SP's are just like you and I, they have the same needs and emotions. Different circumstances draws them into the industry, just like there are different reasons why people started getting involved with the hobby. It all comes down to communications and managing expectations.
- Thread starter L._s.
- Start date
Agreed! The best part about being in a relationship with a SP is that the sex is awesome! LoLoki have to disagree that sexwork is "just a job" or that other physically intimate jobs are comparable. That's why many guys seek the "GFE". It's not the sex...it's the emotions that can catch.
Other jobs are creating a physical fantasy AND engaging in sexual intimacy. We can wrap it up in many levels of rationalization. But, it's a very fine line between simulating and actually falling into an emotionally intimate relationship.
Thats the scary part. If your SO is an active SW, it's like dating a firewalker. One day, you WILL get burned simply because she plays with fire everyday....
H
HOF
Guest
A wealth of advice and knowledge in many of these posts. Sex workers are people too, but there is an old adage "Don't shit where you eat!"
"Don't bring your work home with you!"
Charlie Sheen said it best, "We pay them to leave!"
If you had met outside of the industry and after her time and your time in the hobby was over; then possibly because we all have pasts and we all have presents and hopefully futures! From personal experience, both being involved 3x with professionals over the years, it is difficult and ends badly and I've watched others end badly as well."Don't bring your work home with you!"
Charlie Sheen said it best, "We pay them to leave!"
Not that I'm a relationship guru because I'm far from it, Christ I can't even pick a normal civvie chick, I just attract crazy bitches! Always fun for awhile but ends dramatically.
R
Robintheboywonder
Guest
I would look at it as a fun ride and nothing more. Going out for a few drinks, movie and Mcdonalds for a Sundae isn't a big deal and if she licks you ice cream cone afterwards at no charge it's a bonus.
This is a Profession. If some can not see that well there is no changing their minds....but your mind set is what is causing this to be a problem.....
With the Gay Movement, People would not accept it but now there is more awareness ...But Escorting is a Profession, just as any other Profession, the way you think of it effects it....the way some people talk about it and so on....
Some have said they have been in a relationship with SWs and it did not work....well do you say that when you go out with a Nurse or Maid or Lawyer or Therapist....her Profession cause her to be
difficult, crazy etc......Do you say don't go out with Female Therapist because they are crazy......because you know the saying if you are a therapist you have some mental issues you are trying to fix......or Lawyer she would be a back stabling Blood Sucker.....
Do you not separate there Profession and the Person......
Your mind set feeds the negative opinions of this Profession...
To me it is not what the Profession is but who the Person is...
Their Heart and Soul......
Now if you do not like my opinion that is fine, I am who I am, there are others like me who can separate the Profession and the Person.....This is where the Profession gets stuck...and the people with this mindset are doing more harm than good to the profession....
To me it compares to India and the Untouchables...That is how I see this ......
With the Gay Movement, People would not accept it but now there is more awareness ...But Escorting is a Profession, just as any other Profession, the way you think of it effects it....the way some people talk about it and so on....
Some have said they have been in a relationship with SWs and it did not work....well do you say that when you go out with a Nurse or Maid or Lawyer or Therapist....her Profession cause her to be
difficult, crazy etc......Do you say don't go out with Female Therapist because they are crazy......because you know the saying if you are a therapist you have some mental issues you are trying to fix......or Lawyer she would be a back stabling Blood Sucker.....
Do you not separate there Profession and the Person......
Your mind set feeds the negative opinions of this Profession...
To me it is not what the Profession is but who the Person is...
Their Heart and Soul......
Now if you do not like my opinion that is fine, I am who I am, there are others like me who can separate the Profession and the Person.....This is where the Profession gets stuck...and the people with this mindset are doing more harm than good to the profession....
To me it compares to India and the Untouchables...That is how I see this ......
- Thread starter
- #27
Thank you everybody for your advice. I think it is too complicated. I do like her and I think that we click socially.
I told her that it would be too difficult for me to have a relationship with a sex worker.
Tough decision - I would definitely go out with her if she was not an SP (Smart, funny, pretty). I think that if I moved forward with a relationship it would just end in a disaster. Logically - it would never work - I don't need to complicate my life further. But in the back of my mind, perhaps I should have gone out with her a few times and perhaps got a few "freebies" (But then she would know my true identity, where I live, etc. ---- so not worth the risk - also not "nice" behaviour).
I told her that it would be too difficult for me to have a relationship with a sex worker.
Tough decision - I would definitely go out with her if she was not an SP (Smart, funny, pretty). I think that if I moved forward with a relationship it would just end in a disaster. Logically - it would never work - I don't need to complicate my life further. But in the back of my mind, perhaps I should have gone out with her a few times and perhaps got a few "freebies" (But then she would know my true identity, where I live, etc. ---- so not worth the risk - also not "nice" behaviour).
WHat was her reaction/response?
ahhh, phuck it.
Take her a fun dinner in little Italy, then swing by the Beach at sunset, park at the boardwalk and have her ride your boney pokey until she shivers with satisfaction. Then talk about it over breakfast. After morning sex.
Bliss, you're right that a job shouldn't colour our relationships, but the reality is, most of us chose our professions. It ain't random and it is related to our personalities. Even if our don't accept that, what we do day in and day out inevitably changes us. Every SP I know has admitted this to some degree or another. Hell, just as those who have know me since childhood. I often get accused to turning arguments into cross-examinations.
You can say that about other Professions eg Police..... A person who wants to help others, they are changed from a few years in the force.....become a bit more jade with people.....
Teachers, who go into a field with all the wants to educate then reality hits them after a few years in....parents blaming them, kids not listening, not enough support from the community or parents or even their Profession....
Social Workers, who time and time again go into homes of abused kids, parents are alcoholics, druggies, abusers....Social Workers get jaded.....
There are more jobs out there than sitting in a cubical....where you deal with people face to face...People with issues.....on an everyday business.....
I do not think you are born to a profession....I do not think most individuals know what their professions will be, even some people will go through 20ty years of one Profession to decide they want to change their Profession......
People change....does not matter who they are....where they work or what Profession.....
There are Professions out there just as Escorting that people get Jaded.....
oldguyzer
Reviewer
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- Jun 19, 2011
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Everyone will give you different advice on the age-old debate of being in a relationship, serious or casual, with an SP/MPA. If she leaves the business because of you, that's one thing, but putting up with someone in the business requires a very different attitude. All I can tell you is it's worth it when you can make it work.:biggrin2:
- Thread starter
- #34
She was not very nice - used a few f-bombs and hung-up. Quite out of character from my previous interactions. Hopefully I do not have to change my hobby number - (Shit that will take $100 out of my hobby budget this month). Hopefully she will read these posts to fully understand my dilema. It is me not her - I could not be in a relationship with an SP. Nor do I have the tolerances for the risk / social stigma of dating an SP.
I can still pick up civilians and have been in relationships since my separation. The "free sex" out there usually comes with a lot of baggage that is why I use SPs. Still have not found the right one.. Life goes on.
I still feel like a pussy for not trying to have some fun - it was in my TDL when I was younger. But thinking it through I beleive I made the right decision.
One of my friends dated a stripper. He was an investment banker. She would not leave him alone at work and left nasty messages for him and his assistant when the relationship started to end, even used his blackberry to arrange buying drugs. In that industry dating a stripper is a badge of honour. In my field, it would be the kiss of death....
- Thread starter
- #36
This alone tells you that the right decision was made LittleStick. Any disagreements would have ended up with 'f-bombs" being hurdled your way and this can be very embarrassing in mixed company.
- Thread starter
- #38
Unless in it is in the bedroom.
- Thread starter
- #39
I understand what you are saying - but I can not seperate the person from the profession. There is also a lot of social stigma - complexities. I could not be in a relationship with her if she was still in the profession. How do you ask someone at the beginning of the relationship to give up their job for you.
There are also a lot of other issues.
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