"We're done" is usually the last two words I ever say to anyone I've done, and am done with.
I have slightly different wording, if it's a soon to be former friend, or a family member, but the gist is the same. It usually takes quite a bit, before I write someone off, but when I do, I don't write them back on. I just hang with different people instead.
I don't have any 'friendly exes'. To me, that's like tying a tin can on a string to my ankle; it keeps one from moving on, and trips you up, sometimes.
Once I did dump someone at the end of a 'first fight', during a telephone conversation, but that was a little different; we'd gone out a few times, but hadn't had sex yet, so I pretty much said I wasn't interested in continuing the chase. I could tell from the kind of fight it was that the sex I might get wouldn't be worth what I would have to put up with to get it, so I just bowed out.
I ran into her again about a year and a half later, and she appeared to have forgotten the incident, but I was no longer interested; I could see that unhappiness was inevitable, so why would I want to waste time investing in something I knew would fail, sooner or later?
She was hot, but a bit too petite, for my taste, when she wasn't in heels. She had an interesting part time job as a psychic; she read palms, and she was damned accurate. She knew things she could not possibly have known from just listening to me, or searching through my belongings, like
The Wizard of Oz did to
Dorothy, at the beginning, in black and white.
Her
chiromantic skills
piqued my interest, initially. She was the only exotic dancer I ever dated, (I knew her October, 1990 until February, 1991, I was 29, she was about 26/27), but I went on a single friendly civvie date with two others, where we both knew in advance that it was going to be only once.
If I break up with a civvie woman, I usually try to have sex with a different woman as quickly as possible afterwards, (seven days or less), and that's often when I book with an Escort, and spend money that had been earmarked for someone else. I don't hobby while involved in civvie relationships, but a couple of times, I
bought a piece, after a first date, but before 'third base', when we were still in the 'potential zone', but weren't 'dating' each other yet. To me,
that isn't cheating. Those ladies might have been seeing other guys at the same time, too. I never get involved with two civvie women at the same time, though. That almost guarantees that you will lose both of them, sooner, rather than later.
I have a few civvie lady friends that I did have sex with once or twice, to satisfy a curiosity of both of us, but neither one of us wanted anything more than that. We wanted to know what each other was like in the sack, but we didn't want to spoil the friendship with one sided attachment fantasies. It's a bit like Jerry and Elaine's sexual relationship on Seinfeld, except we weren't vain and self centered like them.
Folks here can fully appreciate that it's very possible to find out everything you could possibly want to know about someone sexually, from having sex with them, only once or twice. The majority of this industry is based entirely on that principle. Some guys just don't get how that same principle makes perfect sense with civvie women that you like, as people, but not enough to like exclusively, and constantly. If you have sex with them once or twice, to eliminate the curiosity factor, on both sides, you can often develop very deep and lasting friendships with women, friendships that don't get fucked up because one person wants to own exclusive rights to the other.
If I already know what my friend is like in the sack, I don't need to fuck her again after a meal, to reacquire that knowledge. It really is that simple.
