Made with Love
Toronto Passions
SPDir

JOKES / FUNNY STUFF THAT MAKES YOU LAUGH.

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When? I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big tits.

When I was 16, I got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.


In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency. She was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.


When I was 25, I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything.? Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.


When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad, impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.

When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

I am older and wiser now, and I am looking for a girl with big tits
 
Funny-7.png
 
The wife came home early and found her
husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.

And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig' she cried.
'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife,
the mother of your children!
I'm leaving you .. I want a
divorce right away!'

And the husband replied,
'Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened.'
'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'

And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young
lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so
down and out and defenseless that I took
pity on her and let her into the car..

I noticed that she was very thin, not well
dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.

So, in my compassion, I brought her home
and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you
last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor
thing devoured them in moments.

Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested
a shower, and while she was doing that, I
noticed her clothes were dirty and full of
holes, so I threw them away

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her
the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say theyare too tight.

I also gave her the underwear that was
your anniversary present, which you don't
wear because I don't have good taste.

I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you
for Christmas that you don't wear just to
annoy her, and I also donated those boots
you bought at the expensive boutique and
don't wear because someone at work has
a pair the same.'

The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understandingand help that as I walked her to the door,she turned to me with tears in her eyesand said,
























































'Please .....Do you have anything else that
your wife doesn't use?
 
  1. Children in the dark cause accidents, accidents in the dark cause children.
  2. Depression is just anger without enthusiasm.
  3. I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
  4. Just remember, if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.
  5. Who’s General Failure & why is he reading my disk?
  6. Tennis is a fickle sport. No matter how good you are at it, a wall will always be better.
  7. Yo momma’s so fat, she walked past the TV and i missed the first season of Lost.
  8. If your name was homework, I would be doing you on my desk right now.
  9. He’s so far in the closet he’s in Narnia.
  10. Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you’ll be a mile away, and have his shoes.
  11. I still miss my ex-girlfriend, but my aim is improving.
  12. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
  13. The noblest of dogs is the hot dog, it feeds the hand that bites it.
  14. I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.
  15. When I said ‘death’ before ‘dishonor’, I meant alphabetically.
  16. Putting the laughter back into manslaughter.
  17. When shooting a mime, don’t use a silencer or his friends will hear you.
  18. Hurricanes are like women : when they come, they’re wet and wild, but when they leave they take your house and car.
  19. The reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
  20. Why do we call them buildings when they’re finished? Shouldn’t they be called Builts?
  21. When life gives you lemons, cut them in half and squirt life in the eye!
  22. Screw me if I’m wrong, but have we met before?
  23. Always remember that you are unique; just like everyone else.
  24. Indecision is the key to flexibility.
  25. You’re about as useful as a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest.
  26. A little necrophilia never killed anyone.
  27. Dyslexics Of The World Untie.
  28. I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
  29. If a wolf can take down a deer from either flank, does that make him bambidextrous?
  30. I went too a restaurant that served breakfast at anytime, so i ordered french toast during the renaissance.
  31. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
  32. What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.
  33. If you smacked a kid in the face with a bottle of Johnson’s No More Tears, would it create beautiful irony?
  34. Imagine there were no hypothetical situations.
  35. The Vending Machine Theory : “Stuff tastes better when it falls”.
  36. The most effective copyright protection known to man : a scratched CD.
  37. A jump-leads walks into a bar, acting aggressively. The barman says “All right, I’ll serve you. But don’t start anything.”
  38. This girl rang me up one time, she says “come over, nobody is home”, I went over, no one was home!
  39. I told the butcher I’d give him $10 if he got the meat down off the top shelf. He said he couldn’t. The steaks were too high.
  40. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
  41. I don’t find it hard to meet expenses. They’re everywhere.
  42. Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.
  43. Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin – it’s the triumphant twang of a bed spring.
  44. I am going to call my kids Ctrl, Alt and Delete. Then if they muck up I will just hit them all at once.
  45. I got cold hard cash for Christmas. Five bucks frozen in a block of ice.
  46. Being dyslexic has drawbacks. I once went to a toga party dressed as a goat.
  47. Without me, it’s just awesome.
  48. He who laughs last probably does not get the joke.
  49. I miss you like a idiot misses the point.
  50. Don’t steal. The government hates competition.
  51. You know you have a small apartment when Coco Pops echo.
  52. Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
  53. Why is the place you drive on is a parkway, and the place you park on is the driveway?
  54. It appears the location of my fist and your head are not mutually exclusive! It is a probability miracle!
  55. Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
  56. Coffee just isn’t my cup of tea.
 
The first time I watched this I laughed so hard I gave myself a headache..
0.45 classic

 
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