Just bad jokes thread.

[Leo]

Lame.

 

[Alfonso]

 

[bobistheowl]

Why did "Jack" file for divorce from the fat chick?

He wanted to have a handful of magic beans, instead of a cow.

 

[bobistheowl]

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs and no genitalia?

Kendall.

 

[Leo]

Why did "Jack" file for divorce from the fat chick?

He wanted to have a handful of magic beans, instead of a cow.

Bad onions.

 

[User-E]

 

[bobistheowl]

A guy in low cost urban housing wants a nooner, and he has to get the kid out of the house. He gives the kid two dollars, to go out and do something fun. The kid comes back home later with a box of Tampax from the drug store. The guy says to the kid "Why did you buy that?, and the kid says "It says right here on the side of the box, 'With Tampax, you can go swimming, you can go horseback riding...".

 

[bobistheowl]

From Emo Phillips:

I was in a movie theatre, and a guy came up to me and asked: "Excuse me, is this seat saved?", so I told him "If Aquinas ascertained that an animal has no soul, what less chance would an inanimate object, such as a chair, have of attaining salvation?".

 

[Stan Lee]

A guy in low cost urban housing wants a nooner, and he has to get the kid out of the house. He gives the kid two dollars, to go out and do something fun. The kid comes back home later with a box of Tampax from the drug store. The guy says to the kid "Why did you buy that?, and the kid says "It says right here on the side of the box, 'With Tampax, you can go swimming, you can go horseback riding...".

:don'twantto-see:/

 

[bobistheowl]

A white guy and a black guy are standing next to each other at the public urinal. The white guy says: "Excuse me, bro, but I've always wondered, why is it that black men always have longer penises that we do?".

The black guy says "It's exercise. Yeah, that's it. We be go to the hardware store, that's it, and we be buyin' a ten pound lead weight, and we be tyin' it on the ends of our dicks, three times a day, three days a week. It kind of stretches things out, yaknowwhamsayn?".

The white guy thanks him, and zips up.

Two weeks later, the white guy sees the black guy on the street, and says "Hey, bro, I want to thank you for the exercise tips. My dick is already a half inch longer, and it's starting to turn black.".

 

[Charcoal]

 

[JJ Mitchell]

 

[IKilo]

 

[Candyman]

 

[Hoser]

 

[Animal]

A man and woman go to the county fair every year. The airplane ride tempts the man every year,

His wife says,"50 bucks is a lot of money."

This goes on for many years...

He's tempted again and begs, "I may never have the chance again..."

The Pilot has heard this for the last many years. He says, " I'll give you both a ride for free if you promise not to say a word."

They agree, and climb in the back.

The Pilot is sure he will earn his $50. And screams off the runway at full throttle...

Barrel Rolls and Crazy Ivans, nothing . . . Hammer Heads and inverted Loops. . . Nothing. !

He lands and shouts back, " You have been GREAT!!!, I can't believe you didn't say anything!!!"

The man says," I almost did when she fell out , but 50 bucks is a lot of money."

 

[Hoser]

White people don't shoot each other in the street like black people do.




They shoot each other at school because they have class.

 

[Robintheboywonder]

Why did the two tampons not talk to each other?.


Because they are both stuck up cunts.












Danny made me say it, I swear :don'twantto-see:/

 

[Skipper]

Two Jewish guys are walking when one notices a sign on a Catholic church that says "Convert to Christianity, and we'll give you $100." The one says to the other, "should we do it??" The other says "NO!! Are you crazy?" The first guy replies "Hey, a hundred dollars is a hundred dollars... I'm gonna do it.


" So he walks in to the church, and little while later, he walks back out. The friend says "well, did you get the money?" He replies "Oh that's all you people think about, isn't it??"

 

[Ken_Thompson]