IN-Call My old lady - a review

[fshes]

I'll keep this short and sweet.
I was feeling a fair bit more amorous than usual yesterday. I booked one of the TAG girls (name?) at 12:30pm. Decent ride, wouldn't recommend.

Wasn't drained, so I booked a second TAG girl (name? I guess that it doesn't matter). Decent ride, wouldn't recommend.

When I get home, she tells me that tonight is my lucky night. So I took the old lady for a spin - I won't bore you with the details but here is the short version -

Used to advertise GFE but is now very restrictive. No LFK/DFK.
Said her tits were sore - don't touch!
Wouldn't allow digits.
No BBBJ, not ever CBJ
No MPOS
Definitely no MSOG!

Looks - You can tell that she used to be a looker but has really let herself go
Service - Complained through the whole thing. Showed no interest.
Cost - Immeasurable
Repeat - more than likely but probably not for quite some time.
Recommend - No

 

[Guido]

Hilarious review. Do you have a link please!:he:

 

[Bill The Pirate]

I'll bet half the guys on the board write the same review

 

[Smooth]

 

[zorro]

Is she available tomorrow at 4 pm?.

 

[fshes]

Is she available tomorrow at 4 pm?.

Are you fucking kidding me??






Never bother her when Oprah's on

 

[jiggyjiggy]

Are you fucking kidding me??






Never bother her when Oprah's on

How much for 30 minutes? Let her know I could work around Oprah.

 

[Madman]

Used to advertise GFE but is now very restrictive. No LFK/DFK. Stick her toothbrush in your ass crack whenever alone in the washroom
Said her tits were sore - don't touch! Bring a couple of Cantaloupe to bed and place one on each side of her.
Wouldn't allow digits. Try sticking your thumb in her chocolate star fish instead
No BBBJ, not ever CBJ wait til she's sleeping and run your bare knob around her lips and she will acquire a taste for your dick
No MPOS tell her thank god she's not moving, you fear the bed might break
Definitely no MSOG! Who cares, you probably wouldn't get it back up anyway.

Looks - You can tell that she used to be a looker but has really let herself go Call Jenny Craig
Service - Complained through the whole thing. Showed no interest. You have to spice it up a bit, rub a little tobasco on her bum hole.
Cost - Immeasurable over paid and under worked eh bud?
Repeat - more than likely but probably not for quite some time.Sleep in a separate room , you will thank me later.
Recommend - maybe she's a tigress with the other man?

Hope you don't mind me giving you a little advice and allowing me to help you with your relationship going forward.

 

[Satan]

Recommend - No

 

[L._s.]

Very sad, Very sad. Nevertheless, I LMAO.

 

[Albino]

Ha ha I know your pain very well Fshes, one of the best reviews to date.

 

[Benny]

Let us know when you repeat. Maybe in a few months or so :666:

 

[treefort]

GOLD!

 

[elassowipo1]

HAHAHA

 

[Trump]

Best review contender for sure,

 

[Nova5]

LMAO!

 

[Dan]

HA HA, just a reminder why I should never ever get married!!:he:

 

[fshes]

It's funny 'cause it's true.

But really, it's not funny.

 

[BuryTheWeasel]

It's funny 'cause it's true.

But really, it's not funny.

Irony for you bud.

 

[fshes]

Mods - please move this thread if it's in the wrong forum - she really isn't an independent, since she sponges off of me, with her fat ass sat on the couch all day.

It wasn't really an incall, since I pay the fucking mortgage.

Not really an outcall either. It's my house, but I didn't chose the furniture, the colours or that fucking gay Robert Bateman "painting"/photocopy that her mother gave us.

And it's my house until the divorce.





Fuck my life.