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Just bad jokes thread.
- Thread starter dirtyman
- Start date
J
Jesus Quintana
Guest
A guy is waiting a private table of old German men in a restaurant in Paraguay.
He can't help himself as he approaches the man at the end of the table and says:
"Excuse me sir but has anyone ever told you that you have an uncanny resemblance to Adolf Hitler?"
"I not only LOOK like za FUHRER but I AM ZA FUHRER!"
The waiter goes almost catatonic...
"Und zeez are my boys!" Hitler points out and names a series of War Criminals.
The waiter says "What are you doing here having a dinner?"
"60 years ago, me und za boys declared zee beginning of za final solution! Vee killed 6 million Jews... und 3 Clowns"
"You killed 3 clowns??"
Hilter looks around the table and says "See boys, nobody cares about za fackking jews"
He can't help himself as he approaches the man at the end of the table and says:
"Excuse me sir but has anyone ever told you that you have an uncanny resemblance to Adolf Hitler?"
"I not only LOOK like za FUHRER but I AM ZA FUHRER!"
The waiter goes almost catatonic...
"Und zeez are my boys!" Hitler points out and names a series of War Criminals.
The waiter says "What are you doing here having a dinner?"
"60 years ago, me und za boys declared zee beginning of za final solution! Vee killed 6 million Jews... und 3 Clowns"
"You killed 3 clowns??"
Hilter looks around the table and says "See boys, nobody cares about za fackking jews"
J
Jesus Quintana
Guest
A guy is waiting a private table of old German men in a restaurant in Paraguay.
He can't help himself as he approaches the man at the end of the table and says:
"Excuse me sir but has anyone ever told you that you have an uncanny resemblance to Adolf Hitler?"
"I not only LOOK like za FUHRER but I AM ZA FUHRER!"
The waiter goes almost catatonic...
"Und zeez are my boys!" Hitler points out and names a series of War Criminals.
The waiter says "What are you doing here having a dinner?"
"60 years ago, me und za boys declared zee beginning of za final solution! Vee killed 6 million Jews... und 3 Clowns"
"You killed 3 clowns??"
Hilter looks around the table and says "See boys, nobody cares about za fackking jews"
He can't help himself as he approaches the man at the end of the table and says:
"Excuse me sir but has anyone ever told you that you have an uncanny resemblance to Adolf Hitler?"
"I not only LOOK like za FUHRER but I AM ZA FUHRER!"
The waiter goes almost catatonic...
"Und zeez are my boys!" Hitler points out and names a series of War Criminals.
The waiter says "What are you doing here having a dinner?"
"60 years ago, me und za boys declared zee beginning of za final solution! Vee killed 6 million Jews... und 3 Clowns"
"You killed 3 clowns??"
Hilter looks around the table and says "See boys, nobody cares about za fackking jews"
J
Jesus Quintana
Guest
Whats the worst thing about babysitting a 4 year old?
Getting the blood out of your clown suit.
Whats so great about getting a handjob from a 5 year old?
It makes your cock look that much bigger in the videos.
Getting the blood out of your clown suit.
Whats so great about getting a handjob from a 5 year old?
It makes your cock look that much bigger in the videos.
J
Jesus Quintana
Guest
Whats the worst thing about babysitting a 4 year old?
Getting the blood out of your clown suit.
Whats so great about getting a handjob from a 5 year old?
It makes your cock look that much bigger in the videos.
Getting the blood out of your clown suit.
Whats so great about getting a handjob from a 5 year old?
It makes your cock look that much bigger in the videos.
Bubba said:Two pedophiles sitting on a park bench. A 6 year old girl comes skipping by.. Rubbing his thighs the first pedophile says "Christ look at the body on that." to which the other replies
"Yeah.. I bet she was really something in her day."
Holy crap, I need a beer :drunk:
Bubba said:Two pedophiles sitting on a park bench. A 6 year old girl comes skipping by.. Rubbing his thighs the first pedophile says "Christ look at the body on that." to which the other replies
"Yeah.. I bet she was really something in her day."
Holy crap, I need a beer :drunk:
a 1 player
Well-known member
- Joined
- Jun 7, 2010
- Messages
- 4,904
Jeezus, in the grand scheme of things mine wasn't that bad.
a 1 player
Well-known member
- Joined
- Jun 7, 2010
- Messages
- 4,904
Jeezus, in the grand scheme of things mine wasn't that bad.
J
Jesus Quintana
Guest
"My girlfriend isn't much of a fighter.... but you should see her box!"
J
Jesus Quintana
Guest
"My girlfriend isn't much of a fighter.... but you should see her box!"
W
Wanker
Guest
A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter and sees that it's filled to
the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be at least ten thousand dollars in it. He
approaches the bartender and asks, "What's with the money in the jar?"
"Well..., you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the money in the jar and the
keys to a brand new Lexus."
The man certainly isn't going to pass this up, so he asks, "What are the three tests?"
"You gotta pay first," says the bartender, "those are the rules."
So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender $10 which he stuffs into the jar.
"Okay," says the bartender, "here's what you need to do:
First - You have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in 60 seconds or less, and you can't
make a face while doing it."
"Second - There's a pit bull chained in the back with a bad tooth. You have to remove
that tooth with your bare hands."
"Third - There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never had sex. You have to take care
of that problem."
The man is stunned! "I know I paid my $10 -- but I'm not an idiot! I won't do it! You'd
have to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila and then do all those other things!"
"Your call," says the bartender, "but, your money stays where it is."
As time goes on, the man has a few more drinks and finally says, "Where's the damn
tequila?!"
He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can. Tears stream down
both cheeks -- but he doesn't make a face -- and he drinks it in 58 seconds!
Next, he staggers out the back door where he sees the pit bull chained to a pole. Soon, the people inside the bar hear loud growling, screaming, and sounds of a terrible fight – then, nothing but silence!
Just when they think that the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar.
His clothes are ripped to shreds and he's bleeding from bites and gashes all over his body. He drunkenly says, "Now..., where's that old woman with the bad tooth?
the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be at least ten thousand dollars in it. He
approaches the bartender and asks, "What's with the money in the jar?"
"Well..., you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the money in the jar and the
keys to a brand new Lexus."
The man certainly isn't going to pass this up, so he asks, "What are the three tests?"
"You gotta pay first," says the bartender, "those are the rules."
So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender $10 which he stuffs into the jar.
"Okay," says the bartender, "here's what you need to do:
First - You have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in 60 seconds or less, and you can't
make a face while doing it."
"Second - There's a pit bull chained in the back with a bad tooth. You have to remove
that tooth with your bare hands."
"Third - There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never had sex. You have to take care
of that problem."
The man is stunned! "I know I paid my $10 -- but I'm not an idiot! I won't do it! You'd
have to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila and then do all those other things!"
"Your call," says the bartender, "but, your money stays where it is."
As time goes on, the man has a few more drinks and finally says, "Where's the damn
tequila?!"
He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can. Tears stream down
both cheeks -- but he doesn't make a face -- and he drinks it in 58 seconds!
Next, he staggers out the back door where he sees the pit bull chained to a pole. Soon, the people inside the bar hear loud growling, screaming, and sounds of a terrible fight – then, nothing but silence!
Just when they think that the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar.
His clothes are ripped to shreds and he's bleeding from bites and gashes all over his body. He drunkenly says, "Now..., where's that old woman with the bad tooth?
W
Wanker
Guest
A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter and sees that it's filled to
the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be at least ten thousand dollars in it. He
approaches the bartender and asks, "What's with the money in the jar?"
"Well..., you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the money in the jar and the
keys to a brand new Lexus."
The man certainly isn't going to pass this up, so he asks, "What are the three tests?"
"You gotta pay first," says the bartender, "those are the rules."
So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender $10 which he stuffs into the jar.
"Okay," says the bartender, "here's what you need to do:
First - You have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in 60 seconds or less, and you can't
make a face while doing it."
"Second - There's a pit bull chained in the back with a bad tooth. You have to remove
that tooth with your bare hands."
"Third - There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never had sex. You have to take care
of that problem."
The man is stunned! "I know I paid my $10 -- but I'm not an idiot! I won't do it! You'd
have to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila and then do all those other things!"
"Your call," says the bartender, "but, your money stays where it is."
As time goes on, the man has a few more drinks and finally says, "Where's the damn
tequila?!"
He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can. Tears stream down
both cheeks -- but he doesn't make a face -- and he drinks it in 58 seconds!
Next, he staggers out the back door where he sees the pit bull chained to a pole. Soon, the people inside the bar hear loud growling, screaming, and sounds of a terrible fight – then, nothing but silence!
Just when they think that the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar.
His clothes are ripped to shreds and he's bleeding from bites and gashes all over his body. He drunkenly says, "Now..., where's that old woman with the bad tooth?
the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be at least ten thousand dollars in it. He
approaches the bartender and asks, "What's with the money in the jar?"
"Well..., you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the money in the jar and the
keys to a brand new Lexus."
The man certainly isn't going to pass this up, so he asks, "What are the three tests?"
"You gotta pay first," says the bartender, "those are the rules."
So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender $10 which he stuffs into the jar.
"Okay," says the bartender, "here's what you need to do:
First - You have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in 60 seconds or less, and you can't
make a face while doing it."
"Second - There's a pit bull chained in the back with a bad tooth. You have to remove
that tooth with your bare hands."
"Third - There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never had sex. You have to take care
of that problem."
The man is stunned! "I know I paid my $10 -- but I'm not an idiot! I won't do it! You'd
have to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila and then do all those other things!"
"Your call," says the bartender, "but, your money stays where it is."
As time goes on, the man has a few more drinks and finally says, "Where's the damn
tequila?!"
He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can. Tears stream down
both cheeks -- but he doesn't make a face -- and he drinks it in 58 seconds!
Next, he staggers out the back door where he sees the pit bull chained to a pole. Soon, the people inside the bar hear loud growling, screaming, and sounds of a terrible fight – then, nothing but silence!
Just when they think that the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar.
His clothes are ripped to shreds and he's bleeding from bites and gashes all over his body. He drunkenly says, "Now..., where's that old woman with the bad tooth?
Don't blame me for this one. I didn't start the thread.
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...that's just wrong!:no:
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