this club I was running and she told me how much her sex drive had increased and how she was having great sex with the new guy. WTF?
What I had to come to terms with was that somewhere along the line the spark had died in her for me.
On a emotional level she no longer had any sexual desire for me and once a woman shuts down emotionally that's all she wrote.
Some years later I ran into her BF now husband in a mall. We started talking and then after a few minutes he asked me how my sex life was with my ex now his wife. I asked him why and he replied that theirs started out great but then just died as she showed no interest anymore.
I just smiled and told him that made my day.
Moral of the story is that some people are just a certain way and no matter how much you try nothing is going to change them.
I was in the same boat as you 20 years ago.
The problem was that she didn't really recognize that we had a problem.
We divorced remained friendly and she got a new fella.
One day her and I were talking because she was a member at this club I was running and she told me how much her sex drive had increased and how she was having great sex with the new guy. WTF?
What I had to come to terms with was that somewhere along the line the spark had died in her for me.
On a emotional level she no longer had any sexual desire for me and once a woman shuts down emotionally that's all she wrote.
Some years later I ran into her BF now husband in a mall. We started talking and then after a few minutes he asked me how my sex life was with my ex now his wife. I asked him why and he replied that theirs started out great but then just died as she showed no interest anymore.
I just smiled and told him that made my day.
Moral of the story is that some people are just a certain way and no matter how much you try nothing is going to change them.
^^^ just one more example of how women (for the most part) use sex to get love, and men just love sex.
I have not had a relationship, nor heard of any of my friend's relationships, whose wives or gfs didn't lose their sex drive after a couple of years. Some as little as a few months.
There's that old joke: 2 minutes after saying I do, she thinks "I don't" anymore......most jokes have a background in truth.
I have not had a relationship, nor heard of any of my friend's relationships, whose wives or gfs didn't lose their sex drive after a couple of years. Some as little as a few months.
There's that old joke: 2 minutes after saying I do, she thinks "I don't" anymore......most jokes have a background in truth.
I forget which movie it was in but there was a subplot where a guy's father was getting married for the 6th time. It was his wedding day and his wife to be was in one limo with her lawyer and he was in his.
The lawyer was negotiating how many times a week she had to give him a blow job, he wanted 4 and she said only 2......
I seem to remember something in the news last year about a woman fighting a pre-nupt and one of the points was how often the husband wanted sex. I seem to remember the judge throwing it out.
The lawyer was negotiating how many times a week she had to give him a blow job, he wanted 4 and she said only 2......
I seem to remember something in the news last year about a woman fighting a pre-nupt and one of the points was how often the husband wanted sex. I seem to remember the judge throwing it out.
Have you ever been caught cheating?.
How did she/he found out. Did your partner seek revenge?
This one tops them all LOL.
Best fan sign of the year: Packers fan uses game tickets to get back at cheating ex
The Packers are the heart and soul of Green Bay. Fans own "stock" in the team, and season tickets are a valuable commodity. That made tickets to the Christmas night game with archrival Chicago either the best gift a fan could find under the tree, or (if her sign is to be believed) a perfect way to get back at a cheating boyfriend.
Well played, Packer fan. For your use of tickets to get back at the ex and a clearly-written sign that let fans across the country know you were smart enough to move on, you win the Shutdown Corner sign of the year.
https://ca.sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blo...he-year-Packers-fan-uses-game?urn=nfl-wp14705
How did she/he found out. Did your partner seek revenge?
This one tops them all LOL.
Best fan sign of the year: Packers fan uses game tickets to get back at cheating ex
The Packers are the heart and soul of Green Bay. Fans own "stock" in the team, and season tickets are a valuable commodity. That made tickets to the Christmas night game with archrival Chicago either the best gift a fan could find under the tree, or (if her sign is to be believed) a perfect way to get back at a cheating boyfriend.
Well played, Packer fan. For your use of tickets to get back at the ex and a clearly-written sign that let fans across the country know you were smart enough to move on, you win the Shutdown Corner sign of the year.
https://ca.sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blo...he-year-Packers-fan-uses-game?urn=nfl-wp14705
a 1 player
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Hell yeah.
J
Jesus Quintana
Guest
In flagrante delicto no less.
The pictures weren't that flattering.
The pictures weren't that flattering.
Pullmyfinger
Senior Member
- Joined
- May 21, 2011
- Messages
- 1,081
How did she/he found out. Did your partner seek revenge?
This one tops them all LOL.
Best fan sign of the year: Packers fan uses game tickets to get back at cheating ex
The Packers are the heart and soul of Green Bay. Fans own "stock" in the team, and season tickets are a valuable commodity. That made tickets to the Christmas night game with archrival Chicago either the best gift a fan could find under the tree, or (if her sign is to be believed) a perfect way to get back at a cheating boyfriend.
Well played, Packer fan. For your use of tickets to get back at the ex and a clearly-written sign that let fans across the country know you were smart enough to move on, you win the Shutdown Corner sign of the year.
https://ca.sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blo...he-year-Packers-fan-uses-game?urn=nfl-wp14705
She should have written his name down. Now that is sweet revenge.
H
HOF
Guest
That's a great shot. Yes, she is cute but she's a cheesehead and probably smells like cheese!
No, I've never been caught cheating because I have never cheated.
No, I've never been caught cheating because I have never cheated.
H
HOF
Guest
You know why this guy cheated? The cow couldn't spell bastard properly. Oh cow means something different in the UK.
H
HOF
Guest
Can you blame her?
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