Transphobia within this community

[Sassy Angels]

That's fair, though I'd appreciate it if you didn't use that many caps because there's no need to scream at me. Sorry if it seems I'm trying to alienate you, because that was not my intention. I'll admit that I'm far less tolerant towards many of the homophobic and transphobic shit that these men say because of my history of gender dysphoria as well as other complicated issues that I prefer not to get into.

I don't expect people here to be experts on LGBTQ rights but I expect them to have some, at least an eeny teeny level of decency. Instead I open up a thread that pertains to transgenderism (which, I'll be honest, the initial intention of making them was to troll, not that I mind because I love talking and discussing) and all I see are dick jokes, nasty comments about how "trans women are child molestors", someone posting bogus articles that completely invalidate the experiences of trans people, etc. filled to the brim, and aside from one or two "free speech" posts that amounts to nothing, the only people who have shown some respect towards the LGBT community are you, me, and cristy. I don't consider this a "oh just a few people having a different opinion on LGBTQ people", no it's more like "this forum is downright hostile and extremely unwelcoming towards LGBTQ people".

As for LGBTQ people making jokes and jabs at each other, it's different from heterosexual cis men making homophobic or transphobic jokes against us. For one thing, they've never been through the experience of systemic transphobia, homophobia, or queerphobia to be able to distinguish between what's appropriate and what's not. If another trans person made a dick joke about me it would be a joke, but if a heterosexual cis man or woman made the same joke I will see it as oppression because their experiences and intent are very different. It's the same logic as why white people should never use the N-word, while black people are free to use that word amongst themselves - because of the differences in privilege and experiences with systemic oppression.

I would never view myself as a saint which is why I always try to explain my point, whereas the guys here either they throw ad hominim attacks like "lolol chick with a dick" or make faulty reasoning that they refuse to back off from (like the "trans women are not women because they can't give birth" example). If someone else's arguments make more sense to me I will legitimately listen and respect that, but so far none of the transphobes on this forum has made even one compelling argument.

I agree with you. And any type of racism, homophobia and transphobia is offensive to me. A new person used racial slurs in her interview. Buhbye. But - aside from defending someone I consider a friend, a wonderful person, and a fellow woman working with the goal of helping others in a male-dominated industry - I don't feel it's my place to comment, because I don't have the experience or knowledge. Aside from - my friend is a woman. That is how I see her, that is what I know, and anything else is irrelevant to me. She is who she is and whatever she has gone thru has made her the person she is today, someone I respect very much. As an aside, I have been told that real women have children, and the fact that I don't makes me selfish and unfilled and not a woman. The answer to that is of course, fuck you.

 

[Crimson Angel]

I agree with you. And any type of racism, homophobia and transphobia is offensive to me. A new person used racial slurs in her interview. Buhbye. But - aside from defending someone I consider a friend, a wonderful person, and a fellow woman working with the goal of helping others in a male-dominated industry - I don't feel it's my place to comment, because I don't have the experience or knowledge. Aside from - my friend is a woman. That is how I see her, that is what I know, and anything else is irrelevant to me. She is who she is and whatever she has gone thru has made her the person she is today, someone I respect very much. As an aside, I have been told that real women have children, and the fact that I don't makes me selfish and unfilled and not a woman. The answer to that is of course, fuck you.

Sassy Angels you are awesome! 2 thumbs up!

I look forward to spending time with the women on your roster. I will just identify myself as "Crimson" on the phone if you don't mind.

And yeah I don't like children either. Never hugged one or talked to one. The last time I picked up a child I was like "okay this is awkward..."

 

[Prick]

I'd appreciate it if you didn't use that many caps because there's no need to scream at me.

Jezz is there anything that doesn't bother you?. You do sound like a naggy woman.

 

[Crimson Angel]

I only sound like one?

 

[Prick]

I only sound like one?

LOL, OK you are one. But you don't like children. All women do.

 

[Crimson Angel]

Wow you're a good spokesperson for women. NOT.

 

[Sassy Angels]

LOL, OK you are one. But you don't like children. All women do.

Lmao. Not all... I'm just awkward and probably slightly offensive with my "no thanks" to the offer of holding one....but omg, show me a puppy... snuggles forever!!

 

[Prick]

Wow you're a good spokesperson for women. NOT.

Never said I was, you did. I love women just cannot deal with the whining and give me this and buy me that or I will leave you.

 

[Crimson Angel]

Never said I was, you did. I love women just cannot deal with the whining and give me this and buy me that or I will leave you.

I'll admit some of my exes were like that, which is why now I'm thinking of only sticking to hobbying.

 

[Prick]

Lmao. Not all... I'm just awkward and probably slightly offensive with my "no thanks" to the offer of holding one....but omg, show me a puppy... snuggles forever!!

Kind of don't blame you. You teach them, spend money on them and then say. Thanks for the good times and your investment but I want to be myself and do nothing for the rest of my life.

Punks.

 

[Crimson Angel]

I'll admit that I prefer pets much more than children. I practically need cats in my life.

 

[Prick]

I'll admit that I prefer pets much more than children. I practically need cats in my life.

Cats are the most useless creatures on earth. They don't like to be petted, they have to take a dump in their box instead of outside and there is no uncondinional love like dogs give you. Damn you can't even cook them :biggrin2:

 

[Crimson Angel]

But they're so cute.

 

[Prick]

But they're so cute.

:LMAO:

I give up on you. Beginning to like you so now fuck off, I won't answer anymore.

 

[Guest]

That's fair, though I'd appreciate it if you didn't use that many caps because there's no need to scream at me. Sorry if it seems I'm trying to alienate you, because that was not my intention. I'll admit that I'm far less tolerant towards many of the homophobic and transphobic shit that these men say because of my history of gender dysphoria as well as other complicated issues that I prefer not to get into.

I don't expect people here to be experts on LGBTQ rights but I expect them to have some, at least an eeny teeny level of decency. Instead I open up a thread that pertains to transgenderism (which, I'll be honest, the initial intention of making them was to troll, not that I mind because I love talking and discussing) and all I see are dick jokes, nasty comments about how "trans women are child molestors", someone posting bogus articles that completely invalidate the experiences of trans people, etc. filled to the brim, and aside from one or two "free speech" posts that amounts to nothing, the only people who have shown some respect towards the LGBT community are you, me, and cristy. I don't consider this a "oh just a few people having a different opinion on LGBTQ people", no it's more like "this forum is downright hostile and extremely unwelcoming towards LGBTQ people".

As for LGBTQ people making jokes and jabs at each other, it's different from heterosexual cis men making homophobic or transphobic jokes against us. For one thing, they've never been through the experience of systemic transphobia, homophobia, or queerphobia to be able to distinguish between what's appropriate and what's not. If another trans person made a dick joke about a trans woman it would be a joke, but if a heterosexual cis man or woman made the same joke I will see it as oppression because their experiences and intent are very different. It's the same logic as why white people should never use the N-word, while black people are free to use that word amongst themselves - because of the differences in privilege and experiences with systemic oppression.

I would never view myself as a saint which is why I always try to explain my point, whereas the guys here either they throw ad hominim attacks like "lolol chick with a dick" or make faulty reasoning that they refuse to back off from (like the "trans women are not women because they can't give birth" example). If someone else's arguments make more sense to me I will legitimately listen and respect that, but so far none of the transphobes on this forum has made even one compelling argument.

i'm sorry i was defensive because it seemed like a rather accusing response as i posted that very early on in the thread before the rest of the comments you mentioned came through.

it's hard i understand that. LGBTQ persons go through that shit to make sense of their "stray from normality" identity and its only natural to back it up when that comes under fire. this industry is very focused on male/female sub/dom role differentiations i'm not surprised there is transphobia. unfortunately, it's going to be decades before this changes.

i like a good rebuttal and that second paragraph shows exactly that. now that's a compelling argument that makes me retract my original statement.

maybe one day it'll change. i doubt there will ever be a compelling argument backing up transphobia though lol

i say just be happyyy do whatever the hell you want love is love

 

[Crimson Angel]

I give up on you. Beginning to like you so now fuck off, I won't answer anymore.

It's okay. I never liked you either.

 

[Crimson Angel]

i'm sorry i was defensive because it seemed like a rather accusing response as i posted that very early on in the thread before the rest of the comments you mentioned came through.

it's hard i understand that. LGBTQ persons go through that shit to make sense of their "stray from normality" identity and its only natural to back it up when that comes under fire. this industry is very focused on male/female sub/dom role differentiations i'm not surprised there is transphobia. unfortunately, it's going to be decades before this changes.

i like a good rebuttal and that second paragraph shows exactly that. now that's a compelling argument that makes me retract my original statement.

maybe one day it'll change. i doubt there will ever be a compelling argument backing up transphobia though lol

i say just be happyyy do whatever the hell you want love is love

Thanks. You care about LGBTQ people and that's the most important thing. I'll also admit that any sort of "that's their opinion" arguments will tend to rub me the wrong way especially when said opinion relates to things that matter to me like transphobia, so sorry if I appeared accusing.

In real life at times I still present as male, even though I am not male, simply because I am too scared of the type of responses other people will make. Families I hang out with, workplaces, neighbours, etc. all know me based on my fake self and not my real self, and it really hurts me on the inside that I have to present myself in a way that they want to see me as, because most people that I hang out with are conservatives who know next to nothing about gender identity or transgenderism. I have LGBTQ friends but I don't hang out with them very often because of availability issues.

I wear a wig and I almost always wear women's clothing, but my voice, ugh my voice... I HATE my voice so much. Also doesn't help that I have more trouble than other people getting my pitch up. I'm also a very sexual person, who only recently discovered that I'm only attracted to women, albeit very differently from the way cis-het men are attracted to them. So I have to explain to people that I'm gender non-binary transfeminine, who ISN'T attracted to men, and then they ask me well why do I present as a woman then? Easy, because I had gender dysphoria when I was young. Never liked boys activities, never felt comfortable doing boys things, always enjoyed doing things other girls were doing; in fact doing things that other girls enjoy doing really empowered me. I have to explain to people what gender identity is, and that it's very different from sexual orientation.

In fact anyone who looks at my video game habits will know that I only play female characters, so games like Skyrim, Warcraft, my main characters are always female, not because they're good to look at but because I feel like I AM her, and it feels empowering.

 

[Sassy Angels]

T
In fact anyone who looks at my video game habits will know that I only play female characters, so games like Skyrim, Warcraft, my main characters are always female, not because they're good to look at but because I feel like I AM her, and it feels empowering.

To the other part of your statement, again I don't feel I can comment properly because this is your experience and your feelings and your life - my views, while supportive, can't add to your experiences.

However, gaming - these are supposed to be fantasy roles. So why do we do that?? - I always choose to be the human female warrior. Always. Not very roleplay-y. Or imaginative.

 

[Crimson Angel]

To the other part of your statement, again I don't feel I can comment properly because this is your experience and your feelings and your life - my views, while supportive, can't add to your experiences.

However, gaming - these are supposed to be fantasy roles. So why do we do that?? - I always choose to be the human female warrior. Always. Not very roleplay-y. Or imaginative.

That's fair. I was just talking for the sake of talking. I tend to do that a lot.

Fantasy roles allow me to be who I identify myself as and not let my outer appearances or voices get in my way. Sometimes I feel that I may be doing that a little... too much.

 

[Guest]

Thanks. You care about LGBTQ people and that's the most important thing. I'll also admit that any sort of "that's their opinion" arguments will tend to rub me the wrong way especially when said opinion relates to things that matter to me like transphobia, so sorry if I appeared accusing.

In real life at times I still present as male, even though I am not male, simply because I am too scared of the type of responses other people will make. Families I hang out with, workplaces, neighbours, etc. all know me based on my fake self and not my real self, and it really hurts me on the inside that I have to present myself in a way that they want to see me as, because most people that I hang out with are conservatives who know next to nothing about gender identity or transgenderism. I have LGBTQ friends but I don't hang out with them very often because of availability issues.

I wear a wig and I almost always wear women's clothing, but my voice, ugh my voice... I HATE my voice so much. Also doesn't help that I have more trouble than other people getting my pitch up. I'm also a very sexual person, who only recently discovered that I'm only attracted to women, albeit very differently from the way cis-het men are attracted to them. So I have to explain to people that I'm gender non-binary transfeminine, who ISN'T attracted to men, and then they ask me well why do I present as a woman then? Easy, because I had gender dysphoria when I was young. Never liked boys activities, never felt comfortable doing boys things, always enjoyed doing things other girls were doing; in fact doing things that other girls enjoy doing really empowered me. I have to explain to people what gender identity is, and that it's very different from sexual orientation.

In fact anyone who looks at my video game habits will know that I only play female characters, so games like Skyrim, Warcraft, my main characters are always female, not because they're good to look at but because I feel like I AM her, and it feels empowering.

got off on the wrong foot is all! i admire your confidence and your overwhelming support for the LGBTQ community. i've never been great at arguing, just standing up for people i love. these comments are offensive to me but i just feel exasperation, leading me to give up though my morals are saying it isn't the right thing.

its complicated and ding ding guess what another controversial topic - i think attraction is fluid until you are 100% sure. i was hetero then homosexual then bisexual homoromantic and now just bisexual. it's all about finding who you are. you do you beautiful

have you seen Stef Sanjati
- YouTube on youtube about the voice thing omg i love her lol she is toronto based and one of the most addicting transgendered persons i have ever seen and actually changed one of my friend's ideology on transphobia! not that people need to change to fit the female/male stereotype but just if it makes you happier!