Made with Love
Navigation
Install the app
How to install the app on iOS
Follow along with the video below to see how to install our site as a web app on your home screen.
Note: This feature may not be available in some browsers.
More options
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
Just bad jokes thread.
- Thread starter dirtyman
- Start date
Impersonator
Active member
- Joined
- Apr 12, 2011
- Messages
- 29
A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy."
When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman.
"That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker.
"Oh, den I uses the last names."
When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman.
"That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker.
"Oh, den I uses the last names."
Impersonator
Active member
- Joined
- Apr 12, 2011
- Messages
- 29
A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy."
When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman.
"That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker.
"Oh, den I uses the last names."
When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman.
"That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker.
"Oh, den I uses the last names."
Impersonator
Active member
- Joined
- Apr 12, 2011
- Messages
- 29
Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza?
A pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven
A pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven
Impersonator
Active member
- Joined
- Apr 12, 2011
- Messages
- 29
Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza?
A pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven
A pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven
Thanks to a beautil lobby sp that send me this. You made my day :666:
THE BEER PRAYER
[FONT=Times, serif]OUR LAGER, WHICH ART IN BARRELS,
HALLOWED BY THY FAME.
THY WILL BE DRUNK, I WILL BE DRUNK,
AT HOME, AS IT IS IN HEAVEN.
GIVE US THIS DAY OUR FOAMY HEAD,
AND FORGIVE OUR SPILLAGE,
AS WE FORGIVE THOSE WHO SPILL AGAINST US.
AND LEAD US NOT TO INCARCERATION,
BUT DELIVER US FROM HANGOVERS.
FOR THINE IS THE ALE, THE PILSNER, AND THE LAGER,
FOREVER AND EVER.
- AMEN -
THE BEER PRAYER
[FONT=Times, serif]OUR LAGER, WHICH ART IN BARRELS,
HALLOWED BY THY FAME.
THY WILL BE DRUNK, I WILL BE DRUNK,
AT HOME, AS IT IS IN HEAVEN.
GIVE US THIS DAY OUR FOAMY HEAD,
AND FORGIVE OUR SPILLAGE,
AS WE FORGIVE THOSE WHO SPILL AGAINST US.
AND LEAD US NOT TO INCARCERATION,
BUT DELIVER US FROM HANGOVERS.
FOR THINE IS THE ALE, THE PILSNER, AND THE LAGER,
FOREVER AND EVER.
- AMEN -
Thanks to a beautil lobby sp that send me this. You made my day :666:
THE BEER PRAYER
[FONT=Times, serif]OUR LAGER, WHICH ART IN BARRELS,
HALLOWED BY THY FAME.
THY WILL BE DRUNK, I WILL BE DRUNK,
AT HOME, AS IT IS IN HEAVEN.
GIVE US THIS DAY OUR FOAMY HEAD,
AND FORGIVE OUR SPILLAGE,
AS WE FORGIVE THOSE WHO SPILL AGAINST US.
AND LEAD US NOT TO INCARCERATION,
BUT DELIVER US FROM HANGOVERS.
FOR THINE IS THE ALE, THE PILSNER, AND THE LAGER,
FOREVER AND EVER.
- AMEN -
THE BEER PRAYER
[FONT=Times, serif]OUR LAGER, WHICH ART IN BARRELS,
HALLOWED BY THY FAME.
THY WILL BE DRUNK, I WILL BE DRUNK,
AT HOME, AS IT IS IN HEAVEN.
GIVE US THIS DAY OUR FOAMY HEAD,
AND FORGIVE OUR SPILLAGE,
AS WE FORGIVE THOSE WHO SPILL AGAINST US.
AND LEAD US NOT TO INCARCERATION,
BUT DELIVER US FROM HANGOVERS.
FOR THINE IS THE ALE, THE PILSNER, AND THE LAGER,
FOREVER AND EVER.
- AMEN -
Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she's yours.
- Deuterononmy (Deuteronomy 21:11-13) Find a prostitute and marry her.
- Hosea (Hosea 1:1-3) Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock.
- Moses (Exodus 2:16-21) Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal.
- Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10) Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife.
- Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25) Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost you a rib.
- Adam (Genesis 2:19-24) Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That's right. Fourteen years of toil for a woman.
- Jacob (Genesis 29:15-30) Cut off 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law's enemies and get his daughter for a wife.
- David (I Samuel 18:27) Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you'll definitely find someone. (It's all relative of course.)
- Cain (Genesis 4:16-17) Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest.
- Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4) When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I have seen a...woman; now get her for me." If your parents question your decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one for me."
-Samson (Judges 14:1-3) Kill any husband and take HIS wife. (Prepare to lose four sons though).
- David (2 Samuel 11) Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It's not just a good idea, it's the law).
- Onan and Boaz (Deuteronomy or Leviticus, example in Ruth) Don't be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity.
- Deuterononmy (Deuteronomy 21:11-13) Find a prostitute and marry her.
- Hosea (Hosea 1:1-3) Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock.
- Moses (Exodus 2:16-21) Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal.
- Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10) Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife.
- Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25) Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost you a rib.
- Adam (Genesis 2:19-24) Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That's right. Fourteen years of toil for a woman.
- Jacob (Genesis 29:15-30) Cut off 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law's enemies and get his daughter for a wife.
- David (I Samuel 18:27) Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you'll definitely find someone. (It's all relative of course.)
- Cain (Genesis 4:16-17) Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest.
- Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4) When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I have seen a...woman; now get her for me." If your parents question your decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one for me."
-Samson (Judges 14:1-3) Kill any husband and take HIS wife. (Prepare to lose four sons though).
- David (2 Samuel 11) Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It's not just a good idea, it's the law).
- Onan and Boaz (Deuteronomy or Leviticus, example in Ruth) Don't be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity.
Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she's yours.
- Deuterononmy (Deuteronomy 21:11-13) Find a prostitute and marry her.
- Hosea (Hosea 1:1-3) Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock.
- Moses (Exodus 2:16-21) Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal.
- Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10) Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife.
- Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25) Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost you a rib.
- Adam (Genesis 2:19-24) Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That's right. Fourteen years of toil for a woman.
- Jacob (Genesis 29:15-30) Cut off 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law's enemies and get his daughter for a wife.
- David (I Samuel 18:27) Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you'll definitely find someone. (It's all relative of course.)
- Cain (Genesis 4:16-17) Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest.
- Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4) When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I have seen a...woman; now get her for me." If your parents question your decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one for me."
-Samson (Judges 14:1-3) Kill any husband and take HIS wife. (Prepare to lose four sons though).
- David (2 Samuel 11) Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It's not just a good idea, it's the law).
- Onan and Boaz (Deuteronomy or Leviticus, example in Ruth) Don't be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity.
- Deuterononmy (Deuteronomy 21:11-13) Find a prostitute and marry her.
- Hosea (Hosea 1:1-3) Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock.
- Moses (Exodus 2:16-21) Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal.
- Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10) Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife.
- Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25) Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost you a rib.
- Adam (Genesis 2:19-24) Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That's right. Fourteen years of toil for a woman.
- Jacob (Genesis 29:15-30) Cut off 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law's enemies and get his daughter for a wife.
- David (I Samuel 18:27) Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you'll definitely find someone. (It's all relative of course.)
- Cain (Genesis 4:16-17) Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest.
- Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4) When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I have seen a...woman; now get her for me." If your parents question your decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one for me."
-Samson (Judges 14:1-3) Kill any husband and take HIS wife. (Prepare to lose four sons though).
- David (2 Samuel 11) Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It's not just a good idea, it's the law).
- Onan and Boaz (Deuteronomy or Leviticus, example in Ruth) Don't be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity.
A guy is sitting on his porch when his girlfriend comes out of the house with suitcases packed.
He asks, "Where are you going?"
She replies, "I heard downtown that you're a pedophile!"
He comes back, "Whoa, that's a mighty big word for a twelve year old."
He asks, "Where are you going?"
She replies, "I heard downtown that you're a pedophile!"
He comes back, "Whoa, that's a mighty big word for a twelve year old."
A guy is sitting on his porch when his girlfriend comes out of the house with suitcases packed.
He asks, "Where are you going?"
She replies, "I heard downtown that you're a pedophile!"
He comes back, "Whoa, that's a mighty big word for a twelve year old."
He asks, "Where are you going?"
She replies, "I heard downtown that you're a pedophile!"
He comes back, "Whoa, that's a mighty big word for a twelve year old."
A pirate and his parrot walk into a bar, ordering a large pint. The bartender looks over the parrot, smiling in appreciation of the beast.
"Amazing companion you have, where did you find it?" He asks. The parrot then replies.. "*Squawk* Somalia, they're all over the place"
"Amazing companion you have, where did you find it?" He asks. The parrot then replies.. "*Squawk* Somalia, they're all over the place"
A pirate and his parrot walk into a bar, ordering a large pint. The bartender looks over the parrot, smiling in appreciation of the beast.
"Amazing companion you have, where did you find it?" He asks. The parrot then replies.. "*Squawk* Somalia, they're all over the place"
"Amazing companion you have, where did you find it?" He asks. The parrot then replies.. "*Squawk* Somalia, they're all over the place"
Bill The Pirate
Reviewer
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2009
- Messages
- 524
one newfie says to the other. did you know that there are 50,000 battered women in Canada, the other replies gowaaan and I've been eating them raw all this time?
Bill The Pirate
Reviewer
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2009
- Messages
- 524
one newfie says to the other. did you know that there are 50,000 battered women in Canada, the other replies gowaaan and I've been eating them raw all this time?
Similar threads
- Replies
- 0
- Views
- 3K
- Replies
- 10
- Views
- 1K
- Replies
- 17
- Views
- 2K
- Replies
- 11
- Views
- 3K
