Cardinal Fang's Advice Thread

[IFUSEEKAMY]

Fang,

I had no idea how much you detested Klondike bars.

Amy

 

[Cardinal Fang]

Amy,

I had no idea how much you detested spiders. :biggrin2:

Fang

 

[Boing]

Did you guys get a hotel room yet?.

 

[Art Mann]

You need to pay more attention to the review section, Boing.

https://www.hubgfe.com/community/showthread.php?39211-IfYouSeekAmy-The-Rematch

 

[Boing]

You need to pay more attention to the review section, Boing.

https://www.hubgfe.com/community/showthread.php?39211-IfYouSeekAmy-The-Rematch

Oops :blush2:

 

[Cardinal Fang]

Did you guys get a hotel room yet?.

Still looking. I'm easily put off by post modern decor in some rooms.

Oops :blush2:

Ya....that's what I've said to many women in my life.:biggrin2:

 

[User-E]

You need to pay more attention to the review section, Boing.

https://www.hubgfe.com/community/showthread.php?39211-IfYouSeekAmy-The-Rematch

So some of you guys actually get laid! :YMAPPLAUSE:

I'll have to read up on you guys. I spend all my time here in the Lobby and sometimes I even forget it's a review board. :blush2:

 

[Cardinal Fang]

So some of you guys actually get laid! :YMAPPLAUSE:

I can see why you might have thought otherwise. :biggrin2:

I'll have to read up on you guys.

Oh shit.....

 

[Cardinal Fang]

C Fang... I need some advice...

Well then! You've come to the right thread. How can I help?

How do I get younger women to find me attractive like they did when I was a bit younger myself? I don't look that different...maybe added a couple of pounds...started shaving my head and my goatee went white. Other than that...essentially the same outward appearance.

So essentially.....you've lost your hair, gone grey and gotten fat. Join the farking club. In order to impress the young women you're going to have to think like them and behave like the young boys do to attract them. Generally speaking that implies using hip phrases and slang to show them you're part of their collective. That you're somehow "down with the hepcats." I believe using "ho" and "bitch" in your vocabulary is a good start. Listen to One Direction and Miley Cyrus. They LOVE that shit.

I wonder if they can see the lust in my eyes or in my body language.

The bulge in your pants may be a dead give away. Try punching it a few times before approaching a young woman.

Anyhow, I thought younger women were supposed to be more promiscuous these days. I sure could use the ego boost of a nice young lady giving me the eye!

Just hire an escort.

 

[Art Mann]

Primo, come to Canada so you can come in Canada.

Our lovely ladies do appreciate tourist dollars.








(Just not ones or twos. They don't like cold hard cash. They want it warm and foldable, preferably in three digit denominations.)

 

[Wanker]

How did you became a Cardinal?.

Who did you sleep with?.

 

[Cardinal Fang]

How did you became a Cardinal?.

As I recall, it was some farcical aquatic ceremony where some watery tart threw a sharp stick at me. It went something like this....

The Lady of the Lake,...

*Angels begin to sing*

...her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft a pointed stick from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, was to be the devine Cardinal Fang on the Discussion Boards.

*Singing stops*

That is why I am your Cardinal!

Who did you sleep with?.

There was very little sleeping going on....

 

[Firefox]

Who did you sleep with?.

Isn't it obvious :slap:

 

[Reverse]

Why do I every so often smell the whiff of ass when I'm walking through a busy mall? Cripes is that smell burned into my nostrils?

 

[Poroit]

Why do I every so often smell the whiff of ass when I'm walking through a busy mall? Cripes is that smell burned into my nostrils?

Hmmmmmm

 

[Massimo]

What would you do if a woman crushes your balls?.

 

[Cardinal Fang]

Why do I every so often smell the whiff of ass when I'm walking through a busy mall? Cripes is that smell burned into my nostrils?

They pipe that in through the intake vents. It's meant to combat the high volume of cologne being pumped out by the Abercrombie and Fitch shop.

What would you do if a woman crushes your balls?.

I'd give her $100 dollars which I believe is the fair going rate.

 

[Madman]

Dear Cardinal Fang, how do I keep a smurf in line?

 

[papasmerf]

Dear Cardinal Fang, how do I keep a smurf in line?

I got this Fang


Ans.

Pay your rent and stop harassing turning up naked to the table

 

[Cardinal Fang]

Couldn't have typed it better myself. :biggrin2: