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About marriage.
About marriage.
A friend of mine send me this. Enjoy.
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outsidethe door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me...she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office....jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we pushed thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband.
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
About marriage.
A friend of mine send me this. Enjoy.
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outsidethe door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me...she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office....jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we pushed thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband.
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
A
Art Mann
Guest
GOD ... you brought a tear to my eye . . . sniff ...
On a lighter note, as I was reading this tale, I found myself slightly annoyed at the narrator for falling into an affair with Jane, when there are so many charming, intelligent, spunky and gorgeous SPs available to play with, no strings attached. He could have kept his marriage intact.
Then you slipped the sentimental twist into the final chapter, and I went all mushy. Not at the anti-divorce sermon; it was the pro-reality message.
Always let your loved ones know you love them. Mother, father, brother, sister, spouse, partner, child, all of them and more. You never know when reality can yank them right out of your life. Share your love whenever you can and live without regret.
On a lighter note, as I was reading this tale, I found myself slightly annoyed at the narrator for falling into an affair with Jane, when there are so many charming, intelligent, spunky and gorgeous SPs available to play with, no strings attached. He could have kept his marriage intact.
Then you slipped the sentimental twist into the final chapter, and I went all mushy. Not at the anti-divorce sermon; it was the pro-reality message.
To which I would add:
Always let your loved ones know you love them. Mother, father, brother, sister, spouse, partner, child, all of them and more. You never know when reality can yank them right out of your life. Share your love whenever you can and live without regret.
Maurice Boscorelli
Senior Member
- Joined
- May 30, 2010
- Messages
- 19,322
Amen brother.
Well said Art.
J
Jesus Quintana
Guest
A little over a year ago I lost someone very important in my life and I learned that you can never tell someone you love often enough how much you loved them.
And I am man enough to admit that I am in tears now.
And I am man enough to admit that I am in tears now.
P
Prick
Guest
It's ok bud. We all have pains but we also need to understand that we are not perfect. Stay strong.
Blank_Dave
Reviewer
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2010
- Messages
- 1,780
That's why I walk alone. "My shadow's the only one that walks beside me" (Green Day)
J
Jesus Quintana
Guest
It's amazing that this combo wouldn't be able to sing this in our P.C. world. I think it's funny as shit!
H
HOF
Guest
Massimo,
I am not certain all replies would be positive.
I have been divorced over 15 years, she cheated, in fact had another man's offspring inside her and tried to tell me it was mine. I have never cheated on anyone, never cheated on taxes, tests or anything of the kind. I would rather walk away. That's why I have chosen to hobby and seriously never want to be in a committed relationship longer than a week. I don't have the patience or desire to put the effort into something that, for me, isn't important.
That story touches me to a point, but it's incredibly sad that it took such a turn for one to realize what he/she was missing.
Now, I'm not judging anyone that is married and involved in this hobby; it's simply none of my business or concern why others do what they do. I simply am of clear conscience after I drop a load of coin and load of you know what else onto the stomach or derriere of a lovely escort. If it ever comes to scenario, the only person that I could possibly hurt is me, and the stability of life will always be there, and I have walked away from the hobby many times, for various reasons, just hang out on the boards for shits and giggles.
After being the palliative caregiver for my parents, meeting their needs and final wishes, other than employment, I do not desire to ever be tied down to anything ever again.
This may seem selfish, but if you walked a mile in my shoes, you may feel the exact same way.
When I die, my stone will say, "Did it his way, had sex with many and never made any of them miserable."
So true Jesus. I had a friend that still regrets it after 2 years. Hang in there and best wishes.
More to the point, he doesn't want to get hitched. He may meet her, but nothing will come of it if he isn't open to the possibilities.
I disagree. But, I respect HOF's point. His views are formed from his own experiences. Obviously, taking care of his parents is a point of filial pride (as it should be), but watching his parents go hurt a lot. I've gone through that with my grandparents. It was difficult to care for them at the end (and to be honest, my sister and mother did the lions share of the work). Yet, we shared many special moments right to the end.
I'll never forget the last day I visited my grandma at the hospital. By that point, cancer had taken much of her body and she had been robbed of speech. She was too weak to move. I just sat with her and told her about my day. It was just like 20 years ago when I came home from school and shared some milk and cookies with her. When it came time to go, I gave her a kiss on the cheek as I always did. A single tear rolled from her left eye.
Yes, watching her suffer at the end was awful. She was a strong and proud woman and seeing her weakened and in pain was brutal. But that's not what I remember. I think of all the great times, and the happiness we shared.
Maybe I'm idealistic, but I'll gladly accept the hurt of losing someone you love because the good times from loving them more than make up for it.
W
Wanker
Guest
My father died of cancer. He had both legs amputated before his death. Cried every night, lost over 50 lbs. and we were there for him till his death telling him how much we loved him. We were not cheated.
Blank_Dave
Reviewer
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2010
- Messages
- 1,780
