Sex Injuries....

[oldguyzer]

you are a secret vacuum lover ain't you....How many do you have hiden
away.......:biggrin2:

You think a Dyson is powerful? You ain't met Oldguyzer. I've been told I suck big time! :-Cool/"

 

[Cardinal Fang]

You sure that wasn't her kidneystone? :biggrin2:

Completely sure. I "passed it" four days later. She didn't want it back.

 

[redvelvet]

A vaccum cleaner works too :biggrin2:

Only if I get to try it on you first Sweetie :SayWhat?:

 

[-b]

You think a Dyson is powerful? You ain't met Oldguyzer. I've been told I suck big time! :-Cool/"

You suck....that why you hanging out with Peace and Madman....You are
a good Sucker....Also Big Time....well I thought Madman and Peace are 3 to 5 Inches in
length....that Big Time to You....:LMAO::sorry2:

 

[oldguyzer]

You suck....that why you hanging out with Peace and Madman....You are
a good Sucker....Also Big Time....well I thought Madman and Peace are 3 to 5 Inches in
length....that Big Time to You....:LMAO::sorry2:

Wow, such vitriol! I don't "hang out" with anyone...and 3 to 5 inches, well, I can only dream :biggrin2:

 

[-b]

Wow, such vitriol! I don't "hang out" with anyone...and 3 to 5 inches, well, I can only dream :biggrin2:

I am starting to like you.....do you need a Maid?
Shhhh...don't let Madman know.....I come with a group of women...
Don't worry we can entertain ourselves....:666:

 

[oldguyzer]

I am starting to like you.....do you need a Maid?
Shhhh...don't let Madman know.....I come with a group of women...
Don't worry we can entertain ourselves....:666:

Got maids. But groups of women are welcome. I have a well-stocked wine cellar and a big screen projector with a kickass audio system to compensate for my other more obvious inadequacies. The ladies keep telling me size doesn't really matter, but the sniggering still hurts and teh pointing in public is humiliating :Crying2:

 

[redvelvet]

Got maids. But groups of women are welcome. I have a well-stocked wine cellar and a big screen projector with a kickass audio system to compensate for my other more obvious inadequacies. The ladies keep telling me size doesn't really matter, but the sniggering still hurts and teh pointing in public is humiliating :Crying2:

Oh dear sweetie, size really doesn't matter, do you have a Dyson or a Shark...........
Oh penis size!
That doesn't matter either, now the Dyson or Shark can help........but I suck much better than any vacuum.....

 

[oldguyzer]

Oh dear sweetie, size really doesn't matter, do you have a Dyson or a Shark...........

I got several Dysons. They keep up the suction not matter how full they are :biggrin2:

but I suck much better than any vacuum.....

I dunno...the Dyson doesn't need to sleep at night and I don't have to pretend I care how it feels :sorry2:

 

[-b]

I got several Dysons. They keep up the suction not matter how full they are :biggrin2:
I dunno...the Dyson doesn't need to sleep at night and I don't have to pretend I care how it feels :sorry2:

Madman won't let me use the vacuum.....he wants me to beat the rugs....it hard work...
So you are thinking about me being your Personal Helper then......( just Joking Right):biggrin2:

 

[plumber]

injuries

injuries

I am bored......

I was thinking of so funny things....

So sex injuries....funny ones or funny stories with sex injuries...

Broken Penis, Swallowing a Condom during Oral,
Inserting something up the butt and not finding it....

So here is a list I found....

The top 9 most common injuries at home during sex:
1. Crick – (typical for us older folks who rediscovered parts of the body we had otherwise forgotten existed)
2. Back injury – (lifting heavy objects should be done with the legs)
3. Sprain – (slow steady motion not quick jerky unless preconditioned)
4. Trachelism – (spasm of the neck muscles apparently while attempting to lick their elbow)
5. Broken elbows / knees – (wtf? no data or visual input perhaps for knees but elbows?)
6. Bruised shoulder – (head board padding would be appropriate)
7. Dislocated knee – (the style is called doggy not galloping horsy)
8. Sprained wrist – (refer to #3 also pushups help strengthen older bodies to help support weight while on top)
9. Stretching the ankles – (legs are not meant to fit behind the head like that)

10 DONT FORGET ABOUT THE BROKEN "PIPE" OR PENIS LIKE YOU GUYS CALL IT LOL

 

[oldguyzer]

10 DONT FORGET ABOUT THE BROKEN "PIPE" OR PENIS LIKE YOU GUYS CALL IT LOL

Yeah, we call it a "penis". What do you call it?

 

[Cardinal Fang]

Yeah, we call it a "penis". What do you call it?

Tally-wacker?

 

[Transient]

Tally-wacker?

The "pope"?