The hobby and your relationship?

[oldguyzer]

Look who's talking, Ms. "Media articles on Bill C-36 Everywhere" Sarah. :wink2:

LIke, yeah! Like, stop it! You're only allowed to post on the one true board. Like, ok? Like, we're Gold. And they, like, aren't. Whatever.

 

[BuryTheWeasel]

LIke, yeah! Like, stop it! You're only allowed to post on the one true board. Like, ok? Like, we're Gold. And they, like, aren't. Whatever.

Gold wins.

 

[User-E]

Interestingly, I've posted this same thread in 2 other boards, and so far, the mix of answers here are quite different than in the other two boards. The leading response is also quite different than in the other two boards.

So far, after 18 responses, by far the leading answer is the Secret-Unhappy man, with exactly 50% of responses, followed by the Secret-Happy man with 28%, and the Single man with 22% close behind. In the other boards, the leading answer is Secret-Happy, followed by Single, followed by Secret-Unhappy. Not sure what to make of these results so far, for this board. I'm sure there are some theories out there, though. :wink2:

Can you update us on the poll results - including the ones from 'other' boards? :wink2:

 

[blackram]

Can you update us on the poll results - including the ones from 'other' boards? :wink2:

I will, but possibly only at the end of it. The polls automatically close at the end of 30 days, after the poll was posted.

 

[Blank_Dave]

What is a relationship?

 

[papasmerf]

What is a relationship?

Family reunion on a 5 day/ 4night cruise?

 

[oldguyzer]

Family reunion on a 5 day/ 4night cruise?

I thought that was a marriage?

 

[papasmerf]

I thought that was a marriage?

nope, that is what you see when you been stuck on the dessert, too long.

 

[LickingGravity]

I don't hobby while in a relationship. It happens I am in one now so no answers are applicable.

 

[blackram]

Well, the poll is now closed, and we can now summarize it. There were 31 votes. This poll was also posted in two other hobbyist boards, we'll call them Treb & Creb. :wink2: I'll summarize our results and compare them to the other two boards later.

• By far, the majority of participants are unhappily married, and they keep this hobby a secret from their spouses, this is 45.2% of all participants.
• The next major category of participants are happily married people, but who keep this secret from their SO's. 29% of participants fall into this category.
• Not too far behind, are the single people. They aren't in a relationship, therefore they are doing this with a clear conscience with nobody to keep this a secret from! 25.8% of participants are here.
• And the final two categories were the lucky individuals who are in this hobby with the blessing of their partners, and in some cases their partners also participate with them. There were nobody in either of these two categories, here!

Now, I promised to compare our results to the other two hobbyist boards. I can safely say that this board is truly unique amongst all of the boards, and I'm not just saying that to pander either! The final results here did not match either of the other two boards at all. In both Treb & Creb, the largest category of participants were "Happily Married but keeping it Secret" types. In both boards, this category were over 50% of all participants (Treb: 50.8%; Creb: 54.8%). This category was our second largest, but far behind from the Treb & Creb results.

In the other two boards, the second biggest category were the Single people, it both cases too. Also their percentages were pretty close between them, Treb @ 36.4%, and Creb @ 34.6%. The Singles were our third highest category at 25.8%, this was the closest we got to matching up with Treb & Creb numbers.

The third category at the other two are "Unhappily Married" types, and this category is way far behind. Less than 10% each identified with this on Treb & Creb (8.6% & 7.7%, respectively), but here it was our largest category @ 45%!

Then on the fringes, were the ones who are in relationships, and their SO's with full knowledge & agreement, either Passively or Actively, letting them do it. Between the two categories combined, this was less than 5% in all boards (it was completely 0% for our board).

In conclusion, I'm not sure what to think of this heavy divergence from the other two boards. One interpretation, might be that we're a more hard-core type of hobbyist here. We have more miserable lives at home (unhappily married being largest category), and we use this hobby as an outlet.

Quite conversely, another interpretation might be that we're a less hard-core type of hobbyist here. During the course of this poll, some people expressed a desire to vote for "I don't participate in this hobby at the moment", a choice that wasn't even presented. Nobody ever asked for this in the other two boards, but it was asked here. This makes me believe that maybe a large percentage of participants in this board aren't hobbyists. Anecdotally, it seems obvious that a lot of the participants are using this as an adult-oriented social media network of a type, and the range of discussions go beyond just sexual discussions. So that would mean that the group of people who are hobbyists here are more hard-core, but that maybe the general population aren't hobbyists.

 

[User-E]

Well, the poll is now closed, and we can now summarize it. ...

In conclusion, I'm not sure what to think of this heavy divergence from the other two boards. One interpretation, might be that we're a more hard-core type of hobbyist here. We have more miserable lives at home (unhappily married being largest category), and we use this hobby as an outlet.

Quite conversely, another interpretation might be that we're a less hard-core type of hobbyist here. During the course of this poll, some people expressed a desire to vote for "I don't participate in this hobby at the moment", a choice that wasn't even presented. Nobody ever asked for this in the other two boards, but it was asked here. This makes me believe that maybe a large percentage of participants in this board aren't hobbyists. Anecdotally, it seems obvious that a lot of the participants are using this as an adult-oriented social media network of a type, and the range of discussions go beyond just sexual discussions. So that would mean that the group of people who are hobbyists here are more hard-core, but that maybe the general population aren't hobbyists.

Thanks so much for remembering to post your results! :good:

My research supports your theory that we have a higher percentage of members who aren't active in the industry - both male and female, and I agree that HUBGFE does function as a Social Media outlet - the industry version of FB. That could explain why we have a much more friendly, socialable atmosphere here, compared to most other industry forums.

We also have a lot of American members, which would explain why they aren't active in the Canadian industry.

HUBGFE is much more than just a great review board and if we can figure out how to deal with the new laws, I think it has a lot of potential for the future.

 

[bobistheowl]

You might get completely different results, if you placed your poll in a forum, other than The Lobby, or whatever they call the discussion area on those other boards of which you speak.

Guys who make most of their posts in a Review section are a completely different demographic, just like guys who drink Gatorade and spit most of it on their chests between whistles are different from guys who drink it, on the couch, watching those other guys on TV.

For me, I never hobby when in a relationship, because I only get into relationships with women who are capable of commanding my undivided attention. When I don't have one like that, I create a composite, where I have some needs filled by one woman, and other needs filled by others. For me, a creative muse is more valuable than day to day companionship. I never wanted to be one of those guys who settled for something he didn't really want, because he felt he was supposed to. I know a lot of women who stimulate me intellectually, but I don't find them sufficiently attractive physically to maintain eye contact in a public place. In cases where I'm with someone who has that ability, I don't have to give those others up, and, in fact, I can introduce the one to the others, and I don't have to worry if they talk to each other, when I'm not around.

For the women who appeal to me physically only, it's easy to give them up. There are others who could serve that same function, if needed. If a woman is appealing to me both physically and mentally, she probably has that same effect on a lot of other guys, some of whom I can't compete with, on an equal basis. The buying price is too high, but some rent by the hour or two, and that can fill the gap, during a slump.

 

[User-E]

You might get completely different results, if you placed your poll in a forum, other than The Lobby, or whatever they call the discussion area on those other boards of which you speak.

Guys who make most of their posts in a Review section are a completely different demographic.

Good point. I've heard many hard core reviewers say that they never look at the discussion forums.



Personally - I think they lurk secretly to read what we write, but will never admit it publicly. ;/Waving://

 

[blackram]

You might get completely different results, if you placed your poll in a forum, other than The Lobby, or whatever they call the discussion area on those other boards of which you speak.

Actually, I think I did do that, at least in a few of the other boards. Just a single message notifying them that there is a poll going on in the Lobby, and a link to this thread.

 

[User-E]

Actually, I think I did do that, at least in a few of the other boards. Just a single message notifying them that there is a poll going on in the Lobby, and a link to this thread.

I'll bet that Chris Atchison from John's Voice/SexSafetySecurity would be interested in your results. He's the guy who spoke to Parliament about the extensive research he's done regarding the buyer's side of the industry.

https://www.macleans.ca/news/canada...-study-sheds-new-light-on-sex-work-in-canada/

 

[bobistheowl]

Good point. I've heard many hard core reviewers say that they never look at the discussion forums.

In the same way that the guy who gives tips in the locker room, after gym class, usually doesn't show up, when invited to play Dungeons and Dragons.

 

[blackram]

Good point. I've heard many hard core reviewers say that they never look at the discussion forums.



Personally - I think they lurk secretly to read what we write, but will never admit it publicly. ;/Waving://

Well, I did post all of these in the general discussion groups of each board, and posted a notice in various review groups of those same forums.

I'm personally not too interested in anything other than reviews on those other boards myself. But here, I'm much more often in the general groups.

 

[papasmerf]

Well, I did post all of these in the general discussion groups of each board, and posted a notice in various review groups of those same forums.

I'm personally not too interested in anything other than reviews on those other boards myself. But here, I'm much more often in the general groups.

Sounds as if you used a fair criteria for the poll.
And by posting it the same way on each board you maintained a similar cross section at each.

What would be interesting to extract from the polls is if those who voted on multiple boards, voted the same way on each poll.

 

[blackram]

Sounds as if you used a fair criteria for the poll.
And by posting it the same way on each board you maintained a similar cross section at each.

Yup, exactly my goal at the outset.

What would be interesting to extract from the polls is if those who voted on multiple boards, voted the same way on each poll.

That is an interesting question. And judging by the very similar responses from participants in the Creb & Treb boards, my feeling is that it is more or less the exact same crowd -- not just similar, but the exact same people. This board may have a few overlaps, but it seems to be its own unique crowd. Even the overlap crowd seems to act differently around here.

 

[papasmerf]

Yup, exactly my goal at the outset.


That is an interesting question. And judging by the very similar responses from participants in the Creb & Treb boards, my feeling is that it is more or less the exact same crowd -- not just similar, but the exact same people. This board may have a few overlaps, but it seems to be its own unique crowd. Even the overlap crowd seems to act differently around here.

First thing I noticed when I got here was a much more civil atmosphere.

Bickering while it has occurred is kept to a minimal and is discouraged.

I applaud the folks here for keeping it as it is and not like a drunken brawl.