Family Court - Custody

[Fuggedabouditt]

I head in to another round of Family court this week. This time it's with my youngest who's mother has stated that I'm uncooperative when it comes to communication and wants full custody.

We had an agreement that when we separated (5+ yrs ago), that we would honour our agreement and co-habitation agreement that there would be joint custody, no child support and we would split all costs for her activities, and other expenses. The ex has not worked in over 4 years and only recently started to ask for money. At first, she stated financial hardship and I helped her out. When she started to see me as an open bank account, I stopped, in particular when I started pointing out that if she can afford to go on vacations and cruises etc., she was not in need of financial aid.

She continued to do things against my wishes with our daughter and completely ignored my warning about introducing known nefarious subjects. She continues to ignore this to this day.

I have other older children with my ex-wife and we went through 7 years of custody, which I won with the last two years being self represented. With this in mind and knowing the stress and destruction it brought to my family, she will not relent. I swore that I would never do this again. This will be an ugly battle and only our daughter will be the victim while lawyers choose which colour interior of the new car that we're paying for.

My first appearance will hopefully be my last. One ultimatum to cease and desist this ridiculous case or I will create a scenario where no one wins.

 

[Anto]

Good luck. Looks like you will win again but doesn't your ex know this will take a toll on your daughter?.

 

[Fuggedabouditt]

Good luck. Looks like you will win again but doesn't your ex know this will take a toll on your daughter?.

Of course she does. But like most vengeful bitches, they only have their agenda in mind.

I love my daughter till the end of time. Anyone that sees us, envies our relationship. The jealousy that the ex has must have this in mind. I had on SP who was familiar with us (but never met my daughter) said how much she loved the fact that every weekend she was with me, was a spa weekend (I would send her pics of our activities). Loved and pampered. That's how I take care of my ladies.

The fact that this ex is a mental health professional, floors me.

 

[Cybermike]

Nothing good ever comes out of these legal matters. Mind me asking how old is your kid?.

 

[Prick]

What you spending on a lawyer.

 

[Fuggedabouditt]

Nothing good ever comes out of these legal matters. Mind me asking how old is your kid?.

During my first round, my children were of primary school age. They suffered mentally and it split our families. They went through every emotion they didn't need to for kids that young. It affects us to this day and they all have issues with trust and authority.

This daughter is of primary age as well. She is well balanced but this will cut like a knife and she'll never be the same. I was joking around with her the other day and said "You don't love me anymore" and she cried. I hated myself for doing that.

As much as her mother and I try not to show our hatred for each other in front of her, our daughter can see the animosity. We never talk to each other on pickup and dropoff. When I ask questions about things such as "When was the last time you had a bath?" it's perceived in her eyes that "mommy doesn't care for me like you do". Of course this is perceived as me making derogatory comments about her mother.

Nothing good ever comes of these things.

 

[Fuggedabouditt]

What you spending on a lawyer.

Representing myself at this time. I'm going to suggest mediation one more time between the mother and I and if she doesn't relent on the full custody, I will stop the nonsense that day with my proposal.

I see years of case conferences if she doesn't stop.

In the past, I spent over 75k.

 

[User-E]

I feel your pain.

I went through a lot of court proceedings with my ex, the father of my kids. He was the jerk, not me.

 

[ReservoirDog]

Best of luck.

 

[peace]

Sorry you guys couldn't work it out. One of my friends got really lucky as he and her partner decided to work together to end it peacefully for their children's sake and theirs too.

 

[Fuggedabouditt]

I still have hope that she can come to her senses and do the right thing for our daughter. If not, it'll get extremely ugly.

 

[Johnssoon]

I still have hope that she can come to her senses and do the right thing for our daughter. If not, it'll get extremely ugly.

If you long her long enough, you know that may never happen.

 

[God]

Wear your best suit and don't wink at any judge.

 

[DILLIGAF]

Sorry to hear that you are dealing with this!
Very difficult situation your in and I think you have your eye on the prize!
Good Luck Fugg!

DILLIGAF

 

[Fuggedabouditt]

Wear your best suit and don't wink at any judge.

The clerk asked me if my client was present. I had to tell her I was the respondent. LOL.

Sorry to hear that you are dealing with this!
Very difficult situation your in and I think you have your eye on the prize!
Good Luck Fugg!

DILLIGAF

Thanks.

 

[Boing]

Shave your balls, you'll walk lighter.

 

[JessieJames]

I think you're making a big mistake representing yourself. I'm aware lawyers can really squeeze one financially but sometimes you have to leave it to the professionals.

 

[cristycurves]

I agree with Jesse, seldom do those self represented ever come out the winners. Not sure if Boings advice will be helpful, but you could try it, lol. No one wins in these cases and the children always suffer the brunt of it, they're so intuitive and know and feel all the hostility. Wishing you the best, but more importantly, wishing your children happiness, and to come out of this unscathed.

 

[Warl0ck]

I did some digital "PI" work in the past for custody stuff. Not to defend males who skip out on support payments, but the system in general appeared to be a mess. The situation is worse for working stiffs who don't have the money to spend on lawyers.

Years ago I had a good friend who hooked up with a single Mom. She had a kid and the father was out of the picture. The Mom was literally like Courtney Love's cousin; she was crazy. The relationship ended but he still wanted to play a part in the woman's daughters life. So he took her to court for access, even offering to pay support. He was denied. The kid was old enough to speak her mind about it & did, but still no go. As soon as she was old enough, she left her Mom's place and moved in with my friend. While she grew up he attended all her school activities, bought her birthday gifts and attended her graduation. He was her Dad, but the Ontario court system felt he was not. She's getting married this summer and he'll be giving her away.

 

[Fuggedabouditt]

I did some digital "PI" work in the past for custody stuff. Not to defend males who skip out on support payments, but the system in general appeared to be a mess. The situation is worse for working stiffs who don't have the money to spend on lawyers.

Years ago I had a good friend who hooked up with a single Mom. She had a kid and the father was out of the picture. The Mom was literally like Courtney Love's cousin; she was crazy. The relationship ended but he still wanted to play a part in the woman's daughters life. So he took her to court for access, even offering to pay support. He was denied. The kid was old enough to speak her mind about it & did, but still no go. As soon as she was old enough, she left her Mom's place and moved in with my friend. While she grew up he attended all her school activities, bought her birthday gifts and attended her graduation. He was her Dad, but the Ontario court system felt he was not. She's getting married this summer and he'll be giving her away.

I have a similar situation with the oldest with my ex-wife. Her bio father was never in the picture and I raised her as my own. During court, he refused to pay support and questioned her relationship to him. It went on and on until I finally said "If you don't want her, I do...sign her over so I can adopt her". He did within 5 minutes.