Most adults do not have memories from the first years of life

[ChrisD]

Makes sense now, no?.

https://europepmc.org/backend/ptpmcrender.fcgi?accid=PMC4104227&blobtype=pdf

SAGE Journals: Your gateway to world-class journal research

 

[Wino]

I can only remember from the age 6 and up. Nothing before then.

 

[Jessica Rain]

Wish I couldn't remember the molestation that started at 4.

 

[Vongolo]

Wish I couldn't remember the molestation that started at 4.

Yikes!!. Did you report it?.

 

[Jessica Rain]

Yikes!!. Did you report it?.

Does it matter? Does it negate what I suffered? Why would THAT be the first thing you think of?

But for your info - the trauma was so bad that I actually blocked it out and didn't remember for the longest time.

When I was 12, I went to the hospital for an injury. Since I was also physically abused as a child by someone different then my sexual abuser, the hopsital of sick kids got involved and did a completely physical. During that physical, it was determined based on physical internal damage, that I was indeed sexually abused. I still didn't remember.

I went through years of therapy to try and remember, and then therapy to deal with the fact that I knew I was abused but didn't know anything about it. That was pretty fucked up.

Then when I was 18, I had total recall. 4 years worth of abuse remembered like it was yesterday. I will never get rid of the memories now.

While I had enough evidence to press charges, I had already endured years of further trauma based on how my abuse was handle by the professionals before and after my recall.

I didnt formally press charges, but I didn't hide myabuse either. I came out and told everyone in my family, his family, and I confronted him directly where he apologized and tried to tell he had changed. I know I can press charges at anytime. There is not limitation on timeline from my understanding. I kind of like knowing that he will never know when or if that knock will come to his door. Just like I never knew what night he would come walking through my bedroom door.

So to answer your question no I didn't. I guess to some, that either puts me in the category of being a false accuser for personal gain or simply a person who was really assault as bad I claim.... either way I couldn't care less.

 

[demien3k5]

I remember when I was a fetus I used to sneak out at night when my mom was sleeping. Figured it was a good time to try and steal some expensive stuff since I hadn't developed any fingerprints or distinct facial features yet. Hard core ninja shit, I kid you not. :biggrin2:

 

[demien3k5]

Does it matter? Does it negate what I suffered? Why would THAT be the first thing you think of?

But for your info - the trauma was so bad that I actually blocked it out and didn't remember for the longest time.

When I was 12, I went to the hospital for an injury. Since I was also physically abused as a child by someone different then my sexual abuser, the hopsital of sick kids got involved and did a completely physical. During that physical, it was determined based on physical internal damage, that I was indeed sexually abused. I still didn't remember.

I went through years of therapy to try and remember, and then therapy to deal with the fact that I knew I was abused but didn't know anything about it. That was pretty fucked up.

Then when I was 18, I had total recall. 4 years worth of abuse remembered like it was yesterday. I will never get rid of the memories now.

While I had enough evidence to press charges, I had already endured years of further trauma based on how my abuse was handle by the professionals before and after my recall.

I didnt formally press charges, but I didn't hide myabuse either. I came out and told everyone in my family, his family, and I confronted him directly where he apologized and tried to tell he had changed. I know I can press charges at anytime. There is not limitation on timeline from my understanding. I kind of like knowing that he will never know when or if that knock will come to his door. Just like I never knew what night he would come walking through my bedroom door.

So to answer your question no I didn't. I guess to some, that either puts me in the category of being a false accuser for personal gain or simply a person who was really assault as bad I claim.... either way I couldn't care less.

So what you're saying, in a nutshell, is that you're now over it all, have set your anger aside, and no longer harbor any ill will? Hmmmmmm

 

[Canada-Man]

I still remember a Sunday Morning during my infancy before I learned to walk. it was Sunday morning my mom took the bus to a church. she got off the bus walked across a football/soccer field to the church. at the church, she fed me a sweet tasting baby formula and I was drinking from a baby bottle.

 

[Jessica Rain]

So what you're saying, in a nutshell, is that you're now over it all, have set your anger aside, and no longer harbor any ill will? Hmmmmmm

It does not consume my life? No.

It did. For a long time It did. I can't say I won't be happy and celebrating when the fucker dies, but he no longer has any power over me and if anything I do feel I flipped that power when I confronted him and left him in fear of his future.

A little tit for tat but that got me through better then testifying in court, proving my abuse was real, proving that I was a victim while trying to remain a survivor. Having him jail, having a judge agree with me was not going to help me in my life.

 

[papasmerf]

I have a few snippets of memories when I was as young as 2 or 3.

But then again all we have are snippets of life that we remember.
Can you imagine remembering your entire life moment by moment?

 

[Senor Gomes]

Having him jail, having a judge agree with me was not going to help me in my life.

But it could just for the satisfaction that he is punished for his behavior.

 

[Jessica Rain]

But it could just for the satisfaction that he is punished for his behavior.

At what expense? Mine? My emotional well being? Can you imagine what it is like to have been molested and then what it would be like having to fight to prove that in court.

And why is the punishment of "jail" better then the continued fear this man has that I will and can at anytime, press charges and have him thrown in jail.

I think I have the right to decide what is satifcatory to me regarding punishment?

I am fine with my choice. As I said, I don't feel the need to be re-victimized by the system and the courts after I have already made myself a survivor, all because that is what is "suppose to be done" and that is the "only way to get accountability/punishment". I disagree with those two concepts being the be all to end all so I am good.

 

[Senor Gomes]

At what expense? Mine? My emotional well being? Can you imagine what it is like to have been molested and then what it would be like having to fight to prove that in court.

And why is the punishment of "jail" better then the continued fear this man has that I will and can at anytime, press charges and have him thrown in jail.

I think I have the right to decide what is satifcatory to me regarding punishment?

I am fine with my choice. As I said, I don't feel the need to be re-victimized by the system and the courts after I have already made myself a survivor, all because that is what is "suppose to be done" and that is the "only way to get accountability/punishment". I disagree with those two concepts being the be all to end all so I am good.

Fair enough but maybe he does feel you will never report him which is not a good thing. It is your right to do what you want. You do have to give him a scare, maybe you are not his only victim and more will come out if you go public.

 

[Lorenzo]

Hard enough to remember what I did or ate yesterday.

Some have all the luck or no luck?.

 

[Creepy]

Can you imagine what it is like to have been molested and then what it would be like having to fight to prove that in court.

A friend of mine endured it. She won but he barely got any time. Yes sometimes it's best to avoid it.

 

[DR. Love]

I must have been one of the lucky ones.