Let's talk about blowjobs

[train]

Sorry many of the SPs I have tried didnt do well with BJs. I won't reveal their names if you are planning to ask me. Amazing blowjobs rarely come by and when it does, just enjoy every minute of it.

Sorry to hear that. I must say I have had more great ones than bad ones which tend to come from women who think that imitating a cheap porno is what we want.

Wonder what they say about our muff-diving ?

 

[Guido]

Sorry many of the SPs I have tried didnt do well with BJs. I won't reveal their names if you are planning to ask me. Amazing blowjobs rarely come by and when it does, just enjoy every minute of it.

That's because this is probably what the ladies were doing

 

[HOF]

That's because this is probably what the ladies were doing

ROTFLMFAO!

Many years ago, when I worked in a mental health centre for youngsters, there was a young boy that put the vacuum around his pecker and the heat and suction burnt him quite badly! Man, I laughed my ass off so I asked the boy what the heck he was thinking, and he replied, I was just having fun!

 

[Blank_Dave]

My hand doesn't help with the skin hunger.

SG, are you becoming some sort of creepy skin eating cannibal?

 

[Blank_Dave]

That's because this is probably what the ladies were doing

Better that way than from HOF.

 

[Raiden]

That's because this is probably what the ladies were doing

I've had one or two ladies that can suck like a Hoover on steroids!:biggrin2:

 

[Prick]

NOW… Here are the 25 things men think about on those rare occasions when a woman is performing oral.

1. Man, it’s a good thing I fired off the gun before the date
   [*]Man, it’s a good thing I showered before the date
   [*]Man, I wish I remembered to write down her name before the date
   [*]Well, that’s one way to start this off. Another option would have been “gently”
   [*]Baseball. Think about baseball.
   [*]Will she notice if I pick my nose? She won’t. I’ll just WHY IS SHE LOOKING UP! Actually, that’s kind of hot..
   [*]In hindsight, Mexican food for dinner…
   [*]Keep tensing up, make it seem bigger. Good job. Mental high five.
   [*]She has all her teeth. Using them all wasn’t necessary..
   [*]I wonder if she’s going to write about this for Elite Daily
   [*]Batting third and playing left field, Matt Holliday!
   [*]I’m going to run my fingers through her hair. That’s a solid move.
   [*]Karen. It’s Karen. Mental high five.
   [*]I can’t believe she was still interested in me even after I told her I was in sales…
   [*]Has she ever done this before? I’d believe if she said no…
   [*]I DID WRITE DOWN HER NAME! It’s in my wallet. How do I reach for it? Why would I need my wallet right now? She’ll think I’m going for cash to pay her. I’m not sure I’d pay for this…ALRIGHT THAT! I’D PAY FOR THAT!
   [*]Do I have to go down on her now? Is that expected? I mean I’ll do it but I’ll go soft immediately and we’re back at square one. I don’t want to give oral all night, this isn’t a Cinemax movie.
   [*]I’ve never looked at my ceiling this long. Ceilings are just taken for granted. They’re pretty vital when you SHE’S DOING IT AGAIN WHAT IS THAT PLEASE DON’T STOP BATTING FOURTH FIRST BASEMAN MATT ADAMS!
   [*]Man, she’s pretty good at this. You know who gave great blowjobs, old what’s her name…what was her name? It’s in my wallet I think…
   [*]That was close. Maybe I should tell her to stop. I mean I’m enjoying this but you don’t hang around the cheese plate when there’s a carving station just a couple steps ahead.
   [*]If she keeps going I’m going to finish. I don’t want to finish. How do I nicely tell her to stop?
   [*]I mean if she wants me to finish, I will, but then we can’t have sex for like an hour. Is it an hour? Or is that eating and swimming? Which one do I have to wait an hour for?
   [*]She’s REALLY good at this. Almost too good. Kind of like she’s done it a bunch. Stop! You’ll lose your boner!
   [*]Alright, I’ve gone through the entire Cardinals lineup and the lineup from the ’82 team and my dick is about ready to do an Ozzie Smith flip and put a Willie McGee mustache on her. I better get her to stop.
   [*]Ugh, how long do I have to stay down here?
   

 

[User-E]

 

[DannyDeVito]

:rofl!::rofl!:

 

[SillyGirl]

Oh my! um, I don't see myself doing that.

It is funny picturing how my bf would react when the blindfold came off.

It's also funny that I just re-read this entire thread, and I have no idea which guy in that Man Parade I had going on was HotDude.

 

[HOOKED]

I need a grapefruit job, please.

 

[Sniper]

It is funny picturing how my bf would react when the blindfold came off.

.

Let us know when it happens.

 

[cristycurves]

A wet and sloppy blow job that involves enjoying all the male anatomy is my way.... I like to start by giving the rim lots of attention, flicking my tongue firmly over it, while I stroke the shaft. I then move down and gently suck each ball while teasing the perinium with my fingers. Moving back to the tip, I like to slide my tongue over the meatus then devour him until he hits the back of my throat, slowly returning to licking and teasing the rim, moving slowly down to the balls and back again. How delicious men are:girlkiss:

 

[bolt.upright]

A wet and sloppy blow job that involves enjoying all the male anatomy is my way.... I like to start by giving the rim lots of attention, flicking my tongue firmly over it, while I stroke the shaft. I then move down and gently suck each ball while teasing the perinium with my fingers. Moving back to the tip, I like to slide my tongue over the meatus then devour him until he hits the back of my throat, slowly returning to licking and teasing the rim, moving slowly down to the balls and back again. How delicious men are:girlkiss:

Ooh, that sounds very nice...

 

[cristycurves]

Ooh, that sounds very nice...

lol, thank you Bolt, a the silky feel of a mans penis, it's hardness, taste, is all very, very nice indeed:wink2: and should be enjoyed often

 

[cristycurves]

Hang on.....gotta get out my anatomy textbook!

 

[Boing]

I'm listening ancing:

 

[DannyDeVito]

24 things all women think while giving a blow job

This is what we’re thinking on those occasions when you’re lucky enough to be getting head.
1.This is an overly complicated belt. Seriously, is this a chastity belt?
2. Note to self: buy him new pants. If I don’t, his mother will get more of these monstrosities.
3. Hm, how to start?
4. Christ, this is taking a long time. Is he delaying on purpose or am I really bad at this?
5. If I pretend to be enjoying this that might speed things up.
6. Jaw ache.
7. Oh well, at least he’s not as big as that guy I met on holiday.
8. Er, grabbing the back of my head may seem sexy but I’d rather not choke to death, thanks.
9. I wonder if men secretly find vaginas as gross-looking as women find penises.
10. Not as gross as balls though. There’s really nothing sexy about a ball.
11. If I look in his eyes while I’m doing this that will speed things up, won’t it?
12. I really want to stop now but it seems like I might actually be getting somewhere.
13. Dilemma: if I switch to hand I’ll be way more comfortable. But that might set things back a bit.
14. That’s it, I can’t breathe, I’m switching to hand.
15. Why do men like this so much anyway?
16. I guess I might as well try that thing I read in Cosmo.
17. I really should have tied my hair back.
18. Ugh. Pubes.
19. Right. How should I deal with the impending, er, situation?
20. Don’t want to swallow. Spit seems rude. Boobs might be better but I don’t trust his aim.
21. If I’d used a condom I wouldn’t be having this dilemma.
22. Shit, better decide soon.
23. Oops, neck and hair it is then. Oh well, better than that time I got red eye.
24. Crap, this will take ages to shampoo out.

 

[SillyGirl]

That's depressing DeVito!

Cheer up, Primo. That list isn't accurate.

Anything that claims to list "what all women think" is crap. How could they possibly know what I'm thinking during a bj?

 

[blackram]

Cheer up, Primo. That list isn't accurate.

Anything that claims to list "what all women think" is crap. How could they possibly know what I'm thinking during a bj?

So what are you usually thinking during a bj? :biggrin2: