Major dilema: should i give up the dog or is he mine?

[LisaOfToronto]

Last October my daughter was given a dog to look after while the owner; a young pregnant lady who was homeless went to a womans shelter for the duration of her pregnancy. She's since had the baby and now has her own home.

I took the dog from my daughter about a month after she got him. I've had Prince for about 6 months now. Meantime about 3 months ago, my neighbours gave me another dog; a 3 month old mulshi Daisy, I call her Daisy Dukes. Since then the puppies have grown to love each other and are constant companions to each other and me of course. I love them both.

The girl wants Prince back now. I've always kinda known she wanted him back once she got settled but I dont wanna give him back. I think of him as my dog, and I keep making up all kinds of excuses to myself why he should not go back: 1 of them being, is that he is part chihuahua and he dont like babies/kids, 2: he is happy here with me & Daisy Dukes, 3; I feel im the better person to take care of him, I was out with him all winter, storms, snow, blizzards, he got his walks & now I wanna enjoy the summer with him & Daisy, 4; I'd like to breed them 2 when Daisy is ready, I offered her pick of the litter, 5: separation anxiety (actually thats' #1)

I had Prince go home with my daughter the other nite and Daisy Dukes was pissed, next day when i took her for walks, she just walked a bit stopped and wouldnt move, she kept looking around, she was more less sad all day, she didnt eat, she just moped around. I went to pick up Prince next day and of course their reunion was as expected: happy happy happy.

Everyday I take them for walks together, today I took Prince by himself. On the way I said to him, where is Daisy and he stopped and stared around, walked a few steps and kept stopping looking around to see where Daisy was.

This girl wants to come take Prince tomorrow, I dont wanna give him!

Whats your take on the scenerio?

 

[Porkchop]

Do what is right. Dogs forget after a while and will make their home to whatever or whoever is their owner. Just remember they have a short memory span. Take a hit, suck it in and give the dog back.

 

[BEER]

Dog goes back to its original owner. You were nice enough to take care of the puppy but now must suck it in and do what is right.

 

[LisaOfToronto]

ohhhhhhhhhk so im not giving the dog back

 

[papasmerf]

you could try and work out a compromise and see if she will let you buy her a new puppy.

Otherwise you know you and your daughter were just fostering the pup

 

[tboy]

Do what is right. Dogs forget after a while and will make their home to whatever or whoever is their owner. Just remember they have a short memory span. Take a hit, suck it in and give the dog back.

You couldn't be more wrong....there are plenty of cases where a dog has been lost for years and remembers their original owner and plenty of videos online where owners have gone away (like Iraq) for a year and when they come home the dog is beside themselves with joy.....sometimes fostered dogs just don't ever settle in, it all depends on how well they were attached to their original owners. They can change locations but it is their attachment to their owners which is the key factor. Specially if the owners had them since they were weened from their mother.....

Lisa: seems like the dogs have formed a pack, with you being the pack leader.

You have two choices: do what's right, or what's right for the dog.

What's right is to give the dog back to its rightful owner. Seems like what's right for the dog is for you to keep it.

How long did this woman have the dog before you fostered it?

Seems like you really want to keep it, so I'd go to the original owner and explain to her the situation and (as suggested) ask her if she would like you to get her another one, and or explain to her maybe now won't be the best time to take on the responsibility of a dog as well as a new baby. The baby is going to take 100% of her time and it seems like she had trouble managing her life before the baby came, so now how is she going to manage a baby AND a dog?

If she couldn't afford a place to live before, what's changed? Will she be able to care for the dog properly as well as the costs of a baby?

 

[papasmerf]

You couldn't be more wrong....there are plenty of cases where a dog has been lost for years and remembers their original owner and plenty of videos online where owners have gone away (like Iraq) for a year and when they come home the dog is beside themselves with joy.....sometimes fostered dogs just don't ever settle in, it all depends on how well they were attached to their original owners. They can change locations but it is their attachment to their owners which is the key factor. Specially if the owners had them since they were weened from their mother.....

Lisa: seems like the dogs have formed a pack, with you being the pack leader.

You have two choices: do what's right, or what's right for the dog.

What's right is to give the dog back to its rightful owner. Seems like what's right for the dog is for you to keep it.

How long did this woman have the dog before you fostered it?

Seems like you really want to keep it, so I'd go to the original owner and explain to her the situation and (as suggested) ask her if she would like you to get her another one, and or explain to her maybe now won't be the best time to take on the responsibility of a dog as well as a new baby. The baby is going to take 100% of her time and it seems like she had trouble managing her life before the baby came, so now how is she going to manage a baby AND a dog?

If she couldn't afford a place to live before, what's changed? Will she be able to care for the dog properly as well as the costs of a baby?

wa wa wa wa wa
Lisa needs to think no react

 

[Guido]

Offer her 500 bucks for the dog and I am sure it will be yours. Start off with 300 first.

 

[Maurice Boscorelli]

You have two choices: do what's right, or what's right for the dog.

What's right is to give the dog back to its rightful owner. Seems like what's right for the dog is for you to keep it.

The highlighted part of ''T's'' breakdown sounds right to me.

 

[LisaOfToronto]

You couldn't be more wrong....there are plenty of cases where a dog has been lost for years and remembers their original owner and plenty of videos online where owners have gone away (like Iraq) for a year and when they come home the dog is beside themselves with joy.....sometimes fostered dogs just don't ever settle in, it all depends on how well they were attached to their original owners. They can change locations but it is their attachment to their owners which is the key factor. Specially if the owners had them since they were weened from their mother.....

Lisa: seems like the dogs have formed a pack, with you being the pack leader.

You have two choices: do what's right, or what's right for the dog.

What's right is to give the dog back to its rightful owner. Seems like what's right for the dog is for you to keep it.

How long did this woman have the dog before you fostered it?

Seems like you really want to keep it, so I'd go to the original owner and explain to her the situation and (as suggested) ask her if she would like you to get her another one, and or explain to her maybe now won't be the best time to take on the responsibility of a dog as well as a new baby. The baby is going to take 100% of her time and it seems like she had trouble managing her life before the baby came, so now how is she going to manage a baby AND a dog?

If she couldn't afford a place to live before, what's changed? Will she be able to care for the dog properly as well as the costs of a baby?

Prince was about a 1 & 1/2 years old when she gave him up.

It's true, Prince remembers his original owner, we met a couple months ago & took the puppies to the vet together. Prince was beside himself when he saw her. But when we hang out together that day he was obedient to me and had no problem coming home with me.

I offered her pick of the litter if they have puppies, she adamantly refused. I'll offer her some money and see where that goes.

Yes I wanna keep him. He's adapted very well with me & Daisy too. I think he is very very happy here & I can and do give him what he needs, thats my full attention. The dog loves to walk, I take him for several long walks per day, something I know she doesn't do.

I think Prince considers home with me. He was very territorial when Daisy first came. It took him 3 weeks to like her, now he loves her & they play together all day long.
Im mostly concerned that both of them will become lonely if they are separated.

The original owner of Prince has permanent housing now. Since she was single, pregnant & homeless, she was able to get government help & subsidized housing.
Her rent is something like a $120 a month so I know she is good at the home front.
Although I don't think she will be doing Prince a favour if she takes him back. The baby needs all her attention and once baby gets on the move and starts bugging Prince, he'll hurt her. That I know for sure. He is just not cool with babies or small kids and he's got a vicious bite. That I know for sure too cuz he's taken a couple chunks from my hands. I had to get a muzzle to put ear-drops in his ears.

Still I love him, I dont wanna give him back. We don't live close to each other so it's not like the dogs can just meet & play. When I took Prince I never knew I'd grow so attached to a damn dog. Everything about this whole scenario is pissin me off.

 

[DonCorleo]

Tough situation you are in. Looks to me like you would be a better owner but she is still the rightful owner. Tough call.

Good luck

 

[tboy]

Here's an interesting idea (I think anyways):

Don't present it to her as you're keeping the dog, put it in a way that you're sharing it with her.

Say to her: she's going to have her hands full with the baby and all and really doesn't need one more thing to take care of. I don't know how far she is from you but you could say to her: you and the baby can come and visit anytime, take him for walks, to the dog park, whatever. So she can get some of the enjoyment of having a dog, but not the responsibility.

Plus you could tell her about the biting issues and this could be a trial run to see how the dog is with the baby. A nip to an adult is major trauma to a baby.......so it mightn't be a bad idea to do this anyways whether she agrees or not.

Dogs are usually pretty good with babies as they tend to treat them as their own. But some will look at them as "outsiders" to the pack and many pack leaders will kill offspring from another male to preserve their gene pool. My parents had a german shepard about a year old when my brother was born. The dog became so protective of the baby that my mother couldn't get near it if it was crying. It would have been a great watch dog because they could leave my brother on the front lawn alone and NO one and I mean NO ONE would get anywhere near him.....

 

[Chunky]

You are in a tough situation Lisa. Legally I believe you are in the wrong but I can't blame you for being attached to the dog and wanting to keep it after raising the little mutt. I agree with Guido and I would throw her some money. Make the offer an amount she can't say no too.

 

[LisaOfToronto]

I rescued him, legally he is my dog (or so i've been told by several ppl)

We texted this morn and she says she wants him back, she really loves him and he is a part of her, i told her i dont wanna give him back i love him too & he is a part me too, i asked her if she would sell me him, at first she said if she was gonna sell him to me I would have to pay for everything she ever paid for, i asked her to name her price and she recanted, crying how she cant do that, so now we're back at square 1

tboy problem with that idea is that i dont trust her, I think she would just thief him from me, she lives all the way deep in Scarberia & Im smack dab downtown

im gonna offer her a $1000 see if she bites

 

[LisaOfToronto]

im gonna offer her a $1000 see if she bites

she said no

 

[Maurice Boscorelli]

What's that old expression about possession being 9/10's of the law.

maybe it's time to test that out.

 

[tboy]

she said no

holy crap, she's on social assistance, newborn, and she turned down $1000 for a dog that she hasn't seen in how many months?

Typical of ppl on social assistance....

I think bosco is correct, time to test that theory. You've been totally fair to her, even MORE than fair with that offer and she was insane not to accept it.

The thing is, since she is on social assistance she'll be eligible for free legal representation. Therefore if she decides to, she can sue for custody for free and you'll have to pay for legal counsel.

The problem with "possession is 9/10s the law" is that doesn't mean if you take something, it's yours. It means that if you have it in your possession, you're legally in possession of it (ie: if you are caught in a stolen car, you will be charged with possession of stolen property). It doesn't mean you can just go into your neighbour's garage and take his lawn tractor and call it yours.....

Now legally, if you two had a "meeting of the minds" insofar as you were fostering the dog until she got settled, then legally the dog is hers.

How do you know this woman? Is she like a friend? Just a casual acquaintance? will you care if you never see her again?

I tell you though, if I had someone foster my cat while I was away, or whatever, and wouldn't give him back? I'd be at their place with an ultimatum: give me my cat back or I'm taking him, by force if necessary......

 

[Swagger]

I tell you though, if I had someone foster my cat while I was away, or whatever, and wouldn't give him back? I'd be at their place with an ultimatum: give me my cat back or I'm taking him, by force if necessary......

That is what the lady is doing. Lisa's first paragraph says it all. The owner did not say here keep it, did she?. No she said "to look after the dog while she was gone"

my daughter was given a dog to look after while the owner; a young pregnant lady who was homeless went to a womans shelter for the duration of her pregnancy

 

[LisaOfToronto]

holy crap, she's on social assistance, newborn, and she turned down $1000 for a dog that she hasn't seen in how many months?

Typical of ppl on social assistance....

I think bosco is correct, time to test that theory. You've been totally fair to her, even MORE than fair with that offer and she was insane not to accept it.

The thing is, since she is on social assistance she'll be eligible for free legal representation. Therefore if she decides to, she can sue for custody for free and you'll have to pay for legal counsel.

The problem with "possession is 9/10s the law" is that doesn't mean if you take something, it's yours. It means that if you have it in your possession, you're legally in possession of it (ie: if you are caught in a stolen car, you will be charged with possession of stolen property). It doesn't mean you can just go into your neighbour's garage and take his lawn tractor and call it yours.....

Now legally, if you two had a "meeting of the minds" insofar as you were fostering the dog until she got settled, then legally the dog is hers.

How do you know this woman? Is she like a friend? Just a casual acquaintance? will you care if you never see her again?

I tell you though, if I had someone foster my cat while I was away, or whatever, and wouldn't give him back? I'd be at their place with an ultimatum: give me my cat back or I'm taking him, by force if necessary......

she just texted me saying i got 4 hours to deliver the dog back to her or she is calling the police

i know her through my daughter, the girl is 20 years old, she got kicked out of her mothers house while she was 2/3 months pregnant, she had to go to womans shelter, she gave the dog to my daughter last October, who at the time just moved into her own place, was going to school & working

my daughter would come over and leave the dog with me, for a couple days at a time, then it turned into a couple weeks at a time, once i saw how my daughter was struggling to keep the dog i suggested she just leave him with me, since i have more time for him

it was never clear whether she wanted the dog back, it was after she had the baby that she started to demand him back

o i just had a brainstorm: maybe i should tell her to pay me for the 7 months i been looking after him

 

[Stubby]

o i just had a brainstorm: maybe i should tell her to pay me for the 7 months i been looking after him

Good idea. Dog grooming, shots, food, toys plus your time etc... Tell her to call the cops after she pays you. No brainer there.