Ask bobistheowl!

[papasmerf]

I used to think that papasmerf was a foodie who posted pics of whatever he was having for breakfast online every day. :biggrin2:

I also couldn't figure out the many weird references members used between each other.

Then one day I saw the LIGHT bob!! :yahoo:

Whenever I join a new forum, the first thing I do is turn off all sigs, avatars and images, because I want to be able to quickly scan the pages while I read. The day I turned those options back ON, was the day my world finally started to make sense again.

:biggrin2:

Yes you can have some Bacon.............There was no need to be so cryptic.

You could have just asked.

 

[bobistheowl]

Yes you can have some Bacon.............There was no need to be so cryptic.

You could have just asked.

or to Sarah? You quoted her, but I though she already had some Bacon.

If you were speaking to her, why were you keeping the Bacon from her? Did she do something bad? Do you have pictures? How much are they? Or is this just some sick form of foreplay?

If you were speaking to me, then thank you for the invitation. I usually eat at the Young Men's Christian Association, but I'll have the odd bid of Bacon now and then, but usually only on the high holidays.

 

[papasmerf]

or to Sarah? You quoted her, but I though she already had some Bacon.

If you were speaking to her, why were you keeping the Bacon from her? Did she do something bad? Do you have pictures? How much are they? Or is this just some sick form of foreplay?

If you were speaking to me, then thank you for the invitation. I usually eat at the Young Men's Christian Association, but I'll have the odd bid of Bacon now and then, but usually only on the high holidays.

Sarah can have Bacon all day long as can all of the ladies.

Men must be there for Breakfast and can have it on days we serve it.

Also you must be a tenant or pay the guest fee to have breakfast.

Breakfast is served 0600 to 0900 M-F
Occasionally on weekends and Holidays.

Thank your for asking.

 

[bobistheowl]

Sarah can have Bacon all day long as can all of the ladies.

Men must be there for Breakfast and can have it on days we serve it.

Also you must be a tenant or pay the guest fee to have breakfast.

Breakfast is served 0600 to 0900 M-F
Occasionally on weekends and Holidays.

Thank your for asking.

Six to nine AM is a bit past my bedtime on a school night. "Got to rest, got to get fit. Otherwise, I'm liable to miss a lot more school". Sometimes I'm still awake at that time of night. I'll stop by sometime, when I feel like chewing the fat.

How much is the guest fee? Can I just change my avatar for a while, and pretend to be a woman, and eat Bacon with the ladies at say, 11 AM, when all the men have been kicked out? I already know how to pretend to be a woman online.

Thanks!

 

[Art Mann]

Just like Boot Camp with stupid rules

Men must be there for Breakfast and can have it on days we serve it.

Also you must be a tenant or pay the guest fee to have breakfast.

Breakfast is served 0600 to 0900 M-F

Whereas breakfast in the Art Studio . . .

. . . always involves tasty dessert, any time of day.

 

[User-E]

Yes you can have some Bacon.............There was no need to be so cryptic.

You could have just asked.

Oh papa! Thank you! You do know the way to a woman's ... heart. :wink2:

 

[User-E]

HUBGFE is a mystical, magical place where fantasy meets reality, and we're never quite sure which is which. Funky & Music

 

[Robintheboywonder]

Robin, has anyone told you those gold Lamé shorts are a little...70's?? Super hero fund, my ass. You just want the new guy to pay for your next session, and I'm not falling for that a sixth time.

I'm offended, first my shorts are green. I'm NOT GOLDFINGER, I'm ROBIN get it straight, secondly you will not stick a fund up your ass! Lastly, YES of course the funds will go to a good cause. Superhero's need a release too, WTF??

 

[papasmerf]

Six to nine AM is a bit past my bedtime on a school night. "Got to rest, got to get fit. Otherwise, I'm liable to miss a lot more school". Sometimes I'm still awake at that time of night. I'll stop by sometime, when I feel like chewing the fat.

How much is the guest fee? Can I just change my avatar for a while, and pretend to be a woman, and eat Bacon with the ladies at say, 11 AM, when all the men have been kicked out? I already know how to pretend to be a woman online.

Thanks!

Ummmmmmmmm

No

Guido occasionally gets a mid-day meal for services rendered.
Plus he rents an apartment.

 

[Robintheboywonder]

BoBtheOwl, 2 more things, first with a name like BobTheOwl, are you one of the Jokers henchmen?

Secondly, I must point out and maybe this is why you mistakenly thought I wear gold shorts

 

[papasmerf]

BoBtheOwl, 2 more things, first with a name like BobTheOwl, are you one of the Jokers henchmen?

Secondly, I must point out and maybe this is why you mistakenly thought I wear gold shorts

Ain't that cute.

Robin is making moves on the new guy.

BTW Robin I see nothing wrong with your using Robin Hood, Men in Tights, as the movie title that best describes your last love making.

 

[Robintheboywonder]

Ain't that cute.

Robin is making moves on the new guy.

BTW Robin I see nothing wrong with your using Robin Hood, Men in Tights, as the movie title that best describes your last love making.

You're just jealous because

1. I fill out my shorts better thank you ever could

2.

eat your heart out smurf!

 

[papasmerf]

You're just jealous because

1. I fill out my shorts better thank you ever could

2.

eat your heart out smurf!

The idea of doing anything with your short grosses me out

 

[bobistheowl]

Just like Boot Camp with stupid rules


Whereas breakfast in the Art Studio . . .

. . . always involves tasty dessert, any time of day.

Maybe I'm just jaded in my old age. I find it difficult to be aroused by pixel matrices designed to fool the eye into thinking that you're looking at the image of a naked woman. Most of them look pretty skanky at 800% zoom, kind of like Cameron Diaz in high def. I guess I'm old school. I need the ink smell.

 

[bobistheowl]

Robin, has anyone told you those gold Lamé shorts are a little...70's?? Super hero fund, my ass. You just want the new guy to pay for your next session, and I'm not falling for that a sixth time.

I'm offended, first my shorts are green. I'm NOT GOLDFINGER, I'm ROBIN get it straight, secondly you will not stick a fund up your ass! Lastly, YES of course the funds will go to a good cause. Superhero's need a release too, WTF??

Oops! There was a guy knocking on my back door, in a vigilante sidekick's costume, around the same time you posted, and I thought you were the same dude. He was holding an envelope marked "Donation", and I put two and two together, and assumed he was you. Every guy these days in a domino mask looks the same to me. Sorry about the shorts mistake. I normally never look at a man below the eyes, so I miss those sorts of details.

I sent him next door, to the Catwoman who does Dom sessions. I met her when the delivery men were carrying the ten foot tall egg timer up the fire escape. I wouldn't. The leather outfit, in my opinion, did not leave enough to the imagination.

The guy at the back door didn't look that tough. I figure I would have been able to take him in a fight, if I had enough onomatopoeia. It's hard to take a super hero seriously, when his crime fighting costume still has a Value Village tag attached to the neck.

 

[bobistheowl]

BoBtheOwl, 2 more things, first with a name like BobTheOwl, are you one of the Jokers henchmen?

Secondly, I must point out and maybe this is why you mistakenly thought I wear gold shorts

No but I do get 30 cents on the dollar whenever I legitimize funds on his behalf. It used to be only two bits on a buck, but it went to 30 when he asked me to lower it to 20. He's a good earner, so I let it go, but from now on, he has to whack three of my look-alikes, just to speak to my receptionist.

 

[Madman]

Bob,

The Blue Guy an Mad Man will often post some not so cryptic comment or question about the other one all over the place.

Both have a healthy respect for each other and other posters on this board.

WHO IS THIS Madman and his pet lawn ornament you speak of?

OwlBOB , I know nothing, absolutely NOTHING from which they speak of!

 

[Madman]

No but I do get 30 cents on the dollar whenever I legitimize funds on his behalf. It used to be only two bits on a buck, but it went to 30 when he asked me to lower it to 20. He's a good earner, so I let it go, but from now on, he has to whack three of my look-alikes, just to speak to my receptionist.

The problem arises once again:no:, the newbie is accosted by a green tights wearing superhero wannabe and a 3ft. 4 inch tall talking lawn ornament, ALL THAT'S MISSING NOW is the speedo wearing WOP! OWLBOB RUNNNNNN!!!!!

 

[bobistheowl]

Bob,

The Blue Guy an Mad Man will often post some not so cryptic comment or question about the other one all over the place.

Both have a healthy respect for each other and other posters on this board.

WHO IS THIS Madman and his pet lawn ornament you speak of?

OwlBOB , I know nothing, absolutely NOTHING from which they speak of!

Gee, I haven't been called The cute one in hours, and usually only by waitresses when I'm having a few pops with the boys after a GQ shoot.

And for God's sake, man, stop shouting, or you'll be Houdinied again. They'd feed you at The Clarke, but don't expect to have Internet access, and 'lights out' is before sunset. Just push your shopping cart down the street like the others, mutter to yourself, and don't worry about the talking lawn ornament. He's only real, to you.

 

[bobistheowl]

Q: "Bob is Owl, Why does business fall off in strip club?" - Boris, Pottsylvania

A: Boris, I think Natasha gave you a dose of leprosy. Didn't I tell you to wear a hat at all times? Didn't I tell you that? Didn't I tell you? What's the matter with you? Didn't I tell you? Didn't I TELL you? What's the matter with you? What's the matter with you? What's the fuckin' matter with you? Didn't I tell you that?

Q: "I'm sorry, Fearless Leader. How to make cured?

A: One shot. Two is pussy.

Q: "What if not is work?"

A: You're gonna learn about loss.

Thanks to "Bobby D" for sitting in for a few, while I downed a cold one, and bought the lime.

Q: Bob, I have a few thousand dollars to invest, and I already know what's in the bag. How can I turn that into some serious coin? What do you think is a growth industry of the future? - Max, Toronto

A: Max, I see "No Sex" Escort agencies gaining significant market share, particularly among the timid, when C-36 passes. It's a big ass market, just waiting to be tapped. Think about it: You'd be able to advertise on TV, bus shelters, match book covers, YouTube, you name it, because you ain't doin' nothin' illegal. It's strictly legit. You're gonna have your undercover cop and Globe and Mail reporter infiltrations early on, but you'll be able to make them immediately, just by looking at their shoes. The thing is: It is legit. 100%. No sex offered, whatsoever.

Q: So how would this work?

A: First you get some hot women to walk around town handing out business cards to prospective associates, telling them about the service, and how it works. Each applicant fills out a form, listing their education, languages spoken, areas of expertise, musical or artistic talents, cup size, age, etc. Then they say how much they would want in exchange for goin' out somewhere in public, with some guy who doesn't have the balls to pay for sex. Den we get guys to register, for free. Any time you use the words "girl" and "free" in the same sentence, guys will prick up their ears, and pay attention. So the guy submits his verified profile photo, and his alias, or he could just use his real name, because it's all legit. Then he gets rated by our panel of experts.

Q: How does that work?

A: We pick ten random women on a Friday, say, about 5:30 PM. We offer them each a bottle of wine, a feather pillow, and unlimited finger sandwiches, plus veggies 'n' dip, plus cab fare home. Then they rate the guys based on their photo, to determine their discount or premium factor. The range is from -50, at the top, to + 100 at the bottom. This determines the discount or premium applied to the associate's asking rate.

For example: Kaitlyn is a 34b, 32 year old financial analyst, with a master's degree in business administration, and great legs. She's fluent in English, French, and Italian, (on her mother's side), and plays the cello. She's willing to go to a hockey game with a guy for $300, less the ticket cost, plus or minus the discount or premium applied to the mark. She'll do a Raptors game for $275, because she'd rather watch tall, sweaty men battle it out than be cold. So, if a guy who's a little below average, say, a +$15, wants to be seen in public at a Leafs game with a classy dame, and he has $100, (ea), tickets in the nosebleed section, She gets $215, ($300 + $15 - $100), and he pays the agency $315, ($215 + 64.50, (30%), [ie: $279.50], plus $36.34, (13% HST), which is $315.84, and the agency eats the 84 cents, from their end. The agency hires off duty cab drivers who smell good to pick up the girls, bring them to their job, and drive them home afterwards, for a piece. The ladies get to socialize with each other, to and from a gig, so they have a chance to compare notes.

Q: "What is your target market? That was a joke, by the way, with the formatting?"

A: You name it. Businessmen from out of town who want some company after a long day, but don't want to have to lie about it. They can expense it at 100%, with no numbered company on the credit card receipt. They don't got to deny nothin'. They can say, "Yes honey, I did have dinner with her, but that's all I ate", and pass the polygraph, if necessary. We would aim most of our advertising at the premium group, the guys who can't get a date usually, even when they have money. Guys who want to impress other guys, guys who want to hone their game.

Q: So, since none of the associates have to, like, do the guys, they'd all be really hot, right?

A: Of course not. If an average guy took a hottie to a wedding, do you think that would fool anyone? There's opportunities for every budget. The hotter the broad, the more the guy will be willing to pay. Some guys only have $30, $40 bucks to spend, no problem, as long as the agency gets it's 30 points. Somebody will just have to shove over a bit in the back seat - none of the girls rides in the trunk, that's important. Some GND types can make a year's tuition from a few high school proms and the wedding season.

Q: And you really think this would work?

A: It did, for a couple of thousand years. It was called dating. Only this way, we get a piece, which we can use to buy sex with the other guys' money, and there's no beefs with the other syndicates. It's a win-win-win-lose proposition, but the guy who loses, thinks he's won.