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Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
- Thread starter jiggyjiggy
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That Little Johnny is something else...
The teacher was asking her students what they wanted to be when they grow up.
It was Johnny's turn.
Johnny: "I wanna be a billionaire and go to expensive clubs. Find a *female dog* there, buy her a million dollar apartment in Vegas. Get her a Ferrari. Buy her a beach house in Miami, a jet to fly with, get her expensive jewelry and have sex with her 3 times a day."
The teacher was at a lost for words and didn't know what to do.
She just proceeded along and asked Alice what she wanted to be.
Alice replied: "Without a doubt ma'am, Id like to be Johnny's *female dog*!!"
The teacher was asking her students what they wanted to be when they grow up.
It was Johnny's turn.
Johnny: "I wanna be a billionaire and go to expensive clubs. Find a *female dog* there, buy her a million dollar apartment in Vegas. Get her a Ferrari. Buy her a beach house in Miami, a jet to fly with, get her expensive jewelry and have sex with her 3 times a day."
The teacher was at a lost for words and didn't know what to do.
She just proceeded along and asked Alice what she wanted to be.
Alice replied: "Without a doubt ma'am, Id like to be Johnny's *female dog*!!"
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The Elevator
A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. Theywere amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, 'What is this Father?'
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son, I havenever seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is.'
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fatold lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and presseda button. The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the smallnumbers above the walls light up sequentially.
They continued to watch until it reached the last number… and thenthe numbers began to light in the reverse order.
Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blondstepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietlyto his son.....
'Go get your Mother'
A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. Theywere amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, 'What is this Father?'
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son, I havenever seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is.'
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fatold lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and presseda button. The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the smallnumbers above the walls light up sequentially.
They continued to watch until it reached the last number… and thenthe numbers began to light in the reverse order.
Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blondstepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietlyto his son.....
'Go get your Mother'
LickingGravity
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papasmerf said:
You might discover why it has become work if you do. :biggrin2:
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Licking Gravity's thread is hilarious!
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I dialed a number and got the following recording:
"I am not available right now, but
Thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making some changes in my life.
Please leave a message after the
Beep. If I do not return your call,
You are one of the changes."
~~~~~
( I LOVE THIS ONE! )
My wife and I had words,
But I didn't get to use mine.
~~~~~
Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.
~~~~~
Blessed are those who can give without remembering
And take without forgetting.
~~~~~
The irony of life is that, by the time
You're old enough to know your way
Around, you're not going anywhere.
~~~~~
God made man before woman so as to give him time to think
Of an answer for her first question.
~~~~~
I was always taught to respect my elders,
But it keeps getting harder to find one.
~~~~~
Every morning is the dawn
of a new error.
~~~~~
The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:
"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, "Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"
~~~~~
"I am not available right now, but
Thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making some changes in my life.
Please leave a message after the
Beep. If I do not return your call,
You are one of the changes."
~~~~~
( I LOVE THIS ONE! )
My wife and I had words,
But I didn't get to use mine.
~~~~~
Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.
~~~~~
Blessed are those who can give without remembering
And take without forgetting.
~~~~~
The irony of life is that, by the time
You're old enough to know your way
Around, you're not going anywhere.
~~~~~
God made man before woman so as to give him time to think
Of an answer for her first question.
~~~~~
I was always taught to respect my elders,
But it keeps getting harder to find one.
~~~~~
Every morning is the dawn
of a new error.
~~~~~
The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:
"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, "Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"
~~~~~
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