CA
I am going to try my best here but you are still not going to like what I have to say.
First. I know all about gaslighting. All about it. I am not gaslighting you. Not at all. Just because someone brings up mental illness ( which you openly admit to) doesn't mean I am gaslighting you. I am not trying to make you feel crazy, I am not trying to insert one idea, then flip to another, taking Yu along for the ride then switching it all up, claiming you to have thought of it all and blaming you in some way. I am not sowing seeds of doubt or anything else related to gaslighting.
It is my opinion, based on your posting, based on my experience (which you don't know about me either) - that you are suffering in your mental illness and lashing out. It is in my opinion, that you have unresolved issues that cause you to rage so hard on these boards. It is my opinion that you read into things that are not there because you automatically feel insult first. I would be a million dollars you have a hard time taking a compliment and don't believe when someone truly likes you for you.
I don't think this board is healthy for you. Not with the generally shared opinions of some based on your difference of those opinions. I believe that you truly believe you are advocating but I feel it takes a toll on you here. Also I don't agree, I guess, with your style of advocating if that style is to do a "tit for tat" style. If someone calls you an "it", I feel it is better to educate or hold places like this board accountable. I don't think name calling back is the way to go. I also think when you post those raged filled posts, that you are walking into the baited trap they set and you fall for it hook, line and sinker. Which I feel is unhealthy. That is again just my opinion. You can see the difference between my style of addressing him on the "it" issue and your way.
Now people will say "but Jess - you are such a cunt in some of your post" and it is true. But I don't have the same rage and anger. I post off the cuff comments and one liners (but just a bunch of them in one post). This is what I am good at but they are not emotional based posts. When I am being serious, you can tell because I actually take the time to respectfully share my serious opinion. For you, you can see the upset caused. You can see the hurt, the offended feelings, and then the following rage and anger. There is a difference but again, in my opinion.
I never said you were a sick dog. Again you didn't read properly and took insult where it was not directed at you. The dogs who are taken, forced into the ring, treated poorly and abused are the victims. The sick fucks are the ones who net and watch and take joy out of it. Those who bait you here, knowing that you suffer from a mental illness, knowing that you are not cis-gendered, knowing all your triggers and buttons, are in my
opinion, wrong for doing so. The analogy I made was not to insult you. But that is how you took it. It is not something I will apologize for. I didn't not insult you.
I will not aplogize for "gaslighting" and if I am being really honest, I am offended you would play that card. If you don't truly know what gaslighting is, you should not be using the term. Also, I am not trying to silence you. I will report your rage filled insult throwing posts just like I will Robertson when he refers to you as "it". Both are wrong. Saying that is "gaslighting" you, sharing my opinion about your mental illness and what I feel is symptomatic behaviours is not gaslighting. To be honest, you screaming that in every post is almost, READ ALMOST akin to false rape accusations. And as someone who has experience, heavy experience in the mental health field, it could be highly offensive to be falsely accused of gaslighting when it is the furthest thing from the truth. However, again I feel it is a lashing out due to uncontrollable rage due to unresolved issues and lack of proper mental health care and maintenance so I don't take it personally. Just like I don't take it personally when any other patient lashes out. I know it is not me, it is the illness. Again - my opinion.
So you can agree to disagree. These are simply my opinions. I do not and will not add to what I think is someone suffering from mental health issues. I will also not support an asian based review board, nor half the asian agencies I see. I won't see men who review asian agencies (thankfully most stick to what they love) but why you may ask, because I personally feel way to much sex slavery and human trafficking happen in asian markets. I don't deny they happen else where as well, I fully admit I could be wrong about few places but that is my opinion and I will do everything in my power to avoid enabling places like them. All based on my personal opinion.
My personal opinion is that these boards are not healthy for you. You say that you need to have the oxgyen mask in the plane first, well sweetie - you need a have place that will actually hear what you say. I would say a black person, who has admitted mental health issues, who rages In posts, who gets baited in posts, posting on a known KKK site, is also someone who should be removed from the site. Because it is not healthy for them either. They will NEVER make a change on a board like that. They will drive themselves further into suffering for trying.
If you are so passionate about advocting, then maybe put your energy into an area where actual change may be possible. You have already said over and over this board is "this", "that" and the other regarding some of the things you feel strongly about. For someone to make change here, they need to be one step removed from
the personal heartache these posts cause. I personally don't believe you are strong enough emotionally at this point to handle these types of posts, threads, etc.
And let's talk privilege - you seem to think you are the only one marginalized. That what? Because I am white, heterosexual and have money I have not suffered or that I am not marginalized. Thanks for the assumption about me but Hello? I am a woman. That in itself marginalizes me. Privilege is intersectional. It actually has many components. Race, gender, sexual orientation, wealth, religion, age, health/disability, etc. There are more like where you live country wise, education etc but the main list is there. So yes, my race does and has brought me privilege, my cis-gender as well but you don't know my wealth, when I got it, how I got or even if I truly have it. You don't know my faith, you don't know my health, you don't even know my sexual orientation. You assume. However, I have had to suffer in the face of others privilege. Certainly not as much as a black gay woman in a poor country who is of the Muslim faith but I know about priviledge and I fight very hard for equality. To insert otherwise is again, an attempt by you to insult me because you dislike my opinions of you personally. Instead of being able to step back emotionally and address the issue in the debate directly. That is why I feel you are not emotionally or mental fit for this board at this time.
I could go on and on but this post is long enough. My opinion has not changed. It appears you just like that opinion when it is directed to someone else. However my opinions are the same for everyone. No privildged treatment on my part.
So why don't I tell D to stop??? Because there is no point. D will go at you as hard as you go at him. That is how he is. If you don't like it, you don't engage him. He is an asshole. He knows he is, I know he is and treat him accordingly. And if you think he hasn't gone after me just as hard, you haven't read all his posts. We disagree and he attacks me when we do. I just don't both voicing my disagreement with him anymore. I am secure enough in my opinions, I am secure enough in knowing when and where to use my energy and where to not bother. I made this choice with D a long time ago. That is how I choose to deal with him based in my personal opinion of him. But even going toe-to-toe with D is not going to do him or me harm. We can call each the most foul of names in one there and laugh and joke in another. We are separated emotionally from our posts. In my opinion, you are not and that is why these boards are harmful to you and why, if you can't leave on your own taking your own self care into account and seeing the importance of your and your emotional safety and well being, then I will continue to encourage others to ignore you, to not bait you, and will encourage the bird to take the rights steps, be accountable and responsible for itself membership and give you the time away you need.
Again - all just my opinion. I know you will not like it, I accept that. I do however hope you can see it is with care and willingness to support and help that I write these things. Not to insult, shame, or silence. I say speak up but only when it will not cause you personal harm which right now I do not believe is possible. I am actually looking out for you even though you don't believe it.
And I tried to find the spelling and grammer mistakes but I am on my phone and can only do so much with no real time to have even spent posting all this but I felt it was important enough to try and explain again. Because I felt you - CA - are important, your feelings are important and I wanted to ensure I addressed it again in as nice of a way as possible. So while I spent the time, I hope you will excuse the spelling.
