Distraught!!

[tboy]

Not to worry, believe it or not I am thick skinned Tboy and do not mind giving you my POV without getting into specific for obvious reasons.

........

Based on what I have stated and if you were in my heels Tboy, would you cut all ties, let him take his well over 6 figure salary and live happily ever after as I try and make a go of it again starting from scratch?

BTW: the term is "in my shoes" not heels lol I wouldn't look good in your heels hehehe

To be blunt to answer your question:

Yes, I would take the split of all common assets and a lump sum payment(s) to tide me over until I got on my feet again...be that re-education, updating job skills, whatever......so you too can move on and live "happily ever after"......

See, from your story, the entire onus of your life seems to be put on his shoulders. Yet, I can't help but see that your lot in life was part (notice that? P A R T) your own doing as well.

 

[tboy]

Maybe she wasn't aware he was married then, but she is now.
I'm just kidding with the tramp slut remark, she might be a lovely and kind homewrecker. :he:

holy judgemental batman...you do realize you're on an escort review board where the majority of members are married?

So does that mean you think all the escorts on here are tramp/sluts and homewreckers?

 

[Auggie]

holy judgemental batman...you do realize you're on an escort review board where the majority of members are married?

So does that mean you think all the escorts on here are tramp/sluts and homewreckers?

Yes.
But in a good way. arty:

Guys are making the choice and there is no love involved.

 

[peace]

https://www.thestar.com/news/article/1044011--giambrone-to-wed-long-time-partner?bn=1

wow.... Adam Giambrone and Sarah McQuarrie are getting hitched despite Adam having initimate relationships with different women. Uhmmmm would you forgive him? I know Barbara wouldnt.

 

[Analme]

Adam Giambrone is a left wing pinko that will hopefully be left penniless and starving!!

 

[tboy]

Yes.
But in a good way. arty:

Guys are making the choice and there is no love involved.

Ummm no love involved? what's that got to do with the price of eggs in bangkok?

So, what you're saying is if the woman gets paid for it, that's ok, but if she does it for free she's a tramp/slut/homewrecker????

 

[Auggie]

Ummm no love involved? what's that got to do with the price of eggs in bangkok?

So, what you're saying is if the woman gets paid for it, that's ok, but if she does it for free she's a tramp/slut/homewrecker????

Nope, they're all homewreckers - even if they get paid for it.
But I don't blame escorts, they're just making a living and there's no love involved. The guy is the one being deceitful to his wife, the escort is upfront about it.

 

[Jawbone]

It is better to cheat with an escort than having an affair where feelings come into play. At lease with escorts it just business.

 

[peace]

yet escorts are human beings which some may get involved emotionally....

 

[tboy]

Nope, they're all homewreckers - even if they get paid for it.
But I don't blame escorts, they're just making a living and there's no love involved. The guy is the one being deceitful to his wife, the escort is upfront about it.

So, if it was someone in his company who was just fucking for a promotion, they'd be excused from your blame too then?

Man, you have some mixed up morality.........

 

[RAWD]

So, if it was someone in his company who was just fucking for a promotion, they'd be excused from your blame too then?

Man, you have some mixed up morality.........

You obviously haven't talked to may sexworkers, tboy. The job is a job. It pays the bills. The sex is no different than you laying down hardwood. (pun intended)

 

[Raiden]

BTW: the term is "in my shoes" not heels lol I wouldn't look good in your heels hehehe

OMG, the Tboy in heels and tool belt visual has just killed any potential session I had in mind for today!:grrrrrr:

 

[tboy]

You obviously haven't talked to may sexworkers, tboy. The job is a job. It pays the bills. The sex is no different than you laying down hardwood. (pun intended)

And you obviously haven't read many of the threads on this very subject. The overwelming majority of respondants argue to the nth degree that it is NOT like any other job......and the only time me laying hardwood would ruin a marriage is if one spouse did so without the other's permission or approval (usually of the female persuasian).....I bet if you asked 1000 wives if they'd leave their husband a) for seeing an escort or b) putting down hardwood the vast majority would choose a)......

Whether a woman sleeps with a married man for money, or for romantic interests, shouldn't determine her status as a homewrecker or a tramp/slut. Just like murder: whether one does it for money, or for emotional reasons, the charge is still murder......

So if a woman has an affair with a married man, she's a tramp/slut, what do you call a guy who has an affair with a married man? A stud?

 

[Auggie]

So, if it was someone in his company who was just fucking for a promotion, they'd be excused from your blame too then?

Man, you have some mixed up morality.........

Like I said, they're all homewreckers. If the wife tosses him out for fucking someone else, what else would you call it? Don't tell me you're going all politically correct on us and you disapprove of that term. lol

 

[tboy]

Like I said, they're all homewreckers. If the wife tosses him out for fucking someone else, what else would you call it? Don't tell me you're going all politically correct on us and you disapprove of that term. lol

Actually, the homewrecker is the one sticking his dick in the wrong place..........

So, answer this: if the women sleeping with a married man is a homewrecker/tramp/slut.....what do you call a man sleeping with a married woman?

 

[SillyGirl]

Actually, the homewrecker is the one sticking his dick in the wrong place..........

+1, although it's not always the husband.

People are very quick to blame the third party, when the blame actually belongs with the person breaking their vows.

 

[peace]

+1
by the way, according to Barbara's, a man is either known as an asshole or son of a bitch. Perhaps we need a word that applies to both genders.

ps. By coincidence, a female friend confided into me last night about her husband having an affair. SHes planning to get a divorce but in this case, she s negotiating with him to make sure both parties are satisfied. Meanwhile I kept thinking about this thread the whole time especially with the house issue. Apparently her husband grew up in that house. His mom sold the house to him and his wife at a bargain price. SO the couple together put a mortgage on it. SO tboy, should they split it equally..or....

ps. This husband cheated on her twice. Yet the wife did have an affair one time. UHmmmmm man isnt marriage/relationship too complicated???

 

[tboy]

+1, although it's not always the husband.

People are very quick to blame the third party, when the blame actually belongs with the person breaking their vows.

Holy crap, I SO agree with you on this one.....hence one of the reasons I never married. When you promise to "forsake all others and until death do us part" that means something to me.......

My take on the situation is if there are problems in the marriage and you feel the need for outside entertainment, you should work on those problems with your partner be it via counselling, therapy, etc and if your partner has no desire to work on the problems, and you still feel the need to wander, then break up with them. It is the honorable thing to do.

I left a 5 yr relationship (living together for 2) because I felt her growing distant and due to that distance felt the need to find companionship elsewhere. Instead of cheating on her, I moved out. It was a mess but at least I left with my dignity intact......

 

[tboy]

+1
by the way, according to Barbara's, a man is either known as an asshole or son of a bitch. Perhaps we need a word that applies to both genders.

ps. By coincidence, a female friend confided into me last night about her husband having an affair. SHes planning to get a divorce but in this case, she s negotiating with him to make sure both parties are satisfied. Meanwhile I kept thinking about this thread the whole time especially with the house issue. Apparently her husband grew up in that house. His mom sold the house to him and his wife at a bargain price. SO the couple together put a mortgage on it. SO tboy, should they split it equally..or....

ps. This husband cheated on her twice. Yet the wife did have an affair one time. UHmmmmm man isnt marriage/relationship too complicated???

Regarding the house: what is their pay scale compared to each other? What was the original purchase price? What is owing on the mortgage? Are they both paying the mortgage? (many times I've seen something like one spouse pays the mortgage and the other makes the car payments)

See, when splitting assets such as houses, if the house is worth $300K, and the balance of the mortgage is $250K, the only part that should be split is the equity in the house. In this case, $50K. Now that value would have to be reduced by closing costs on the sale (commission) minus any penalty for paying out the mortgage early.

This scenario is different than my cousin's if they are both paying the mortgage. The thing about my cousin's situation is he was the one paying for everything. One point about childhood homes is there is a sentimental value attached to the property and that should be considered when calculating a "split". Just like what a stay at home mom is "worth" for doing that, it is purely sentimental in nature. She was never "paid" in monetary terms to do her duty as a mom. Yet time and time again, during a divorce, her being a mom has a monetary value put on it.

For eg: I do a lot of stuff for friends and neighbours for free. Just like being a mom, I am not "paid" anything for this work. Does RevCan tax me on the "value" of this work? During a marriage, does RevCan calculate what the tax would be on the "value" of her "work" as a mom? A resounding NO.......

So, to summarize, unless there were plans to sell the husband's childhood home, the "split" would be the original purchase price of the home minus any outstanding mortgage......

 

[Madman]

In my own situation the worst part is my ex-bitch was able to tap into my future pension plan. Fuck, my blood starts to boil when I think about it. My pension plan was looked upon as an asset. I'm out of here, I have to go for a walk and blow off some steam.