Relationship With A Sex Worker - Advice Wanted

[L._s.]

Background:

Visited her five or six times over the last six months
Extremely good chemistry. I enjoy her company and find her extremely attractive. Note I visit sps for sex only. I do not visit escorts for "company / conversation". She is very intelligent. However, with her I do spend half of the session talking.. She usually extends the session for free.

Last visit - she appeared to have total trust in me and totally let her self go in the moment - I have only experienced this with people I have been in a non-paid relationship. Incredible sex / love making - nothing PSE. I have never experienced this with SPs in my years of hobbying - They act good - but I doubt any of them really enjoyed the sex (i.e. fake / good acting).

At the end of the session we were talking about weekend plans and she asks me for my number - perhaps to go see a movie "off-the clock". I am not looking for a relationship with a SP.

On the one hand I would like to take this further - I really do enjoy her company however, a relationship would not work - very complex - I would not be able to bring her to my social circles and my family would not understand why I am dating a sex worker. I don't want to start thinking with my dick or heart if this goes further. Right now I can still think with my big head.

On the other hand, it is just a "date" and perhaps some fun afterward. I doubt she would want me as a fuck buddy - there are lots of better looking guys out there (I am an average "fit" joe). However, I know where things may lead and I don't want to get hurt or give her any false pre-tenses about a long-term relationship.


Other concerns - Is she truly interested in me or is she trying to game me.

Any advice from any SPs, any members who have dated a SP (no pay for play), other comments...

 

[Poroit]

Can live with the fact that she will sleep with others?

 

[Anto]

You answered your own question Little Stick. Good luck.

I really do enjoy her company however, a relationship would not work - very complex

 

[ChaosTheory]

Two words: Don't Do it.

That is three words.....sigh..too much sex is knocking down my IQ points

 

[-b]

It is her job....if she was a nurse or policewoman....
It's a job......I find that, there are some support for escorting ,
then there are some guys thinking, they don't want to date them or have a relationship with them......or take them home to mom..

It's a job...if you can not separate the two then walk away....
she probably has read what you wrote.....Escorts have feelings just like you.....think about that....

 

[Wazzap]

First date can lead to other dates etc...Avoid hurting her feelings and don't do it.

 

[dreamblade]

If you're not ready to accept her for what/who she is, if you already predict it won't work, then don't persue it.

I dated a sex worker, had no trouble introducing her to my friends, nor would I have been adverse to her meeting my family. That's why it worked out. It sounds to me like you're setting it up for failiure before it even has a chance of budding.

 

[User-E]

At the end of the session we were talking about weekend plans and she asks me for my number - perhaps to go see a movie "off-the clock". I am not looking for a relationship with a SP.

On the one hand I would like to take this further - I really do enjoy her company however, a relationship would not work - very complex - I would not be able to bring her to my social circles and my family would not understand why I am dating a sex worker. I don't want to start thinking with my dick or heart if this goes further. Right now I can still think with my big head.

On the other hand, it is just a "date" and perhaps some fun afterward. I doubt she would want me as a fuck buddy - there are lots of better looking guys out there (I am an average "fit" joe). However, I know where things may lead and I don't want to get hurt or give her any false pre-tenses about a long-term relationship.


Other concerns - Is she truly interested in me or is she trying to game me.

Any advice from any SPs, any members who have dated a SP (no pay for play), other comments...

Ask her the same questions you just asked us, as she is the only one who can tell you what her motives are. It will be a lot easier to decide yes or no if you both discuss the parameters of your intentions.

 

[DonCorleo]

Would it change for you if she finds a different type of work?.

 

[Tourist]

Just don't tell her:
I would date you if you had a different occupation. If she is serious about you (the odds are against it though), hearing you say that will crush her self esteem, self worth and the career path she has chosen.
Just my couple pennies worth.

 

[Guido]

LS, I can tell by your posts you're a good guy. I suggest you tread slowly but honestly if you can keep your heart in check there's nothing wrong with going for a dinner, movie and some fun afterwards but keep it at that. Try to not let feelings come into because I do think you will end up being hurt after it's all over.

 

[Guy]

Understand that business is business.


Hope you understand what I mean.

 

[Baz]

LittleStick, from your posts I've come to know you are a business man. If this is the case please think this through logically as you would in rendering a business decision.

 

[MUSE]

1. If she said all that 'on the clock' or off of it, ur acquaintance is based on a pro exchange
2. She asked for a # &a movie. Hardly romance material.
3. Sex workers have relationships folks. Not everyone in any circle needs to know anything about what she does.
4. Over thinking didn't work in high school, doubt it'll lead to answers here.
5. Always be a gent

 

[oldguyzer]

I've had several extremely wonderful relationships with women in the business, who either kept going with it or left after we met. These ladies are gems when you find the right one. Doin't think about the past, as it will drive you crazy. Focus on the future and give it a shot. You just may be very happy you did.

 

[RAWD]

Any relationship will work as long as both parties want it to work. (Hell, it can work for a while even if only one party is in the game! Lol).

SPs are humans and love and feel just like anyone else. An innocent coffee date or movie can blossom into passionate life changing romance....just like meeting any other person at school, work or on vacation. But, the nature of the job is a material consideration. I admit I'm jaded. I've seen, been, heard girls talking about playing clients for gain. It's not just any job, and it changes you. I'll come back to this later.

What she does for a living shouldn't be a big part of your relationship. Either you accept it or you don't. The easiest way to cope is to simply focus on what she does for you, and who she is to you. Everything else is just background noise. (Having said that, you will also realize sooner or later that this is just delusion. Compartmentalizing parts of your lives doesn't make them less real. What we do IS part of who we are. So, accept it or not.).

Coincidentally, I was chatting with an MPA a couple days ago who was struggling with a relationship. She's well adjusted, confidant and smart. She said, and I agreed, that you can't have a healthy relationship with a working SP. it just isn't normal or natural. She wouldn't feel right about it, nor would she want a man who was ok with her doing it.

Lastly, trust is absolutely paramount in any relationship. Once it's lost it's never really regained. The fact that LS is wondering about her intentions is a natural concern, but it speaks volumes about the basis of the relationship. That's the reality. BOTH of you will always have the circumstances of how you met at the back of your mind.

Ms Sarah has good advice...just ask her. Communication will be key to making it work

Also keep in mind that SPs create fantasy for a living. It can be difficult to know that's real and what is not, even if you were on your toes and looking out.

IMO, trust in an sp relationship is a lot like religion. Your cognitive thinking tells you that you should know better, but you choose to believe on faith in the person.

Of course, there's a fine line between faith and blind faith. If you're smart, you will keep your eyes and ears open.

Lots to think about.



p.s., many girls are protective about their personal lives. They generally don't socialize with clients unless they feel strongly attracted. Indeed many girls are strict rules against seeing clients socially (of course, other girls socialize freely and see it as a marketing opportunity to lunch or hang out with clients). Maybe it's hard for you to know that this point, LS, but if you had an idea of what type of girl this is, maybe that would give you some insight....

 

[-b]

I find there is more to life than just sex....

People at stuck on the Sex Part....The job part...
So if you are married to a Sex Therapist would you have issue on what
they do.....Or even having a massage by a Massage Therapist
How about a Gynaecologist or any Doctor.....If she was female seeing men clients.....

We humans get stuck on sex....

Just as the other professions have some hands on, well escorting does too......

It is sex, not love ....Why are we freaked when it just bodies doing the animal sex part....

 

[BuzzSaw]

I find there is more to life than just sex....

People at stuck on the Sex Part....The job part...
So if you are married to a Sex Therapist would you have issue on what
they do.....Or even having a massage by a Massage Therapist
How about a Gynaecologist or any Doctor.....If she was female seeing men clients.....

We humans get stuck on sex....

Just as the other professions have some hands on, well escorting does too......

It is sex, not love ....Why are we freaked when it just bodies doing the animal sex part....

You cannot change what is in people's heads. I wouldn't want to have a GF or SO leaving for work knowing she will be with dicks all day. I know some work places have lots of dicks in them but you know what I mean.:biggrin2:

 

[peace]

I think the communication is the key. Perhaps she is in need of some company. Nothing more or less. Apparently she feels comfortable with you Stick. Who knows.

 

[-b]

I think the communication is the key. Perhaps she is in need of some company. Nothing more or less. Apparently she feels comfortable with you Stick. Who knows.

Peace, sometime you are too cute.......:biggrin2: