Just bad jokes thread.

[Stan Lee]

Q- How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

A- When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

 

[Bambino]

A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to see a gynaecologist. The doctor takes one good look at this woman and his professionalism is a thing of the past. Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh.

As he does he says to the woman: "Do you know what I`m doing ?"

"Yes," she says, "you`re checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities."
"Correct," says the doctor.

He then begins to fondle her breasts. "Do you know what I`m doing now", he says.
"Yes," says the woman, "you`re checking for any lumps or breast cancer."

"That`s right," replies the doctor. He then gradually proceeds to having sexual intercourse with her. "Do you know," he pants "what I`m doing now?"

"Yes," she says. "You`re getting herpes."

 

[Bambino]

A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to see a gynaecologist. The doctor takes one good look at this woman and his professionalism is a thing of the past. Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh.

As he does he says to the woman: "Do you know what I`m doing ?"

"Yes," she says, "you`re checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities."
"Correct," says the doctor.

He then begins to fondle her breasts. "Do you know what I`m doing now", he says.
"Yes," says the woman, "you`re checking for any lumps or breast cancer."

"That`s right," replies the doctor. He then gradually proceeds to having sexual intercourse with her. "Do you know," he pants "what I`m doing now?"

"Yes," she says. "You`re getting herpes."

 

[Bubba]

A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line.
"You must be single." the clerk says.
Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?".

"Because you're ugly".

 

[Bubba]

A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line.
"You must be single." the clerk says.
Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?".

"Because you're ugly".

 

[Bubba]

How do you know when your sister is having her period?
Daddy's dick tastes funny.

 

[Bubba]

How do you know when your sister is having her period?
Daddy's dick tastes funny.

 

[Bubba]

Whats the worst thing about locking your keys in your car outside an abortion clinic?
Going in to ask for a coathanger.

 

[Bubba]

Whats the worst thing about locking your keys in your car outside an abortion clinic?
Going in to ask for a coathanger.

 

[Bubba]

Two pedophiles sitting on a park bench. A 6 year old girl comes skipping by.. Rubbing his thighs the first pedophile says "Christ look at the body on that." to which the other replies

"Yeah.. I bet she was really something in her day."

 

[Bubba]

Two pedophiles sitting on a park bench. A 6 year old girl comes skipping by.. Rubbing his thighs the first pedophile says "Christ look at the body on that." to which the other replies

"Yeah.. I bet she was really something in her day."

 

[Bubba]

A woman goes out clubbing and meets a handsome black dude. They go back to her place after a night of partying and drinking.
As they're getting undressed, the woman slides up to the black dude and says, "Go on stud, show me what makes you black guys famous."

So he stabs her and runs off with her purse.

 

[Bubba]

A woman goes out clubbing and meets a handsome black dude. They go back to her place after a night of partying and drinking.
As they're getting undressed, the woman slides up to the black dude and says, "Go on stud, show me what makes you black guys famous."

So he stabs her and runs off with her purse.

 

[Bubba]

I was raping a woman the other night and she cried, "Please, think of my children!"

Kinky bitch.

 

[Bubba]

I was raping a woman the other night and she cried, "Please, think of my children!"

Kinky bitch.

 

[Bubba]

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

The Holocaust

 

[Bubba]

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

The Holocaust

 

[tboy]

jesus bubba, I think you take the prize for the worst lol and here I was thinking the ones I kept to myself were even too bad to post lol.....

 

[tboy]

jesus bubba, I think you take the prize for the worst lol and here I was thinking the ones I kept to myself were even too bad to post lol.....

 

[Cool]

This one is real bad:


A man and a 10 year old are walking through dark thick forest, kid says "'I'm scared, I don't like this place", man says "You're scared?, I gotta walk out of here alone!"