Paid Companion or Gold Digger

[cryptic]

I think this columnist gave a pretty shitty answer. What does HUBGFE think? I've been asked to be a paid 'friend': Ethically Speaking | Toronto Star

The question:

I have become acquainted with a man 20 years my senior; I am not young myself. He is lonely and has offered me outings, making clear he wishes they would include physical contact. I don’t feel the same, so I told him that if it were to happen it would be as a favour to him. I also said that I have lots of friends already and am not looking for companionship, but would consider the offer. Basically, I’d be a paid companion and friend. I don’t want to be seen as a gold-digger, but I’m on a limited budget and he has plenty to share (plus fewer years to spend it.) So why not?

The Toronto Star ethics columnist's answer:

You cannot be this man’s paid friend. You can be his helpmate, his untrained personal care worker, even his escort (to use the word in its tawdriest sense). But the language of your letter makes clear that the money is important to you; you wouldn’t consider spending time with him if he weren’t paying the bills. And, after all, he has “fewer years” left than you, so maybe you’ll even reap a residual benefit.Please don’t sully the word “friend” by attaching it to what you have in mind. Here’s the bottom line. You say you don’t want to be seen as a gold-digger. Stop acting like one.

 

[oldguyzer]

Men pay for companionship in many ways...making it a bit direct is fine by me. I've done that before, and we both understand the relationship going in. It's more honest that way.

 

[Flash Bazbo]

If a man gives a woman something like gold or diamonds, or formerly a fur coat, he's saying 'here's something that cost me X# of dollars. You can only get that money if you sell it, and you will never receive full value, if you try to sell it second hand. By wearing it, you are setting a par value, against which other suitors can compete'.

This is why a wealthy man buys an engagement ring with a huge rock: it impresses his fiancee's friends, and intimidates men of lesser financial status. It symbolizes long term financial backing, as a down payment, for a depreciating asset. That sounds cold, but it's realistic.

With any paid companion, where there is no implicit extended 'personal services contract', cash consideration at the time of the limited service contract is standard, as there is no alimony/ palimony 'future receivable', for termination or breech of contract.

Ask any woman with a head for business which she would rather receive: A big diamond ring, or the equivalent in cash, or alternatively, to a bank account, to which she has sole signing authority. Almost all would chose the money option, but few would be offered it. That option does not display a man's financial stature to other men.

 

[Prick]

Who is paying who :don'twantto-see:/

 

[cristycurves]

Why is being a gold digger such a bad thing. Why is the term thought to be so ominous? If both parties are upfront with their intentions and wants, whats the harm? There are people who only want to be with "hotties" and don't want a relationship they just want "skin". There are people who just want money, and don't want a relationship .....what ever works for you and makes you happy.
The columnist is being judgemental and closed minded, and acting as many will, when reading the post. Since many believe we all should follow convention and everything outside of convention is wrong or "shady".

 

[Flash Bazbo]

@ Cristy Curves: I love to make money, and to spend it. Then I make some more, and repeat. When I have more to spend than I want to spend myself, I very much enjoy the company of women who enjoy spending my excess money, and are appreciative of my generosity. Just about every Independent Escort indicates their interest in this sort of arrangement, on the first page of their online ad, but phrased from their point of view.

Spending money on people who like to spend money stimulates economies. Hoarding money does not. This was what Ronald Reagan called the "Trickle Down Theory", which was misunderstood by most.

If I win $10k in a poker game, taking that money out of other people's pockets is my 'win'. Putting it into other pockets is my spoils. There's always someone willing to take money from me, when I want to redistribute it. My preference is to redistribute it to appreciative women, with big tits.

Sir Charles Barkley once unabashedly said that he had lost, in his lifetime, an estimated $60 million dollars gambling. He had a great time doing it. If he was a better gambler, he would have enjoyed the company of higher class gold diggers, and I would not have.

Much of the problem lies with 'social expectations of acceptable behavior'. Too many people judge their personal success by how they conform to a model, dictated to them. A woman who sells all of her company to one man is considered a role model. One who rents some of her company to multiple men is considered a gold digger. Women who have not sold themselves, who cannot or will not rent themselves, and have difficulty giving away their company, are understandably jealous of those who can do something that they cannot. All too often, they blame a third party for not being born lucky, talented, or astute. The old saying "The early bird gets the worm" has more meanings than one. I don't know anyone who ever became successful, by waiting to win big on a lottery ticket.

I may well have a 'worm' to offer you at some date in the near future, Ms Morningwood, along with some funding that came from someone else' pocket. If/ when that happens, the spectators might be given the opportunity to live vicariously through my exploits, if I elect to tell a locker room story, for their private amusement. I would have no objection to having you confirm any or all details, should we both wish to be momentarily indiscreet.

I have your number.

 

[cristycurves]

Qoute-Much of the problem lies with 'social expectations of acceptable behavior'. Too many people judge their personal success by how they conform to a model, dictated to them. A woman who sells all of her company to one man is considered a role model. One who rents some of her company to multiple men is considered a gold digger. Women who have not sold themselves, who cannot or will not rent themselves, and have difficulty giving away their company, are understandably jealous of those who can do something that they cannot. All too often, they blame a third party for not being born lucky, talented, or astute. The old saying "The early bird gets the worm" has more meanings than one. I don't know anyone who ever became successful, by waiting to win big on a lottery ticket.

Good points....I remember being at a family function years ago, an unknown person to me( some relative I'd never met) asked what I did for a living, I responded "that I was kept woman"....my mother had overheard and had let out the biggest gasp, as she was mortified with my reply. It is always my intention to shame those whose first question is "what do you do for a living", since I find it judgemental and is usually how those asking decide if you're worthy to them or not.
What a person does, how they decide to couple or date, shouldn't determine their worth. Character should. A person who offers their body for an exchange of a gift, money, etc, is now considered criminal, but what is truly criminal is those who think that way. What we do with our bodies/ time, etc, should be for us, the owners, to decide.

 

[Reverse]

Good points....I remember being at a family function years ago, an unknown person to me( some relative I'd never met) asked what I did for a living, I responded "that I was kept woman"....my mother had overheard and had let out the biggest gasp, as she was mortified with my reply. It is always my intention to shame those whose first question is "what do you do for a living", since I find it judgemental and is usually how those asking decide if you're worthy to them or not.
What a person does, how they decide to couple or date, shouldn't determine their worth. Character should. A person who offers their body for an exchange of a gift, money, etc, is now considered criminal, but what is truly criminal is those who think that way. What we do with our bodies/ time, etc, should be for us, the owners, to decide.

7

Preach Ms. Morningboner!

Now that I'm in the civilian world I still expect nice things from any man I date. If he doesn't spoil me 1) he's not getting anything 2) he's out by the curb within 2 dates.

I know, some will say I'm high maintenance but I prefer to be a girl that likes to be spoiled. I find older gentlemen understand this more than the hunky boytoy that is only good for a one night stand.

 

[Flash Bazbo]

Qoute-Much of the problem lies with 'social expectations of acceptable behavior'. Too many people judge their personal success by how they conform to a model, dictated to them. A woman who sells all of her company to one man is considered a role model. One who rents some of her company to multiple men is considered a gold digger. Women who have not sold themselves, who cannot or will not rent themselves, and have difficulty giving away their company, are understandably jealous of those who can do something that they cannot. All too often, they blame a third party for not being born lucky, talented, or astute. The old saying "The early bird gets the worm" has more meanings than one. I don't know anyone who ever became successful, by waiting to win big on a lottery ticket.

... It is always my intention to shame those whose first question is "what do you do for a living",...

Little Ms Echo...I couldn't have said this better, myself, (wink)

When an Escort asks me that question, I always say "That depends on how much the woman wants to spend!"

 

[Flash Bazbo]

7

Preach Ms. Morningboner!

Now that I'm in the civilian world I still expect nice things from any man I date. If he doesn't spoil me 1) he's not getting anything 2) he's out by the curb within 2 dates.

I know, some will say I'm high maintenance but I prefer to be a girl that likes to be spoiled. I find older gentlemen understand this more than the hunky boytoy that is only good for a one night stand.

Ms Reverse, I was unable to send a Private Message to you, as your available volume for mail is currently stretched to its full capacity. I retained the PM text in a notepad document, so I can easily copy paste it to a PM window for resending, whenever your incoming box might have an empty slot.

B.C.N.U.,

Flash

 

[oldguyzer]

How'd you get the picture of me????

 

[Flash Bazbo]

@ Prim0: #11 was more than slightly amusing. Props!

@ Cristy & Reverse: You must both have seen "Breakfast at Tiffany's" and "BUtterfield 8" at an impressionable age, and learned selectively from them.





BUtterfield-8, for which Elizabeth Taylor won an Academy Award as Best Actress, opened in theaters on Friday, November 4, 1960, four days before John Fitzgerald Kennedy won the 1960 US Presidential Election. Breakfast at Tiffany's was released in October, 1961, during the Cuban Missile Crisis. It seems ironic that these two movies would be so linked with the short-lived period of social change and optimism known as "Camelot".

@ 'the guys': JFK got way more tail on the side than Slick Willy, and higher quality, too. Seriously, Paula Jones? Monica Lewinsky? That's what you get, when you grow up in Arkansas. Those two former POTUSes did, in fact, meet in person. If that interests you lazy fucks, look it up for yourselves. Ungrateful bastards.

 

[cristycurves]

^ Lazy fucks, ungrateful bastards? I'm assuming you're inferring I am one of them, since you've referenced me in your post. To which I'll respond.....it takes one to know one If I'm mistaken, and you are referencing someone else, I'll still respond...it takes one to know one. There is no need for name calling and since there is no emicon to hint that you're "trying" to be funny, I take offence at your obvious rudeness.

 

[papasmerf]

^ Lazy fucks, ungrateful bastards? I'm assuming you're inferring I am one of them, since you've referenced me in your post. To which I'll respond.....it takes one to know one If I'm mistaken, and you are referencing someone else, I'll still respond...it takes one to know one. There is no need for name calling and since there is no emicon to hint that you're "trying" to be funny, I take offence at your obvious rudeness.

Cristy meet Bob