Let's try. "Give bad advice"

[Jesus Quintana]

Only if they don't give you "The Girlfriend Experience" (Why don't we ever go out? I want to go to Miami? Why do you want to drink with your friends and golf instead of going to see "The Notebook"?)

Should I get off my fat ass and go help a friend in need?

 

[papasmerf]

if the money is right

should I do?

 

[Guido]

Yes you should practice your golf swing on highway 98

I'm going for a job interview, what color speedo should I wear?

 

[papasmerf]

the razor wire one

Should I have bacon?

 

[Guido]

Yes with a glass of lard melted down to perfection.

Should I wear a speedo two sizes smaller?

 

[papasmerf]

I dare say you already do

Should I have scrambled or over easy eggs?

 

[Guido]

Neither, sunny side up and make them in the microwave


I want to manscape, what should I use razor or waxing?

 

[papasmerf]

sharpen the prop on a P40 War Hawk model plane with a COX motor, use that

Do chain saws make good pets?

 

[Wildone]

They sure do, also buy a couple for the kids.

Should I use an electric razor to shave my pubic hair?.

 

[-b]

Just hold onto some High Power Lines.....It will work....

I am missing my Sweet and Wonderful Lady Friend Escort......:anangel: How can I tell her?....@};-

 

[Madman]

Tell her your kitty is so itchy and you need her to kiss all the blisters better!:spiteful:

I need to lose 10 lbs., any advice?

 

[papasmerf]

cut off your fingers


Is it + to - and - to +? when jumping a dead battery?

 

[ChaosTheory]

Wrong on both counts...this is what you do:
1) First, dose the battery with lighter fluid,
2) Then put your tongue on the +, and with a hammer, hit the negative until you see sparks

I was going to recreate Harry Houdini's Chinese Water Torture Cell trick to practice holding my breath what do you think?

 

[papasmerf]

I think you should practice until you can hold it for 15 minutes


Is it good to eat raw pork?

 

[-b]

Go for it but instead of water use gas....light it...

I was going to go out tonight with a woman who is nice should
I bring something....flowers or what

 

[Madman]

No, bring crab cream

I'm going to buy some cologne, any suggestions?

 

[papasmerf]

Bathe in it

should I buy Beer a beer?

 

[ChaosTheory]

No you should buy the local kids beer and a session with an SP.

I have something in my eye, what should I flush it out with?

 

[Maurice Boscorelli]

Soap and water works for me.

Do I need to exercise?

 

[papasmerf]

not unless you are possessed

Should I give to the local mice club?