Cardinal Fang's Advice Thread

[papasmerf]

Can I borrow your pussy this weekend please??

why?

Robin has your mangina booked??

 

[Madman]

why?

Robin has your mangina booked??

Robin is busy with Peace. The two are hardly ever around BUT RAWD IS BACK!!

NOW get me a cold coffee and a big piece of applepie before SillyG gets at it.

 

[Cardinal Fang]

Cardinal, my cat is in love with the bathmat. He drags it from the bathroom and sexually molests it, often several times per day. I tried keeping the bathroom door closed so he would stop, but after two weeks he expressed his displeasure by peeing in the living room. At that point I capitulated and started leaving the door open for him again.

Today I came home and found both bathmats in a tangled pile in the living room. Obviously he had a threesome while I was at work.

I would very much like to find a way to break this habit, since I am tired of washing the bathmats several times per week. You can't dry them in the dryer, they have to air dry and it takes forever.

I tried leaving a bath towel on the floor in there for him to fuck instead, but he is not interested. Today I bought him a fluffy pillow, sprayed it with catnip spray and left it in the bathroom for him, but he doesn't seem impressed.

I talked to the vet about this and asked for advice, but he was laughing too hard to be of any assistance. Can you please help?

Dear SillyGirl,

Your cat seems to be exhibiting sexually deviant behavior. Cats are known for this along with the douche like attitude and oh so hollier than thou mood swings that have them shitting BEHIND SOMEONE'S BBQ AT EVERY GIVEN MOMENT OF THE FARKING DAY !

FIND SOMEPLACE ELSE YOU HAIRY GOOD FOR NOTHING CHARACTER FROM A STEPHEN KING NOVEL!

Sorry about that......I was on edge there. :biggrin2:


Getting back to your problem SillyGirl. Get at dog. The worst thing to worry about if it's a male is that it may hump your leg. Then again you can take comfort that you'll be the object of his affection and not some inanimate object.

 

[SillyGirl]

Dear SillyGirl,

Your cat seems to be exhibiting sexually deviant behavior. Cats are known for this along with the douche like attitude and oh so hollier than thou mood swings that have them shitting BEHIND SOMEONE'S BBQ AT EVERY GIVEN MOMENT OF THE FARKING DAY !

FIND SOMEPLACE ELSE YOU HAIRY GOOD FOR NOTHING CHARACTER FROM A STEPHEN KING NOVEL!

Sorry about that......I was on edge there. :biggrin2:


Getting back to your problem SillyGirl. Get at dog. The worst thing to worry about if it's a male is that it may hump your leg. Then again you can take comfort that you'll be the object of his affection and not some inanimate object.

I'm not home enough to have a dog. And the cat is insane and a pain in the ass, but I love him. Not the way he loves the bathmat.

I'm sorry to hear you have not resolved your BBQ issue. Have you considered getting a dog?

 

[Guido]

How about bringing in a female pussy for the cat. Just leave him a couple of hundred bucks and he'll be fine.

 

[SillyGirl]

How about bringing in a female pussy for the cat. Just leave him a couple of hundred bucks and he'll be fine.

He doesn't like other cats. and even if he did, his vet bills are impressive enough to keep me from even considering getting another one. I had no idea cats can have chronic colitis and irritable bowel syndrome.

Hey Cardinal, maybe that's what is wrong with your BBQ kitty! :tongue:

 

[Baz]

I don't believe in sharing a home with an animal. I have no desire in neither a cat or a dog. I find the shedding and the fact they do their business then stroll right on in and lay on the rug a tad disconcerting.

 

[Maurice Boscorelli]

I don't believe in sharing a home with an animal.

Yet you live with Ida.

 

[Barbara]

Cardinal Fang, what is a girl suppose to do when her man has commitment issues?

 

[papasmerf]

Cardinal Fang, what is a girl suppose to do when her man has commitment issues?

same thing he should do

Move on

 

[Barbara]

same thing he should do

Move on

You're probably right Papasmerf but you know us girls, we believe we can change them. *sigh*

 

[papasmerf]

You're probably right Papasmerf but you know us girls, we believe we can change them. *sigh*

and we guys love you the way you are and hope you never change

there in lies the impasse

 

[SillyGirl]

Sorry Barbara, but Papa is right. Best to move on.

 

[Guido]

You're probably right Papasmerf but you know us girls, we believe we can change them. *sigh*

Barbara, is the dude Chunky??

 

[Cardinal Fang]

Yet you live with Ida.

Bazinga!

same thing he should do

Move on

Sorry Barbara, but Papa is right. Best to move on.

EXCUSE ME! BUT I DIDN'T SEE YOUR NAME ON THIS ADVICE THREAD!

Barbra, thanks for taking the time to write. I think it's time you move on.

:biggrin2:

 

[Cardinal Fang]

Barbara, is the dude Chunky??

I don't think she brought up the guy's body type as a factor Guido. Not sure what it has to do with anything.

 

[Analme]

I don't think she brought up the guy's body type as a factor Guido. Not sure what it has to do with anything.

Are you implying Guido has a chunky?

 

[Guido]

I don't think she brought up the guy's body type as a factor Guido. Not sure what it has to do with anything.

Fangy Chunky is a member Barb hooked up with earlier.

 

[Barbara]

Sorry Barbara, but Papa is right. Best to move on.

Bazinga!





EXCUSE ME! BUT I DIDN'T SEE YOUR NAME ON THIS ADVICE THREAD!

Barbra, thanks for taking the time to write. I think it's time you move on.

:biggrin2:

Thank you SillyGirl, Papasmerf and Cardinal Fang and I know deep down you're all right but it's hard when you really have feelings for someone.

Fangy Chunky is a member Barb hooked up with earlier.

I'd rather not confirm or deny who the other party is although I'm sure some do know already.

 

[Baz]

Barbara, how long have you been together? Does he want to see other people? Have you been seeing other people? If he is from here does he partake in the pay for play?