Have you ever been caught cheating?.

[DocOdd]

Well, it looks like you're not going to get exactly what you want. From your description of the situation, it seems like this neighbour hasn't been entirely reasonable, but of course your perception of things may be biased; still, even if that's right, you need to cope with things as they are. If you can't get exactly what you want, maybe you should try to think of something else that's not exaclty what you want, but still better for you than the current state of affairs, that Brash and the neighbour might agree to?

And to a lot of guys on the thread, what's with the hating on promiscuity? You guys read an escort review board; presumably you see escorts. Could you be any more hypocritical?

 

[Cycleguy007]

The ossosuna's of the world are not helping our plight any though are they?

Nope... :???:

But... some may say I am in no position to comment on this sorta thing... since Mrs. CG and myself are what would be considered "swingers" as well. She LOVES women... and that is one of the many things I really like about her.

We also recently had a full swap situation that we all really found rather enjoyable. :shock:

Perhaps different than "open" since we don't play apart from each other... IDK, this is all kinda new to me too...

I guess the definition of cheating is doing something you know your partner wouldn't be in complete agreement with...

 

[Cycleguy007]

Who said its wrong to cheat? Bible? Mom? Society?

Doesn't matter...

The ONLY thing that matters is what your partner believes is cheating...

 

[Guido]

We also recently had a full swap situation that we all really found rather enjoyable. :shock:

CG she enjoyed another man's cock? I don't want to be the bearer of possible bad news but you know where I am going with this don't you?

Bliss the only point I agree with you is that being apart for a bit might be the best medicine for the both of you.

 

[Guido]

It's a hooker board people, I am betting that majority of the members here cheat!

 

[JackassJack]

It's a hooker board people, I am betting that majority of the members here cheat!

I was just about to say that. Did you guys and gals forget where we are right now?

 

[tboy]

Well, it looks like you're not going to get exactly what you want. From your description of the situation, it seems like this neighbour hasn't been entirely reasonable, but of course your perception of things may be biased; still, even if that's right, you need to cope with things as they are. If you can't get exactly what you want, maybe you should try to think of something else that's not exaclty what you want, but still better for you than the current state of affairs, that Brash and the neighbour might agree to?

And to a lot of guys on the thread, what's with the hating on promiscuity? You guys read an escort review board; presumably you see escorts. Could you be any more hypocritical?

It's not the promiscuity per se, it's the hypcritical nature of her rant(s). She's on here almost daily about how she's banged this woman, how she's banged that woman, how every week she has 4 deep relationships blah blah blah and here she is ranting about how such an idiot Brash is because HE'S found someone for a change.

As for an "open marriage being the beginning of the end" it is when you have to fill the void in your marriage 4 or more times a week with another sexual partner. Then consider each of these encounters a deep meaningful relationship (as she alluded to when she was posting on "the other board").

So, if one HAS the NEED to have 4 or more sexual encounters every week, with persons other than their "soul mate" then believe me, it doesn't take an expert to realize that there is something more going on besides the sex.....

 

[Cycleguy007]

 

[Jesus Quintana]

You should speak to Fuji... :shock:
He has some interesting views on this subject!

Fuji can not only teach you that its not cheating but that you have more class the more that you do it.

Its only cheating if you agreed to be mutually exclusive.
I've always told any girl I dated that eventually I'll have sex with someone other than her and I will feel no guilt.

Think thats why I don't have a girlfriend? Maybe.... LOL

Stay CLASSY my friends.

 

[Maurice Boscorelli]

I was just about to say that. Did you guys and gals forget where we are right now?

Some of us are single therefore are free to do and see whoever we want, others like CG et al are honest about their extra curricular activities and participate together.

No cheating or lying = No drama when the shit hits the fan

 

[tboy]

I was just reminded by a fellow HUBGFEer that, wasn't notsoblissful harping on a hot neighbour that she wanted to bang?

You have to wonder if this is just a jealous rage because the neighbour wanted Brash instead of her and she just can't stand the thought of losing out on another conquest to someone, especially brash.....

But I digress, paying someone to sleep with you really isn't a conquest.....

 

[Auggie]

I couldn't hurt the one I love that way, and if I did I wouldn't boast about it.

What's wrong with having a moral code to live by? Respect and honesty go beyond religion.

 

[Auggie]

Sigh!

As always, tboy is trying to talk about something he has absolutely no concept of. Maurice, you're not helping much. Open relationship, be they more swinger type or more polyamorous type, are not the beginning of the end. But clear communication skills are a must if such a relationship is to survive. This is the root of the issue Bliss is dealing with.

Blissful, what you're experiencing is a breach of trust from your partner, and you don't seem to be communicating effectively. Your neighbour took your admission that you and Brash are open as license to insinuate herself into your relationship, without knowing the established boundaries. Brash and her get along, great, but you're his primary, and from your original post, it seems like she's worked it so that you're excluded. You and Brash are a package deal, she seems to understand that at some level, but she's also not willing to respect your boundaries. Neither is he.

Ok, so Brash is in the throes of NRE, and yes, you can appreciate it, or celebrate it, whatever. However, he also needs to be aware that his exuberance over the new partner and to maybe tone it down when in front of you. Him not calling you after he's back from a trip with her is a big no-no. Both of them forcing your friendship with her is crossing a boundary that is making you unhappy. I'm seeing a form of emotional blackmail here.

Talk to Brash. Explain to him that this relationship he is cultivating with this woman is straining your relationship. Try to work out a way to resolve this conflict. Then invite the woman over, and the 3 of you talk it out. Maybe she's looking for something he will not be able to provide to her.

But before that, look into yourself. See what it is that is keeping you from liking this woman. Is it an obstacle on your part? Maybe you're not communicating your feelings about this situation properly? If she is so dead set on being your friend, there must be something more than just dating your husband. Are you really giving her a chance?

Please understand I'm not trying to place the blame on you. I'm just trying to cover all the angles, here.

Best of luck, and let me know the turnout.

I fully agree with dreamblade's points.
I hope you all can resolve this situation, your relationship with Brash sounds salvageable to me if you both communicate your feelings.

 

[Ossosuna]

Well she loves me, but I dont love her. I care about her but my heart has no feelings at all. I am still frozen from my 9 year prior love relationship and couldn't care less about love and feeling and all that goofy teenage shit. I do treat her very well, buy her gifts and take her out to very nice places.
So as far as the relationship goes, it is very functional. But I just dont have any remorse flirting or hooking up with other girls.

I am wondering what this will evolve into as times goes by.

 

[SillyGirl]

Well she loves me, but I dont love her. I care about her but my heart has no feelings at all. I am still frozen from my 9 year prior love relationship and couldn't care less about love and feeling and all that goofy teenage shit. I do treat her very well, buy her gifts and take her out to very nice places.
So as far as the relationship goes, it is very functional. But I just dont have any remorse flirting or hooking up with other girls.

I am wondering what this will evolve into as times goes by.

Does she think you love her, or have you been honest about how you don't feel?

 

[tboy]

Does she think you love her, or have you been honest about how you don't feel?

What do you think? I bet he lies through his teeth to her telling her everything she wants to here....the term douchebag was coined for guys just like this. Oh yeah, that and the term "sociopath".

So, since I believe in Karma, I have no doubt that one day we'll read in the paper how some guy woke up in a puddle of blood with his dick sauteing in the microwave.....

 

[tboy]

I just re-read blade's post and missed this the first go 'round:

clear communication skills are a must if such a relationship is to survive

You do realize who you're talking about right?

I think notsoblissful's communication skills are about as good as her ability to overhaul the turbochargers on a bugatti veyron......

 

[Ossosuna]

Does she think you love her, or have you been honest about how you don't feel?

Yes she does know since day 1. I even told her I don't beleive in love. She says she is good with it.

 

[Ossosuna]

What do you think? I bet he lies through his teeth to her telling her everything she wants to here....the term douchebag was coined for guys just like this. Oh yeah, that and the term "sociopath".

So, since I believe in Karma, I have no doubt that one day we'll read in the paper how some guy woke up in a puddle of blood with his dick sauteing in the microwave.....

Read one post above Mr. Sigmund Freud

 

[tboy]

Yes she does know since day 1. I even told her I don't beleive in love. She says she is good with it.

......and we're supposed to believe that a woman is stupid enough to fall for this crap?