Still making friends...Or not! Suspect I will really light up the board tonight...

[Anneliese]

When I made my first forays into pursuing this business, I was completely appalled by the fact that men ACTUALLY went online and reviewed an SP's performance. It seemed to me to be such a breach of intimacy and trust. And the fact that the women allowed and welcomed it was even more shocking to me. I suspect they feel they have no choice. I have pondered what and why this has all come about, and it finally hit me...It is about power and control particularly men trying to gain some.

Let's face it, women have always been the gatekeepers to sex, particularly in marriage and relationships, and I see this silly review scheme as a means for men to stroke their egos into thinking they have some power and control over women. And in a way they do, I hear of men bribing SPs for lower fees in exchange for a good review, I hear of men utilizing the review system to bear retribution on a provider that has displeased them in some way. Many circumstances in which power and control are made manifest.

There is a subtle thread of sexism that permeates these boards, and is increasingly felt and expressed when one (particularly female) makes the mistake of expressing any comments that could be construed as "feminist" in perspective. So one begs the question, why? Why would someone want to reduce an intimate, sexual experience to an analytical deduction of subjective ratings?

it seems ludicrous to me! Any intimate experience between two individuals will vary based on who they are, and the level of attraction one might feel for the other, the enthusiasm of the participants, the ability of both individuals to fully let go and experience the rapture of the moment. But to then try and quantify something that is purely subjective is meaningless and ultimately useless. I have found myself on many occasions attracted to individuals I thought I never would be, mainly because their intellect, conversation or personality was so dynamic as to entice me entirely. Likewise,

I have been pursued by the most beautiful of men, but their vibe, and personality was so narcissistic and toxic, they appeared hideous to me. So appearances aside, the dynamic connection between two individuals will ultimately determine the success or not of the encounter. Now I am more than willing to admit that I am completely biased by my gender and philosophical perspective, so I welcome anyone to let me know what it is I am not getting about this, to challenge my theory of power and control. I want to understand. I guess I just don't get how someone else's positive or negative intimate experience with another could dictate the outcome of your own given the myriad variables involved... But I am willing to listen.


Anneliese

 

[Pullmyfinger]

Paragraphing would help. I don't have my eye glasses so hard to read what you are saying.

 

[jumpingjackflash]

I will take a crack at the answer. You see Anna, before review boards us guys would get literally ripped off by the ladies. We would put out the money and get mechanical bam wam race to the end kind of service. Now most of the time we get our money's worth.

We are paying and we don't want to leave the encounter crying about the money we have spent. Our part is to be clean,respectful with a white envelope , the providers part is to provide what she advertises. The boards keep the industry honest in my opinion.

 

[-b]

Hon, as a woman....(Yes guys...a woman)....at first I found the rating of escorts very
upsetting ...because I felt that the escorts should also rate the gentleman too..:LMAO:
But if you look at this as a business, the serve is Sex, I really Hate to say it...
but in Business on line now there are reviews......

But....there is always a but.....I do feel that, there are some gentlemen, who don't write
reviews because they feel a connection with an escort they are with......but some write
for many reasons......and you are right on some of the points.......

Reviews attracts business.......Some escorts I have been with asked me to write reviews..but I
do not anymore because it is personal to me....

It either a Business or Personal......I think most men, not all, look at it as Business...

Never be afraid of expressing what you feel....You have every right too.....I agree with points you
made but I think that Escorting , Reviewing, etc, is just evolving , growing and to me I see it slowly changing for the better......Baby Steps.....:writing:

 

[redvelvet]

I too bit my tongue at the rating system.

But, what I have come to learn is this:

This is not your Lover, SO, or Boyfriend reviewing you.

These are Hobbyists paying for a service.

As Blissful said, a business, like any other business.

When I buy anything online today I always look for the review, from dresses to computers.

So why wouldn't Hobbyists review the girls they see, and others choose from the reviews?

I have found on other sites reviews that are tainted, "you give it to me free and I will give you a good review" but consider the source.
If you find that happening here, complain right away, and it will be stopped.

Most men want honest reviews not phony ones.

It makes perfect sense, just like buying a Dell, but no warranty!

 

[papasmerf]

You Millage may Vary

is about the most honest review any one can give.

 

[oldguyzer]

See, if women rated men the way men rated women (both in and out of the business)....oh, wait....you do! :sorry2:

 

[IFUSEEKAMY]

I love reading reviews. I love reading anything written by people I know intimately. When the subject matter is myself, it just makes me blush and giggle more. I consider myself fortunate to have marvellous sweeties who respect me immensely so maybe I'm biased...blessed...whatever.

I hope you are able to find something positive on this board Anneliese.

 

[oldguyzer]

I'd say she's not off to a great start in the past week....

 

[RAWD]

I will take a crack at the answer. You see Anna, before review boards us guys would get literally ripped off by the ladies. We would put out the money and get mechanical bam wam race to the end kind of service. Now most of the time we get our money's worth.

We are paying and we don't want to leave the encounter crying about the money we have spent. Our part is to be clean,respectful with a white envelope , the providers part is to provide what she advertises. The boards keep the industry honest in my opinion.

Bang on! Back in the day when hobbying consisted of wandering through dark alleys, the power was all in the hands of the SP. Bait and switch, upselling in session, shorting sessions were commonplace. It's hard enough for some guys to walk away once they've committed to going to a spa/incall; imagine how hard it is to say no once you're naked and your dick is already in her mouth?

Members who have joined review boards in the past five years or less wouldn't have seen this. It still happens of course. But, guys who are on the boards know better and tend to stick to the reputable places. But also because review boards have fundamentally changed.

The focus has shifted from hobbyists sharing reviews to improve the hobbying experience to promoting the industry as a business. Boards want to encourage ladies to participate so they discourage negative reviews. Advertisers complain about allowing negative reviews of their spas/agencies and they expect that paying their dues entitles them to some degree of censorship.

I too bit my tongue at the rating system.

But, what I have come to learn is this:

This is not your Lover, SO, or Boyfriend reviewing you.

These are Hobbyists paying for a service.

As Blissful said, a business, like any other business.

When I buy anything online today I always look for the review, from dresses to computers.

So why wouldn't Hobbyists review the girls they see, and others choose from the reviews?

I have found on other sites reviews that are tainted, "you give it to me free and I will give you a good review" but consider the source.
If you find that happening here, complain right away, and it will be stopped.

Most men want honest reviews not phony ones.

It makes perfect sense, just like buying a Dell, but no warranty!

Also bang on! I look on-line for reviews before I make most purchases, from watches to cars to winter jackets. Knowledge is power and an informed consumer is a protected consumer.

I'd say she's not off to a great start in the past week....

Who knows. Maybe she just likes to understand the human psyche. In some respects, she is absolutely right. Guys who shill or troll are exercising some form of power. The act of paying for sex arguably create a power relationship (is it the buyer who wields the power as the customer, or the provider who controls the "goods"?).

I just hope that she is open to considering all these viewpoints before forming her opinion.

 

[oldguyzer]

One can only hope for intelligence on the part of board members...and providers. Otherwise these boards and their discussions become tiresome (after a while!)...

 

[tboy]

I disagree about it being about power over women.....(in most cases)....who has the power here? certainly not us men that's for sure. The op even states outright that women have had control over sex since...forever.

I think the OP has never seen this side of the equation (men) and not really looked at it from our perspective. As stated, we used to peruse the backpages from the local rags and from first hand experience, we continually got ripped off. What you would read, hot 23 yr old 34 22 34, would turn out to be 40 yr old 40 40 40 with more chins than a chinese phonebook and if you dared turn her away at the door? guido the killer pimp would come barging in.....

Also as stated, I think the review process has improved business across the board. Now ripoff agencies and indies are put out there for all to see and that doesn't just benefit the guys, but the sp's as well. I mean, if you're a lady who provides excellant service, we don't have to just take your word for it, we now have other's experience to back it up. Let's face it, paying $250 an hour and up isn't a drop in the bucket either.

Yes it is an intimate act between two consenting adults and I have always had a hard time writing a review that sounds like a penthouse forum letter. I usually just stuck to the facts and gave a rating so that others can have an idea what to expect. Sure, there will always be people trying to ruin the system by offering good reviews for reduced fees etc but for the most part, the system works. I know I've saved countless thousands by doing a little research and even an sp has to acknowledge that it is a benefit.

I know I KNOW, the old story that this isn't a business like any other and while that is partially true, it IS a business. I wish there were review boards for ALL businesses, namely carpenters. I know us respectible, honest and hard working guys would greatly benefit from this type of thing.....

BTW: if any sp is approached by a guy and he tries to coerce her into doing things to get a good review, you do have recourse.....most reputible boards will allow you to voice your experience and there are also boards for the ladies to put names on a BCL....(bad client list).

As for feminist comments....personally I don't care if you have boobs or a penis, if you say something I don't agree with then I'll tell it to you straight. I've been called a misogynist simply because I don't cowtow to the all mighty pussy. Maybe the problem isn't that we're misogynist, maybe it's the concept that at least here, and in this business, we don't have to treat women like the fragile pretty little princesses that many think they should be. I have never been treated like a king by a woman so therefore, why should I treat them like queens and princesses?

One more thing: I equate these boards like the locker room at a men's club. If women want to hang out here, then they have to accept that fact. There are enough places on the net where guys can't or won't speak their minds and treat women as equals, IMO, this isn't one of those places. If you want to hang out with the guys, then be prepared to be treated as one. I know I've pissed off a LOT of women because I treat them as equals and no different than I do the guys. I know that's shocked a few of them. Sorry, but women fought long and hard for equality and I have accepted that wholeheartedly. I know it rankles a few feathers but if women are equal to men in all things, then they are equal to men in all things, not some things, not some things but some others, in ALL things.....

So welcome to the locker room.....better learn quickly how to scratch your balls and get used to the smell of beer farts because that's what goes on here lol.....

 

[tboy]

Just one more thing: I've been banned from forums like eharmony and match.com because I treat women no differently than I treat men. One time I was banned because a women called me an asshole and I retorted with calling her a bitch. I got banned yet she didn't....IMO all that does is perpetuate the stereotype that women are somehow more fragile than men and that they still do own the world because they own the pussy.......

 

[Madman]

So welcome to the locker room.....better learn quickly how to scratch your balls and get used to the smell of beer farts because that's what goes on here lol.....

Mine are bean generated from last nights chilly. :blush2:

Annaliese, I'm sure once you receive your first review if positive you will be smiling from ear to ear as the phone starts to ring and ring, cha-ching. The review board if researched will enable you to put forth your 'A" game which is what will be needed to dazzle the client. Don't fight it, learn what is expected and turn it into a positive experience.$$$

 

[peace]

re: Don't spend more time complaining about something than you spend trying to fix it. It's just bad math, and a misdirection of your resources. If you feel you can't fix or understand it, create an alternative, so as not to remain frustrknated.

This is really good advice and I should try my best to follow it. Yet it s a challenge sometimes....

 

[Madman]

Can I order the Coles Notes version of the Annaliese/tboy showdown online somewhere?

You supply the pop-corn and I shall bring the wine!:spiteful2:

 

[TINY]

You've been drinking and typing again?

 

[Madman]

Should I wear the gas mask, or the HAZMAT suit?

It was only beans, um *sniff* hmm yeah ....wear the gas mask.:blush2:

 

[Coxwell]

... I see this silly review scheme as a means for men to stroke their egos into thinking they have some power and control over women. And in a way they do, I hear of men bribing SPs for lower fees in exchange for a good review, I hear of men utilizing the review system to bear retribution on a provider that has displeased them in some way.

That's true for some guys who use reviews to take down a woman and feel they've paid for that right, but the majority on a respectful board like HUBGFE aren't playing that game.
It sounds like you've had bad experiences on other boards, try coming on here with a more open attitude to those who pay for sex.
Reviews have allowed us to buy with our eyes open and with less fear, surely you can see this benefits both sides?

 

[L._s.]

Those are some interesting thoughts.

IMO, this is a business - The review system is like reviewing a product or service. That is it - nothing more.

If SP's provided this service for free - I then would totally agree with your comment.

The grey area - Sometimes there is some intimacy between the SP and the John. From the John's perspective - he is not sure if SP is being sincere or just part of her service / act of providing a good time. However, if there was some intimate aspect that the John believes is true - I think the John should consider not disclosing the specifics in a review.

From the John's perspective - shelling out $250 to $300 per hour is a lot of money. There is also a time commitment. I try and do research so I am not disappointed. I have gone in just based on pictures and description "about me" and the personality and look / service is totally not what is claimed - waste of time and money.

I think the review boards are good. The SPs that perform well are recognized and get more business. In addition, there are a few reviewers that have similar tastes to you. You know if those reviewers recommend someone, 9 / 10 times the recommended sp will be good.

With respect to reviewers that are not honest - that is another issue. The Mods have to do something. I will try and think about something over the weekend.