H
HOF
Guest
- Thread starter jiggyjiggy
- Start date
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A sexually active middle aged woman informed her plastic surgeon that she wanted her
vaginal lips reduced in size because over the years they've become loose and
floppy. Out of
embarrassment, she insisted that the surgery be kept secret and, of course,
the surgeon agreed.
Awakening from the anesthesia, she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the
bed. Outraged,
she immediately called in the surgeon. "I thought I specifically asked you not
to tell anyone about my operation"!
The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the
first rose was from him. "I felt so
sad for you, because you went through this all by
yourself."
"The second rose is from my nurse. She
assisted me in the surgery and understood
perfectly, as she had
the same procedure done some time
ago."
"And what about the third rose?" she asked.
"That's from a man in the burn unit - he wanted
to thank you for his new ears."
vaginal lips reduced in size because over the years they've become loose and
floppy. Out of
embarrassment, she insisted that the surgery be kept secret and, of course,
the surgeon agreed.
Awakening from the anesthesia, she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the
bed. Outraged,
she immediately called in the surgeon. "I thought I specifically asked you not
to tell anyone about my operation"!
The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the
first rose was from him. "I felt so
sad for you, because you went through this all by
yourself."
"The second rose is from my nurse. She
assisted me in the surgery and understood
perfectly, as she had
the same procedure done some time
ago."
"And what about the third rose?" she asked.
"That's from a man in the burn unit - he wanted
to thank you for his new ears."
P
Prick
Guest
If you have an erection lasting more than four hours, seek medical attention, or click on the link below:
Wilt The Stilt
Active member
- Joined
- Mar 24, 2011
- Messages
- 37
A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, 'Harry, what's your problem?'
Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!'
Ms.. Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal:
'What is 3 x 3?'
Harry:
'9.'
Principal:
'What is 6 x 6?'
Harry:
'36.'
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, 'I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade'
Ms. Brooks says to the principal, 'Let me ask him some questions..'
The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms.. Brooks asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?'
Harry, after a moment: 'Legs..'
Ms Brooks: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: 'Pockets.'
Ms. Brooks: 'What does a dog do that a man steps into?'
Harry:
'Pants.'
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: 'What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?'
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, 'Bubble gum.'
Ms. Brooks: 'What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?'
Harry: 'Shake hands.'
The principal was trembling.
Ms.. Brooks: 'What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?'
Harry:
'Firetruck.'
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the
teacher, 'Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong...'
Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!'
Ms.. Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal:
'What is 3 x 3?'
Harry:
'9.'
Principal:
'What is 6 x 6?'
Harry:
'36.'
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, 'I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade'
Ms. Brooks says to the principal, 'Let me ask him some questions..'
The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms.. Brooks asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?'
Harry, after a moment: 'Legs..'
Ms Brooks: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: 'Pockets.'
Ms. Brooks: 'What does a dog do that a man steps into?'
Harry:
'Pants.'
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: 'What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?'
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, 'Bubble gum.'
Ms. Brooks: 'What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?'
Harry: 'Shake hands.'
The principal was trembling.
Ms.. Brooks: 'What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?'
Harry:
'Firetruck.'
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the
teacher, 'Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong...'
Super Dave
Active member
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2012
- Messages
- 33
Notice how they can barely contain their laughter :rofl1:
A middle-aged woman and a baby were in the doctor’s examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby’s first exam. The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.
“Breast-fed,” the woman replied.
“Well, strip down to your waist,” the doctor ordered.
She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, and kneaded both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.
Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, “No wonder this baby is underweight. You don’t have any milk.”
“I know,” she said, “I’m his Grandma. But I’m really glad I came in with him today.”
“Breast-fed,” the woman replied.
“Well, strip down to your waist,” the doctor ordered.
She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, and kneaded both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.
Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, “No wonder this baby is underweight. You don’t have any milk.”
“I know,” she said, “I’m his Grandma. But I’m really glad I came in with him today.”
S
Sophia Sinclair
Guest
A middle aged woman is on the elevator of a medical professional building when a young man comes through the front doors. He asks her to please hold the elevator, which she does. He thanks her and she asks him which floor he's going to. He tells her the fourth. As they are riding the elevator up she explains to him that she's been coming to her doctor on the third floor for many years and always wondered what was on the fourth floor. The young man sheepishly explains that it is a donor clinic. The woman praises him for giving blood and he embarrassedly tells her that it is in fact a sperm bank. Being of a liberal mind she is only intrugued by this and asks him why he is doing so at his age. He explains that it is helping put him through school as they pay him $100 each donation, which he does on a weekly basis. They arrive at the third floor and she smiles and wishes him well in his studies.
A week later the same young man is on the elevator and recognises the woman as she is coming through the front door, so he holds the elevator for her, to which she nods her approval. Just as he is about to hit the button he asks her with a smile, "The third, right?", to which she emphatically shakes her head no while simultaneously mumbling, "Mm mm, mm mm!", and holding up four fingers.
A week later the same young man is on the elevator and recognises the woman as she is coming through the front door, so he holds the elevator for her, to which she nods her approval. Just as he is about to hit the button he asks her with a smile, "The third, right?", to which she emphatically shakes her head no while simultaneously mumbling, "Mm mm, mm mm!", and holding up four fingers.
A blond and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours.
The blond jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this".
She goes downstairs.
The blond finally comes back up to bed and her husband says, "The dog is still barking,
What have you been doing?"
The blond says, "I put the dog in our backyard, let's see how THEY like it!
The blond jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this".
She goes downstairs.
The blond finally comes back up to bed and her husband says, "The dog is still barking,
What have you been doing?"
The blond says, "I put the dog in our backyard, let's see how THEY like it!
H
HOF
Guest
H
HOF
Guest
That's just dumb!
Everyone knows that escorts earn much more!
Everyone knows that escorts earn much more!
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