Cardinal Fang's Advice Thread

[Guido]

Dear Fang, will my Azzurri team advance to the second round? I want you to give this a lot of thought before you press
because it's very possible you maybe causing a grown man to cry.

 

[Cardinal Fang]

Dear Fang, will my Azzurri team advance to the second round? I want you to give this a lot of thought before you press
because it's very possible you maybe causing a grown man to cry.

My dearest Guido. There is trouble in the Azzuri. Although the entire defensive squad comes from the greatest team in Italy (FORZA JUVE!) I'm afraid I can't see past a dismal attacking forwards. Personally I don't see them getting into the next round without trouncing Ireland needing some help in the form of Spain beating Croatia. I've seen the Spanish squad fight. They're a bunch of pussies that kick and slap. The Croatians are tough S.O.B.

Dear Abby..oops I mean Fang - Do you advice for me to have a thresome or a foursome this Saturday coming?.

Dear Not-so-Goodfella, I feel you pain. I really do. I've had only 3 threesome's in my life. At best two were ok the last one was an unmitigated disasters. The two that was ok were with women I hired for the task. Women that would otherwise NOT choose to be there were it not for the bribe. The one that failed was the one where the women chose to be there. I can't give you any advice on foursomes. The reason being is that I'm envious of it and I hope you're dick falls of in the process, rolls under the bed and you all spend the rest of the night looking for it.

Based on the configuration of the threesome I wish to offer you this advice.

MMF:
Relax and go with the moment. Don't put too much pressure on yourself but don't be too lazy about it either. Remember, if you're a boring fark she will just spend her time on the other guy. Also remember never to cross swords with the other swordsman as that would be a clear indication of your gheyness. Remember to high five the other guy at the start of each position and NEVER make eye contact with the other guy during your pelvic thrusting.


FFM:
Take your time and remember not to over think the situation. Let the moment take hold of you. Remember, if your nervous and the other two sense this they simply role over and get into each other and ignore you. TRUST ME THIS HAS HAPPEN. Don't get caught up in the dogma of porn videos where you want to be in these set positions. Half of them don't work, they hurt and are mostly designed to enable someone to kick another person in the head when the position change occurs. The only person who benefits from these positions is the camera person. I'll pm you my contact info if you decide to want to record this event.

Do you develop it or you are born with swagger?.

I'm getting very tired of answering questions when my forte is clearly giving advice. Be that as it may......

Nobody is born with swagger. Nobody actually has swagger if I'm honest. In my day we called it being "cocky" or as my father says "being an asshole." Kids today have taken that label and attempted to empower themselves by calling it something hip. So instead of being told "dude is an ass-clown" we get "dude has swagger." As time goes on the swagger can be built up, perfected and heightened to the point where you will have full blown Douchebaggery. A good example of this would be Kanye West.

Do you like wise guys

Only if they come bearing Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh. And seriously what the fark is up with Myrrh and the way it's spelled?

 

[Madman]

My dearest Guido. There is trouble in the Azzuri. Although the entire defensive squad comes from the greatest team in Italy (FORZA JUVE!) I'm afraid I can't see past a dismal attacking forwards. Personally I don't see them getting into the next round without trouncing Ireland needing some help in the form of Spain beating Croatia. I've seen the Spanish squad fight. They're a bunch of pussies that kick and slap. The Croatians are tough S.O.B.

Fang, stop sugar coating it, Italy is done like dinner. Guido and Peace deserve to be told the truth. Ireland as the other 2 teams will not allow them to win. At most a tie leaving the Croatian and Spain game moot. arty: I know it's over for Ireland but we will NOT BE BEAT by pasta pushers!

Cardinal you have peeked my curiosity about your threesome fiasco.Hmmmmmm

 

[Cardinal Fang]

*Looks around*

Permission to ban Madman?

 

[Madman]

*Looks around*

Permission to ban Madman?

BLISSFUL OPEN THE DOOR TO MY ROOM!!! QUICK BEFORE THE BAN BRUSH TOUCHES ME.

I think the Priest is another pasta pusher like Guido and Peace!!

 

[RAWD]

Your Eminence, I have exceptionally potent manseed and a hyperactive sex drive. Should I refrain from sexual congress or undergo the knife?

 

[Linda]

Dear Cardinal Fang, is it proper to go to work without any Pantyhose on?

 

[Bill The Pirate]

I love the fact that Cardinal Fang has taken over this site. I have been M.I.A for a while now and I actually logged on just to read this thread.

I hope you are getting a cut

 

[Bill The Pirate]

LInda ... yes, but only if you work with Skiierman ( sorry fang )

 

[Robintheboywonder]

Cardinal Fang, should Batman retire his cape and deal with his varicose veins?

 

[Cardinal Fang]

Your Eminence, I have exceptionally potent manseed and a hyperactive sex drive. Should I refrain from sexual congress or undergo the knife?

RAWD you lifelessly cheap carnivore, I thank you for your question. Refraining from sexual congress only drives stress to other parts of your body. Unless you can find a more productive outlet for the stress such as exercise the stress will continue to go unabated. Your question to undergo the knife vexes me to no end. Do you propose a vasectomy or neutering? I can tell you from experience that the vasectomy will not reduce you sex drive but will only change your discharge from manseed to manjuice. Neutering seems a bit drastic however given your propensity to self fellate as well as sticking your head out the window while driving, it does fit your online persona of "the dog." With respect to neutering we would council against such a drastic action you cadaverically disturbed peawit.

I love the fact that Cardinal Fang has taken over this site. I have been M.I.A for a while now and I actually logged on just to read this thread.

I hope you are getting a cut

No cut but my fingers hurt a bit.

Cardinal Fang, should Batman retire his cape and deal with his varicose veins?

Yes he was getting long in the tooth and I found his punches no longer had the "BAM" it once delivered. A bigger question is whether or not Robin has finally embraced the ersatz homo-erotic relationship he had with Batman.

 

[SillyGirl]

Dear Cardinal Fang, is it proper to go to work without any Pantyhose on?

It's also ok to go without panties. Careful with the short skirts, though. Funky & Music

 

[Cardinal Fang]

Dear Cardinal Fang, is it proper to go to work without any Pantyhose on?

My dearest "Spanish origin of the word beautiful."

</Shameless>

In this day and age the casual look has become formal and formal has become more casual or as I like to call it we've become slobs. Instances of women being required to wear pantyhose are not as clear cut as they once were. In your case you need to examine how comfortable you are with your legs. Do you like them? Do you have curves to them the glisten when you apply moisturizing lotion to them in the morning? Do your calves have a toned musculature to them after a work out? Do they stand out when you're wearing high heels? If you answered yes to all of these then by all means go Au-natural. If you must wear pantyhose a classic fish net will work fine. The bigger question my dear Linda is not the pantyhose but rather would you chose to go to work without panties.

Now if you'll excuse me I have to go masturbate after what SillyGirl posted.

Where are my manners. Linda, please give my regards to that second-handly infectious flap-dragon Bazerko.

 

[Cardinal Fang]

It's also ok to go without panties. Careful with the short skirts, though. Funky & Music

You know....it's people like you that cause unrest. :biggrin2:

 

[Blank_Dave]

Cardinal, you did fail to account for the possibility of Goodfellas being in a MMM

 

[SillyGirl]

You know....it's people like you that cause unrest. :biggrin2:

:tongue:

 

[Cardinal Fang]

Love your pussy SillyGirl.

Cardinal, you did fail to account for the possibility of Goodfellas being in a MMM

I did not. I simply chose to reject the assumption and substitute my own.

 

[RAWD]

RAWD you lifelessly cheap carnivore, I thank you for your question. Refraining from sexual congress only drives stress to other parts of your body. Unless you can find a more productive outlet for the stress such as exercise the stress will continue to go unabated. Your question to undergo the knife vexes me to no end. Do you propose a vasectomy or neutering? I can tell you from experience that the vasectomy will not reduce you sex drive but will only change your discharge from manseed to manjuice. Neutering seems a bit drastic however given your propensity to self fellate as well as sticking your head out the window while driving, it does fit your online persona of "the dog." With respect to neutering we would council against such a drastic action you cadaverically disturbed peawit.

Geez, I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition!

 

[Cardinal Fang]

*The door flies open. In come three evil types in red robes.*

NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise! ...Surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our three weapons are fear, and surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our four...no... shit I'll come in again.

 

[Baz]

Fang, please do not encourage Linda. This is ridiculous!