Cardinal Fang's Advice Thread

[IFUSEEKAMY]

Dear Fang,
What is the healthiest way to get my goodies rubbed regularly by appealing people?
Amy

 

[DannyDeVito]

Dear Fang,
What is the healthiest way to get my goodies rubbed regularly by appealing people?
Amy

You are asking a Cardinal that :SayWhat?: :biggrin2:

 

[Cardinal Fang]

Dear Fang,
What is the healthiest way to get my goodies rubbed regularly by appealing people?
Amy

Dearest Amy,

Thank you for the question. My first point would be that you should not limit your goodies to being only rubbed. Given the right circumstances I believe you could benefit from not just a rub but also a cup, a fondle, a slight pinch, a thrashing of the tongue and of course a playful bite followed by sucking. At least that's the impression I was left with the last time I saw your naughty bits. I found that most men would appreciate a good and direct instruction from someone such as you spoken in a sultry yet ironic voice. For instance I've always responded well to "Fang come here and rip me a new one."

In terms of what is the "healthiest way" to have this done I suggest eating an orange during the actual event. This services a dual purpose.

1. You get the Vitamin C + D that we lack in this northern climate and
2. If you're not happy with the person's technique you can use your bra as a sling shot and launch it into his groin as a sign of protest.

If your partner happens to be a female then I suggest substituting the orange with a fresh fruit cocktail. Same outcome applies except that I suggest you smear the fruit cocktail on the other persons body in protest and always make sure you cognoscente of the camera angles while I'm filming.

As always Amy the opinions expressed are mine and not that of HUBGFE and always consult your physician before proceeding.

You are asking a Cardinal that :SayWhat?: :biggrin2:

Dearest Danny,

Shut the fark up! :biggrin2:

 

[oldguyzer]

As always Amy the opinions expressed are mine and not that of HUBGFE and always consult your physician before proceeding. :biggrin2:

Thanks for the referral, your eminence, and the cheque is in the mail. Amy, call me. I have flexible "office" hours and can provide guidance with your issues...

 

[Cardinal Fang]

My pleasure oldguyzer.

As always I'm available to film your encounter should the moment or in this case Amy's orange strike you.

 

[oldguyzer]

My pleasure oldguyzer.

As always I'm available to film your encounter should the moment or in this case Amy's orange strike you.

As always, the epitome of good manners. However, I was hoping, considering the size of the equipment this old fart has, that I could persuade the lovely lady to use a tangerine instead of an orange.

As for teh video, can you do one like the last few with those nice animations during the title sequence?

 

[Madman]

Cardinal, I need to know how I can get away without shovelling when I get home so PLEASE GET YOUR FILTHY mind away from Amy's pink bits and give me answers!

 

[Cardinal Fang]

As always, the epitome of good manners. However, I was hoping, considering the size of the equipment this old fart has, that I could persuade the lovely lady to use a tangerine instead of an orange.

As for teh video, can you do one like the last few with those nice animations during the title sequence?

Oh well then you're looking at the upgraded video package which I think would help because I can shoot the entire event with a macro lens giving your John Thomas more size than can be accomplished through surgery.

Cardinal, I need to know how I can get away without shovelling when I get home so PLEASE GET YOUR FILTHY mind away from Amy's pink bits and give me answers!

Dear Madman,

Call Brigette and pay her to come over and "shovel your driveway." And yes that was a euphemism.

 

[oldguyzer]

And yes that was a euphemism.

I had a euphemism once, but pills took care of it.

 

[Madman]

I had a euphemism once, but pills took care of it.

bet it burned like a mother fucker! :rofl!:

 

[Shiek]

Cardinal, I need to know how I can get away without shovelling when I get home so PLEASE GET YOUR FILTHY mind away from Amy's pink bits and give me answers!

I would just invite tboy over and get him talking, before long the hot air will melt the snow away.

 

[Madman]

I would just invite tboy over and get him talking, before long the hot air will melt the snow away.

I think you should arrange a pissing party in my driveway! That'll melt it all away in a big yellow stream HA HA HA HA HA! I love snow days, nobody around and I could play all day!

 

[Bridgette_xo]

I can't shovel in heels!

 

[Casa_Nova]

Amateur :biggrin2:

 

[Shiek]

I can't shovel in heels!

If I can shovel in a kilt, you can shovel in heels

 

[Bridgette_xo]

If I can shovel in a kilt, you can shovel in heels

I ended up doing it in heels lol amateur my ass

 

[Shiek]

There ya go, you can now call yourself a proud Canadian. :YMAPPLAUSE:

 

[Casa_Nova]

I ended up doing it in heels lol amateur my ass

Video proof or I don't believe you. :biggrin2:

 

[IFUSEEKAMY]

Dear Fang,

What would you do for a Klondike bar?

Thanks,
Amy

 

[Cardinal Fang]

Dear A of Me,

I would have sex with Ida.

























Twice.....