Sex Injuries....

[-b]

I am bored......

I was thinking of so funny things....

So sex injuries....funny ones or funny stories with sex injuries...

Broken Penis, Swallowing a Condom during Oral,
Inserting something up the butt and not finding it....

So here is a list I found....

The top 9 most common injuries at home during sex:
1. Crick – (typical for us older folks who rediscovered parts of the body we had otherwise forgotten existed)
2. Back injury – (lifting heavy objects should be done with the legs)
3. Sprain – (slow steady motion not quick jerky unless preconditioned)
4. Trachelism – (spasm of the neck muscles apparently while attempting to lick their elbow)
5. Broken elbows / knees – (wtf? no data or visual input perhaps for knees but elbows?)
6. Bruised shoulder – (head board padding would be appropriate)
7. Dislocated knee – (the style is called doggy not galloping horsy)
8. Sprained wrist – (refer to #3 also pushups help strengthen older bodies to help support weight while on top)
9. Stretching the ankles – (legs are not meant to fit behind the head like that)

 

[Butch]

Where did you get this info?

Broken Penis, Swallowing a Condom during Oral,
Inserting something up the butt and not finding it....

 

[Skipper]

I don't do doggy anymore :biggrin2:

 

[Shiek]

Charley horses

 

[celticman]

Fractured ego.

 

[Art Mann]

Ohhh ... bet that hurts.

 

[-b]

Dislocated knee from doggie style...:don'twantto-see:/

 

[Dave - WebGuy]

Charley horses

That's about as close as I've experienced personally (more than once). Massive leg cramp at the most inopportune time.

What I'd give though to see the look on my face during that lol

 

[oldguyzer]

Reduced libido...

 

[Shiek]

That's about as close as I've experienced personally (more than once). Massive leg cramp at the most inopportune time.

What I'd give though to see the look on my face during that lol

She thought I was having an orgasm by the look on my face and the stiffness of my body Damn-Not too smart

 

[oldguyzer]

Keep in mind the most common causes of heart fibrillation are sneezes and orgasms. So avoid sneezing to save your heart! :sorry2:

 

[Fatso]

Says who :-Cool/"

9. Stretching the ankles – (legs are not meant to fit behind the head like that)

 

[Cardinal Fang]

That's about as close as I've experienced personally (more than once). Massive leg cramp at the most inopportune time.

What I'd give though to see the look on my face during that lol

Been there done that have the review on Molly Robinson to prove it.

I got one for you all.

Going down on an Amish midget I had so much enthusiasm for the act I swallowed the stud of her piercing.

 

[oldguyzer]

You sure that wasn't her kidneystone? :biggrin2:

 

[RAWD]

She bit me.

 

[Bugsbunny]

The top 9 most common injuries at home during sex:
1. Crick – (typical for us older folks who rediscovered parts of the body we had otherwise forgotten existed)

I always thought a crick was the sound made made a Japanese camera.

 

[-b]

Where did you get this info?

Broken Penis, Swallowing a Condom during Oral,
Inserting something up the butt and not finding it....

Those I found on line, one of the magazine.....

I always thought a crick was the sound made made a Japanese camera.

:no: ;/Waving:// Hi Bugsbunny.....

 

[redvelvet]

This isn't exactly an injury, but the information contained may help you out one day!

A condom blows inside you

What to do?
Go to Ask.com (all the information you would ever need)
Answer: Jump Up and Down - It works! :don'twantto-see:/

 

[oldguyzer]

A condom blows inside you

What to do?
Go to Ask.com (all the information you would ever need)
Answer: Jump Up and Down - It works! :don'twantto-see:/

A vaccum cleaner works too :biggrin2:

 

[-b]

A vaccum cleaner works too :biggrin2:

you are a secret vacuum lover ain't you....How many do you have hiden
away.......:biggrin2: