HOW TO ESCAPE FROM DEADLY ANIMAL ATTACKS. There is no defense. Let freedom ring

[God]

I just couldn't help myself.

Animals are, quite literally, the living treasures of our planet. Except when they're trying to kill you.

 

[Brick]

Hmmmmmm

 

[Boing]

Guns....you need big guns. Really big guns!

Holy your shit.

 

[Wise Guy]

God you are cruel.

 

[Louis XIV]

It's a dangerous world out there. I was once viciously attacked by this horrifying creature. It latched on to my baby toe, and kept making mad grabs for my nads with it's tiny claws and razor-like fangs. The only way to free myself was to pelt it with Skittles and bacon bits until it let go.

When it was over, I felt like this...

This little sucker is apparently primarily of ill temper, and in its natural habitat, spends extended periods of every day verbally attacking and belittling other innocent jungle dwellers, as evidenced by these rare photos taken of the creature in the wilds of Borneo. The creature is of exceptional intelligence, but apparently is easily moved to aggression, with little patience for knuckle draggers or trolls. Its witty barbs can be very difficult to repel, and can leave significant scars if not addressed appropriately, as they have a way of working their way deeper and deeper under the victim's skin until you just want to give up on life and talk about bacon ALL THE TIME!

 

[papasmerf]

Ummmmmmmmmmmmm Bacon

 

[Wanker]

You mean how to escape from your partner EACE:

 

[Wanker]

[h=1]‘It was heading straight for the kids’: Helicopter crew forced to swoop in on group of young surfers and warn them that a huge Great White is swimming just metres away[/h]

• A news crew helicopter spots a huge shark just metres away from surfers
• A journalist warns the surfers that a giant great white shark is approaching
• The shark was spotted from the air off Wategos Beach in northern NSW
• The sighting prompted swimmers and surfers to evacuate the water
• Helicopters and jetskis spotted the fish past the lighthouse at Cape Byron
• The sighting comes just days after two men were attacked by a shark

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ar...ing-boards-NO-IDEA-close-NSW-north-coast.html

 

[HOOKED]

It's a dangerous world out there. I was once viciously attacked by this horrifying creature. It latched on to my baby toe, and kept making mad grabs for my nads with it's tiny claws and razor-like fangs. The only way to free myself was to pelt it with Skittles and bacon bits until it let go.

When it was over, I felt like this...

This little sucker is apparently primarily of ill temper, and in its natural habitat, spends extended periods of every day verbally attacking and belittling other innocent jungle dwellers, as evidenced by these rare photos taken of the creature in the wilds of Borneo. The creature is of exceptional intelligence, but apparently is easily moved to aggression, with little patience for knuckle draggers or trolls. Its witty barbs can be very difficult to repel, and can leave significant scars if not addressed appropriately, as they have a way of working their way deeper and deeper under the victim's skin until you just want to give up on life and talk about bacon ALL THE TIME!

He is homeless at this point and time because HK & MM Corporation had to let him go. He is your responsibility now and I feel sorry for you!

 

[papasmerf]

He is homeless at this point and time because HK & MM Corporation had to let him go. He is your responsibility now and I feel sorry for you!

You are fired!

 

[HOOKED]

You are fired!

You can't fire me, YOU are just like Donald Trump right now. You've been fired from your show and you have NOTHING!

 

[papasmerf]

You can't fire me, YOU are just like Donald Trump right now. You've been fired from your show and you have NOTHING!

Unlike Donald I can fire you. However if you would like to re-apply for a position.
I am sure we can find something suitable to your skill level.

It occurs to me that whinnyspicyimmitationchocolate needs a wing man.

 

[Blank_Dave]

So much for king of the skies.