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Bubba
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Author Unkown
Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Bubba how about Tom Cruise?"
"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it. "
So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"
Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba's knowing Cruise was just lucky.
"No, no, just name anyone else," Bubba says.
"President Clinton," his boss quickly retorts.
"Yes," Bubba says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington."
And off they go. At the White House, Clinton spots Bubba on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Bubba, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."
Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else.
"The Pope," his boss replies.
"Sure!" says Bubba. "My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time."
So off they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Bubba says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."
And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony.
But by the time Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss' side, Bubba asks him, "What happened?"
His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who's that on the balcony with Bubba?'
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Bubba how about Tom Cruise?"
"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it. "
So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"
Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba's knowing Cruise was just lucky.
"No, no, just name anyone else," Bubba says.
"President Clinton," his boss quickly retorts.
"Yes," Bubba says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington."
And off they go. At the White House, Clinton spots Bubba on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Bubba, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."
Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else.
"The Pope," his boss replies.
"Sure!" says Bubba. "My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time."
So off they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Bubba says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."
And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony.
But by the time Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss' side, Bubba asks him, "What happened?"
His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who's that on the balcony with Bubba?'
Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Bubba how about Tom Cruise?"
"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it. "
So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"
Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba's knowing Cruise was just lucky.
"No, no, just name anyone else," Bubba says.
"President Clinton," his boss quickly retorts.
"Yes," Bubba says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington."
And off they go. At the White House, Clinton spots Bubba on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Bubba, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."
Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else.
"The Pope," his boss replies.
"Sure!" says Bubba. "My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time."
So off they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Bubba says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."
And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony.
But by the time Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss' side, Bubba asks him, "What happened?"
His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who's that on the balcony with Bubba?'
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Bubba how about Tom Cruise?"
"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it. "
So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"
Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba's knowing Cruise was just lucky.
"No, no, just name anyone else," Bubba says.
"President Clinton," his boss quickly retorts.
"Yes," Bubba says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington."
And off they go. At the White House, Clinton spots Bubba on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Bubba, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."
Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else.
"The Pope," his boss replies.
"Sure!" says Bubba. "My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time."
So off they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Bubba says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."
And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony.
But by the time Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss' side, Bubba asks him, "What happened?"
His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who's that on the balcony with Bubba?'
S
Sophia Sinclair
Guest
100% of women too I'm guessing, as I sure didn't notice the gorilla either.
PussyScientist
Senior Member
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2011
- Messages
- 230
Ok here's a new well kinda new joke.
3Girls are gonna get executed for a crime.
The sheriff who's gonna shoot them says ok ladies stand in line. So girl number one gets against the wall..any last words says the sheriff? She says Wait EATHQUAKE! So they duck and she runs and escapes! Damn said the sheriff...ok next lady. So the sheriff says ok....any last words? She said look outside TORNADO!!! So the sheriff looks away and she escapes!!
Damn the sheriff said! Ok miss lets get this over with. Any last words? The blonde knew what the others did to escape...so she says..yeah FIRE!!! :biggrin:
3Girls are gonna get executed for a crime.
The sheriff who's gonna shoot them says ok ladies stand in line. So girl number one gets against the wall..any last words says the sheriff? She says Wait EATHQUAKE! So they duck and she runs and escapes! Damn said the sheriff...ok next lady. So the sheriff says ok....any last words? She said look outside TORNADO!!! So the sheriff looks away and she escapes!!
Damn the sheriff said! Ok miss lets get this over with. Any last words? The blonde knew what the others did to escape...so she says..yeah FIRE!!! :biggrin:
Two husbands are chatting about their wives.
The first husband says: Ever since my wife started taking driving lessons she's been behaving strangely in bed at night. Last night when she was asleep she took my cock into her hand and mumble "first gear, second gear, third gear..."
Husband #2 replied: Oh that's nothing compared to my wife. Last night when my wife was asleep she grabbed my cock, slid it inside her and screamed "20 litres petroleum please!!"
:biggrin:
The first husband says: Ever since my wife started taking driving lessons she's been behaving strangely in bed at night. Last night when she was asleep she took my cock into her hand and mumble "first gear, second gear, third gear..."
Husband #2 replied: Oh that's nothing compared to my wife. Last night when my wife was asleep she grabbed my cock, slid it inside her and screamed "20 litres petroleum please!!"
:biggrin:
buccaneerm
Active member
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2012
- Messages
- 33
Omg hahaha this is one of the dirtiest funny jokes I heard!
S
Sophia Sinclair
Guest
Gentlemen, help needed to show this Jimmy Kimmel "Adopt a Stripper" You Tube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ewsTaQcVYA.
H
HOF
Guest
BUSTED
If you've ever worked for a boss who reacts before getting the facts and
thinking things through, you will love this!
Arcelor-Mittal Steel, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO.
The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall.
The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he
meant business. He asked the guy, "How much money do you make a
week?"
A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, "I make $400
a week. Why?"
The CEO said, "Wait right here." He walked back to his office, came back
in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, "Here's
four weeks' pay. Now GET OUT and don't come back."
Feeling pretty good about himself the CEO looked around the room and
asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?"
From across the room a voice said, “Pizza delivery guy from Domino's.”
thinking things through, you will love this!
Arcelor-Mittal Steel, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO.
The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall.
The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he
meant business. He asked the guy, "How much money do you make a
week?"
A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, "I make $400
a week. Why?"
The CEO said, "Wait right here." He walked back to his office, came back
in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, "Here's
four weeks' pay. Now GET OUT and don't come back."
Feeling pretty good about himself the CEO looked around the room and
asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?"
From across the room a voice said, “Pizza delivery guy from Domino's.”
there is a new study about women & how they feel about their asses…
The results were pretty interesting.
30% of women think their ass is too fat.
10% of women think their ass is too skinny.
The remaining 60% say they don’t care,
they love him, he’s a good man & wouldn’t trade him for the world…
The results were pretty interesting.
30% of women think their ass is too fat.
10% of women think their ass is too skinny.
The remaining 60% say they don’t care,
they love him, he’s a good man & wouldn’t trade him for the world…
S
Sophia Sinclair
Guest
This should have been after Beast's post.
Grandparents' answering machine.
Good morning . . . At present we are not at home but, please Leave your message after you hear the beep.
beeeeeppp ....
If you are one of our children, dial 1 and then select the option from 1 to 5 in order of "arrival" so we know who it is.
If you need us to stay with the children, press 2
If you want to borrow the car, press 3
If you want us to wash your clothes, press 4
If you want the grandchildren to sleep here tonight, press 5
If you want us to pick up the kids at school, press 6
If you want us to prepare a meal for Sunday or to have it delivered to your home, press 7
If you want to come to eat here, press 8
If you need money, press 9
If you are going to invite us to dinner, or taking us to the theater, start talking we are listening!!!!!!!!!!!"
Good morning . . . At present we are not at home but, please Leave your message after you hear the beep.
beeeeeppp ....
If you are one of our children, dial 1 and then select the option from 1 to 5 in order of "arrival" so we know who it is.
If you need us to stay with the children, press 2
If you want to borrow the car, press 3
If you want us to wash your clothes, press 4
If you want the grandchildren to sleep here tonight, press 5
If you want us to pick up the kids at school, press 6
If you want us to prepare a meal for Sunday or to have it delivered to your home, press 7
If you want to come to eat here, press 8
If you need money, press 9
If you are going to invite us to dinner, or taking us to the theater, start talking we are listening!!!!!!!!!!!"
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