oldguyzer said:
Stupidity and ignorance knows no bounds.
+1
@Cristy;
It's really confusing when you find out that someone you love and/or respect holds such hateful views because the regard in which you held them (prior to finding out) often comes into question as you question their skewed values against what you have come to love/respect about them in an effort to make sense of how this particular person could have such a badly deluded moral fiber.
This often sobering experience in opposing moral values happened to me a lot growing up as I began dating "outside of my race" and in doing so came to find that many of my family members were in fact prejudice; something I never knew, or had even imagined could be possible before it was a major source of conflict between us... What I did was stand up for what I believe in, which is equality, and tried to respectfully voice my views/concerns whenever their contradictory comments began. What I learned was that you cannot reach a point of rationality with people who are irrational within their views and opinions. My family could provide nothing to justify or lend credit to their plight, less to say "you just don't do that" and frequently raise question "if you had a child together, what would it be?" in their attempts to finalize the discussion. Nothing I ever said could change their minds or influence their opinions in any way.
What finally did change their minds was my giving birth to a beautiful baby boy who's 1/2 spanish, and in turn answering their question through his birth that "if we had a baby" he would be; a baby, a part of our family, their grandson/great grandson, our greatest treasure, their joy, a source of pride, and so many other blessed things which a baby brings to the world, but it was only after his birth that they 'got it' and became accepting of interracial couples- that was a 10 year process of enduring their hatred before it was finally changed through the process of love.
As to your friend; IMO, it's up to you whether or not you choose to associate with this person any longer.
If they're family, you're pretty much stuck with them; but if they're not, you're free to do as you so choose as far as any further associations are concerned...
As for me personally, I've been friends with people who are racist with the understanding that they keep their views and opinions to themselves, just as I have done with those persons in my life who happen to be deeply religious. Because the views/values they hold are not my own, I ask simply that they keep these things to themselves to ensure our relationship isn't strained by our differing opinions, and in doing so I've come to learn that if someone respects me enough they will abide my request without issue (and apologize very sincerely should they ever slip up) and where anyone decides to hold their views/opinions above the value of our friendship I just let them go as there is loss incurred because IMO they are of little value as friends if they cannot respect me and my personal boundaries.
they have their minds made up.
