Cardinal Fang's Advice Thread

[RAWD]

I wave my private parts at your aunties! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Insertion]

I have a very important question for your worship...should men go commando to a place of worship, a restaurant or work?

I'm thinking since Linda is going pantyhoseless and may be considering not wearing her panties, perhaps we as men should be ready just in case a desire needs to be fulfilled!

 

[Oilcan]

What is the meaning of life.

 

[Cardinal Fang]

Fang, please do not encourage Linda. This is ridiculous!

Fine then put your wife on and I'll encourage her to find a new dick in her life.

Know whatahmean, know whatahmean, nudge nudge, know whatahmean, say no more?

I wave my private parts at your aunties! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!!!!!!!!!!

Ok...now we're getting personal.

 

[Cardinal Fang]

I have a very important question for your worship...should men go commando to a place of worship, a restaurant or work?

That's an interesting question and an odd handle. Under all our clothes we all go commando. God intended us to be naked and we note that until that event with the apple in the Garden of Eden both man and women represented by Adam and Eve were naked without shame. It was only when the fruit of knowledge was taken by Eve that Adam realized. "WOW! I could be tapping that ass?"

*Waits for Bazerko's head to explode*

What is the meaning of life.

42

Read the Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams. Well it's not the actual answer to what is the meaning of life. It is the answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, The Universe, and Everything (i.e. universal existence), but the question itself was somehow misplaced. Much later to come to learn it may have been "What do you get if you multiply six by nine?" (which of course does not equate).

​

 

[SillyGirl]

I always wear panties in church. Not sexy ones, either...granny panties!

 

[RAWD]

My apologies, Your Eminence.

I have a very serious question. I have a hard time getting it up. Should I stick to my 3 and 4 irons, or admit my age and play hybrids?

 

[Whatthehell]

Your highness: Is there really a heaven and hell?.

 

[Cardinal Fang]

I always wear panties in church. Not sexy ones, either...granny panties!

God that's hawt.

My apologies, Your Eminence.

I have a very serious question. I have a hard time getting it up. Should I stick to my 3 and 4 irons, or admit my age and play hybrids?

i tend to hit on the top of the ball so it stays low and i cant get any distance.when i try to get under the ball i usually overcompensate and dig into the grass.this problem is adding 20 or more strokes to my game. My advice to you is stop putting around and take up a real sport like table tennis or some other actual sport.

Your highness: Is there really a heaven and hell?.

Finally someone who realizes what I'm on.

Heaven lies in the bastion of the area between a women's legs or the Nether Yay Yay as I call it and hell is simply in Detroit.

 

[Dan]

Bless me Cardinal for I have sinned, my sins are that if I'm not fucking I'm masturbating...I undress and see every woman that walks by me naked....in a crowd if given the chance I will cop a feel..... I'm I a sinner, do I need to serve penance?

 

[Esco!]

Cardinal Fang, I shot another 130 today on the golf course.

Can you help me fix my game. I'm a hacker :sorry2:

 

[Tiger Woods]

Any tips on improving my swing.

 

[Jesus Quintana]

Your "okay-edness" (because you haven't proven to be very excellent yet) what do you recommend as a venue for a first date with someone who is half your age?

 

[jumpingjackflash]

Your "okay-edness" (because you haven't proven to be very excellent yet) what do you recommend as a venue for a first date with someone who is half your age?

Since the Cardinal is busy inside the confessional box, I will help you Jesus.



She will love it and you can feel her up when she throws her hands in the air and screams!!!

 

[Jesus Quintana]

I was hoping "Cirque de Soleil" but OK.

 

[Transient]

Cardinal Fang, what is the safe parboiling temperature of squid? Hmmmmmm

(safe for the consumer, not the squid)

 

[Blank_Dave]

If I should choose to explore my carnal side this weekend, would you have any suggestions? Samantha Nd her partner? Winter, Erin, Bridgette, Adrianna? What should I look for?

Any advice should I find myself in the arms of a wanton woman?


Or just say fuck it, and get 150+ watt bass amp

 

[Jawbone]

If I should choose to explore my carnal side this weekend, would you have any suggestions? Samantha Nd her partner? Winter, Erin, Bridgette, Adrianna? What should I look for?

Any advice should I find myself in the arms of a wanton woman?


Or just say fuck it, and get 150+ watt bass amp

Get laid already, you can always buy a lousy amp!

 

[DeePPurple]

The Psalms were written in 1000 BC. How did Jesus get in the Psalms?

 

[Guido]

My dearest Guido. There is trouble in the Azzuri. Although the entire defensive squad comes from the greatest team in Italy (FORZA JUVE!) I'm afraid I can't see past a dismal attacking forwards. Personally I don't see them getting into the next round without trouncing Ireland needing some help in the form of Spain beating Croatia. I've seen the Spanish squad fight. They're a bunch of pussies that kick and slap. The Croatians are tough S.O.B.

If they win on Monday and you hear in the news that a man is running downtown with only a green/red/white speedo on and is jumping up and down, you will need to come and bless me before I get arrested!!